Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Here it goes. I met this really attractive guy on Halloween. We have been talking since. At first it was just once or twice a week. But for the last 2 weeks we've been talking every day. We hung out a couple times and both felt a very strong attraction to one another. So today... he came over and we were getting a little steamy, leaning towards sex. He warned me that he had to leave in an hour and I decided we should anyways (It had been a VERY long time for me). FABULOUS sex. And I mean.... ridiculous sex. I felt like he knew my every desire. After, he expressed after how amazing it was for him (before I did). Now here's the problem. We never discussed a relationship of any sort. I did mention to him that I wanted this to be more than sex. He said that he did too but that it would take awhile before we were "going steady" so to speak. Sometimes when we make plans to hang out he has to back out because of family responsibilities or plans that he already made but forgot about. Or he'll just stop texting in the middle of a conversation and not talk to me until the next day. So he leaves today and so far this is the least he's talked to me. He mentioned that he was going to stop back over to actually hang out. We were texting and I hadn't heard back from him for 5 hours so I asked if he was still planning on coming over. He said he couldn't.... without actually saying it. It was like he didn't want to tell me no. Now, this guy is so compatible with me it's not funny. He is my mirror image, my dream guy, he is pretty much ME with a penis. Because of that I feel myself falling for him hard. I guess what I'm asking is do you think he actually is interested in me or was everything we had just a ploy for sex? Or do you think he is doing the same thing with another girl that he is with me? And if he really is interested in me, how do I tell him that I want him to make time for me without sounding needy or scaring him away? It's not very often I find someone I'm even remotely compatible with.... I hate to admit that I'm a bit of an oddball and most people look at me weird because of my humor. But he has that same type of humor! In a nutshell... I don't want to lose him. Help me somebody!
meeji Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 I think this guy isn't serious about you. I saw a quote somewhere that said if he is hard to find he's even harder to keep. You should find someone else who wants to spend time with you. 1
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 I've been trying for 3 years. Mind you I consider myself attractive, funny, reliable... but every guy I meet has serious issues. First amazing one I meet and I should give up already? If that's the case then I hereby decree DATING SUCKS.
Power Girl Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Translation: There's a million guys interested in me but the only one I want is the one who is not interested in me LOL, in all seriousness OP. Lmao, DJ you know damn well it was the truth
charlietheginger Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Translation: There's a million guys interested in me but the only one I want is the one who is not interested in me LOL, in all seriousness OP. All you can do is be yourself - either he's going to want to date you or he's not. That's all there is to it. If he doesn't want to date you, just pick a guy out of the other 10,000 that are interested in you The smiths wrote a song called "i want the one i can't have" Its about great sex with a person that wants you for nothing More yet you really love them and wish they would change Their mind but they wont. Youtube " i want the one i cant have" 1
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Of course though. Isn't that how it always works? The only guy that doesn't make me want to walk away is the only one that doesn't stalk me. Main problem... How the hell do I shut off my brain? I can't stop thinking about him.
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Which one? "I miss my ex" "So... Whats up?" "You sexi guuuurl" "K" or... my favorite "ur a rly cool chix." (He's a grown damn man!) I hate to sound so judgmental. I'm sure there are women out there that love guys like that. Just not me. Or I really like a guy and then he stops talking to me and I see him with some unintelligent stuck up woman. Meh.
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Point taken. My only retort/question.... Why have you still not agreed that dating sucks? It does. The process, the people... the emotions. It's like the wild, but instead of "Kill or be killed" it's "hurt or be hurt"
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 You're a pretty woman. Go to any place and hit on any man you see that you like...he'll be all over you unless it's the 1% chance that he's gay You complaining about dating is like a billionaire complaining about lack of money Oh and DJ... Thanks for being so frank with me. Definitely think I need a little wake up call there.
mitchell Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 How old are the two of you? How was the sex so ridiculously good when you only had an hour?? Perhaps you really just needed to get laid.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Point taken. My only retort/question.... Why have you still not agreed that dating sucks? It does. The process, the people... the emotions. It's like the wild, but instead of "Kill or be killed" it's "hurt or be hurt" It's exactly what it comes down to, every single time.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 no, just no. Plenty of people are in happy relationships Which will in most cases end. At that point, one person will hurt and the other will do the hurting.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 What an incredibly dumb way of looking at things Just realistic
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Well mitch, I don't believe age matters for that kind of thing. But to answer your question, it was ridiculously good in less than an hour because he knew what I was doing. It's funny that you ask that since the average man only lasts 12-15 minutes. Yes. I did need to get laid. No. That's not the reason it was so good. I've had my fair share of experience with that. On the other hand, I got my answer. Finally told him that if he wanted to pursue anything more with me then I'd like to spend a little more time with our clothes on. Apparently he's moving to Europe soon. Do I believe him? Nah. I've had this game played on me before. But hey! Until I DO find someone who I'm compatible with there's no harm in using him for a good time is there?
Author Lysssa Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Eternal... Yes I do believe that the dating game is like that. Hurt or be hurt. The DATING game. I still believe that when you find someone you love it is no longer a game. It is no longer survival. It's being with someone that you work hard to make happy because you know they'll do the same for you. People in relationships aren't doomed to be hurt unless they go into it with that mentality. Keep hope. If you don't you're doomed to be single. And as an end to this, I must say that I just need a slap in the face of reality. The first one you meet is NOT a keeper. Also, always trust your gut. If he's not making time for you that means he doesn't want to make time for you and he will NEVER change. Anadu: Spot on. Loneliness can do some weird things to a lady. Thanks everyone! It's funny to think that I would rather talk to complete strangers than my own family about this stuff.
meeji Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Which one? "I miss my ex" "So... Whats up?" "You sexi guuuurl" "K" or... my favorite "ur a rly cool chix." (He's a grown damn man!) I hate to sound so judgmental. I'm sure there are women out there that love guys like that. Just not me. Or I really like a guy and then he stops talking to me and I see him with some unintelligent stuck up woman. Meh. HAHA! I know exactly what you mean by :"I miss my ex" "So... Whats up?" "You sexi guuuurl" "K" Hilarious
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