ramones Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Hi all, I would be very grateful for your help/opinions on my situation I apologize in advance it could be a long read ... Right I'm 19, I understand this is still young but I am mature for my age a lot of my close friends are 25+ and I feel I fit in much better at their maturity level than with people of my own age. That said, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years he is the same age as me and love him dearly however the spark has disappeared in the past 6 months I don't feel the same as I used to, he has picked up on this and is trying to cling on. One of the reasons the spark has disappeared is because I started a new job in September and have well and truly fallen for one of my colleagues that I work with every day. Here comes the complicated bit, my colleague is 35 (16 years older than me) and my colleague is also a woman, yes a woman. I am totally and utterly smitten with her and hang on her every word. She has a boyfriend and has said in a conversation once that being into sports and playing in teams with a lot of lesbians that try to hit on her she finds it horrible and is straight. This conversation was unrelated to me liking her, I just laughed and agreed like an idiot! I obviously haven't told her I like her and I definitely would never have the guts to. She is much older than me and obviously has much more experience with her sexuality than me and it would be utterly stupid and far-fetched for me to think for one second that I she could fancy me, a woman. I really don't know what to do firstly with my boyfriend, I couldn't break his heart but I'm just not happy with him anymore I want freedom, and secondly about my work colleague. I know there's not much I can do but any advice on coping with this would be much appreciated.
Tenacity Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Leave you BF right away. No need to prolong his agony and if you are not into him there is no need to go on. Furthermore, you may be gay or bisexual. Perhaps gay and that is why the BF does not do it for you. Leave the BF and seek counseling regarding your orientation. No big deal if you are gay or bi. However, you need to clarify this. As for your co-worker she is way too old for you regardless of your preference. Ditto. Why hang onto a boyfriend that you no longer want a relationship with? You are just prolonging things which will cause him more pain in the long run. Your co-worker is way, way too old for you - regardless of the sexual orientation issues, which you first need to work out for yourself. I would recommend that you avoid any kind of relationship until you are able to work through these issues and know more about who you are.
Author ramones Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Thanks guys, needed that reality check I think! I don't believe I am a lesbian possibly bi as I have never felt an attraction like this towards a woman before or even thought about the possibility of being with a woman and I still find men attractive for example if I was out at a club I would never look at a woman or even think about it, only men. I don't find women attractive in that way apart from this one woman. Very confused about my sexuality!!
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