Inflikted Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Some of you may have seen my posts in the past. If not, here's a basic recap of what's happened... Last summer, I fell pretty hard for a girl I work with (we're both part timers at a little retail store), which was kind of a big deal to me, because despite being 24, I've never dated and haven't really found many girls in my lifetime that I actually wanted to date. I asked her out and she turned me down. We continued getting along really well, though, and I decided I'd enjoy just being friends with her. My feelings sort of came back a bit over the last couple months, and that caused a bit of an inner conflict for myself, which led to me making some poor decisions. Some other coworkers got involved a bit, which prompted her to come to me last week about how things had gotten weird. I took responsibility and apologized for the bad decisions I made, I made it clear I wasn't "pursuing" her still, and we ironed things out, but she didn't feel comfortable having a friendship beyond work. I know for sure with 100% certainty that there's no possibility for friendship or anything else with her. That sucks (and I feel super bad and guilty about the mess I made), but I understand, and I have no intention to say or do anything further to her about any of this. The problem is, even after all of this, on days where I work with her, even when I try very hard to occupy my time, I still find myself thinking about her, wanting to spend time with her and talk to her, etc. I try to force myself to stay away, but I still slip up and find myself hoping she'll talk to me like she used to. I don't WANT to still think about her and feel "something" for her. I know nothing is going to happen, I know we're not going to even be friends. I don't get why I can't just make it go away completely, after everything that's happened. I mean, I don't think about her anymore when I'm not working with her (and thankfully, I don't share too many shifts with her these days), but when we work the same shift, I just can't get this stuff out of my head. Why is that?
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