itzjusmee Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Just recently got involved with somebody a couple of months ago. I've chasing after her for some time now since over the summer but it was just strictly talking, texting and talking for hours about what we wanted, what we were looking for...getting to know each other and our desires, basically. Well the opportunity finally presents itself and she gives me a chance. It was great, spent time with each other all the time, nights over, cuddling and talking about a life together. Until her ex squeezed his way back into the picture and started telling her what she wanted to hear on the sidelines, so we split up last week. Said she didn't know who she wants in her life, that she needs time and space to do her, blah blah blah. But i never tried to hold her down from what she wanted to do whether it was going to a friends to the bar for a few drinks. She also stated we could still be friends but why? She doesn't talk to me the same way, acts distant like we never happed, but doesn't deny the fact that she still feels me and misses me from time to time. Anyway, i know a good bit about this guy from what she has told me and he is bad news. He's strung out on pills, spends the majority of his days and nights at the bar, degrades her when he's pissed, calling her a whore and fat etc has put his hands on her before and everything. Our relationship wasn't bad, i did everything i could to make her feel happy, good, beautiful, like she was the only one for me, tell her how beautiful i think she his, caress her face, kiss her body, put her first before hanging out with friends...everything. not to mention me and her kid get along great! She loves me to death which is saying a lot because apparently she has liked none of her ex. I just don't know what to do i feel lost. Everything this girl has told me from not wanting to lose me to never wanting to walk out of each others lives all the way down to sharing a life together. This is my first serious relationship in over 2 years since things went sour with my last ex. I recovered from that, learned what happened, worked on myself and pick things back up which is what you're supposed to do right? I've been texting her the past few days telling her how i feel and putting my cards out on the table, not trying to convince exactly but tell her the things she needs to hear about this guy and that if thing didn't work out multiple times before then he's not going to change and that before long things will be the same. I really care about this girl so much and have fallen for her i just don't know what to do. I'm about as persistent as they come when i have my heart and mind set. So my question, should i stick to my guns and show her how much us means to me, that i still want her and that she will never be just an option or reserve to me like he treats her? Or should no contact go into full effect with the hope she might see the error of her ways?
HARPER100 Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 The point of NC is to help you move on, not to win back an ex. Would you really want to be with her again anyway? From what you say in your post she dropped you for someone else and not just anyone - an ex who treated her like s**t! What does that say about her feelings for you? She may want to stay friends but who benefits from that? Only her. She gets to keep you as a back up when/if things don't work out. Playing games with NC or trying to win her back in another manner is just going to delay you moving on with your life. I wish you all the best however you decide to proceed,
sharkbite Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 speaking for good guys across the world............. let this girl go! as tough as it is because of the time you spent together....if she puts no effort into it than how long will it really last if you win her back? sure she says she loves you and you mean so much more than her ex's (welcome to my life....and the life of so many others on here) ....but remember you can't get wet by saying the word "water"....words mean nothing......actions mean everything! stay no contact she is not worth your fight and struggle, give that energy to someone that deserves it, find another girl...get over her!
Author itzjusmee Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 The point of NC is to help you move on, not to win back an ex. *Playing games with NC or trying to win her back in another manner is just going to delay you moving on with your life. I wish you all the best however you decide to proceed, I understand what you're saying but by enforcing no contact i didn't mean it as a way to get her back. Just to try and heal and hope she comes around in the mean time, rather. I guess if anything I'm scared of the thought of wasting the past few months with her. No time is wasted if you learn along the way but I'm sure you know what i mean. I don't know though I'm just not the type of person to give up and throw in the towel.
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