Ruffian1 Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 A bit of back-ground. I have been married for 26 years. I am 53 yo. I am divorcing due to husbands cheating. I got traded in for a younger model. (I have always been faithful). Anyway, I havn't been dating since 1985. . .lol I work and go to school so OLD seems the best way to find dates. I am attractive and in good shape. So here it is: Hello! I work in the healthcare field. Currently changing careers, still in healthcare but different specialty. I’m looking for a man who is easy going and can put a smile on my face. Let's see if we click, no expectations except mutual honesty, respect and a willingness to take the time to develop trust and friendship first. If that “spark” is there. . great, we are lucky . . . I am straightforward, soft-hearted, level-headed. I am attracted to a confident, educated, honest man. Righ now I live in the county. I am just stepping back into the dating scene. Looking to spend time doing fun activites with or just hang out with someone who enjoys my company as much as I do his. Also, I'd like to make clear, I have been separated for several years, divorce almost finalized. For now, I am looking forward to a fresh start, do it right, have some fun, and hopefully someday build a long term relationship. If you like what you see in my profile then go ahead . . . make my day :-) Please be honest . . .need constructive feed back. Thanks!
El Brujo Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 I don't critique other people's profiles, because you know what? Every person you ask to read it is going to tell you something different that they want you to change or peck out... so the end result is that you end up with no profile at all. That's one reason why I switched to Meetups.
Author Ruffian1 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 I understand that some people will "tell you something different that they want you to change or peck out". That is okay with me. I am just seeking different opinions and feed back. No judgement, just an opinion either way. :>
Bristolius Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Leave out why your marriage ended. You'll have time later to tell someone about that. Describe things that are important to you and what you like to do. My two cents. 1
Author Ruffian1 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 I did, the beginning paragraph is not part of my profile. Just wanted to let them know I was soon to be legally divorced. Thanks for the input.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 I think with profile text like that you'll get many offers but they will be from men looking to hook up. If you are looking for a serious relationship you have to make it clear you are looking for a serious relationship. It has been my experience that most people on OLD aren't looking for that. They are looking for some fun flirty chatting, perhaps a couple dates here and there. While it does happen, now that I think of it, I don't know one couple that met online and I know plenty of couples. Just my $0.02.
ErosOcean Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) I think with profile text like that you'll get many offers but they will be from men looking to hook up. If you are looking for a serious relationship you have to make it clear you are looking for a serious relationship. He's right. Your profile reads like you are just looking for a fling with a guy who is okay with having flings as well. It seems as if you don't know exactly what you are looking for in a guy right now. If that's what you are trying to score, then you should be okay... With OLD, as a woman, it usually wouldn't matter what you write. Most men will just respond to your profile because you are a woman. You can have no picture and no profile but just the words female gender will get men on OLD to respond. From what I've heard on the psychology of what works best is that people read profiles and find things that compliments their lifestyle or is a mirror of themselves. For example, if you wrote "I like to rock climb and do outdoorsy things. I'm looking for a guy who likes to cook..." there's a good chance that the outdoorsy guy will respond more than the guy who likes to cook. Edited January 19, 2013 by ErosOcean
veggirl Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 I think it sounds upbeat and friendly and cute.
Author Ruffian1 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 Okay then. I appreciate everyone's input. I have adjusted it to the following. Thanks everyone! Hello! I work in the healthcare field. Currently changing careers, still in healthcare but different specialty. I am very active and outdoorsy, looking for the same in a partner. I am straightforward, soft-hearted, level-headed. I am just stepping back into the dating scene. Looking for friendship first. Also, I'd like to make clear, I have been separated for several years, divorce almost finalized. I’m attracted to a confident, fit, educated, honest man. I am looking forward to a fresh start, do it right and wish to build a long-term committed relationship. If you like what you see in my profile then, go ahead . . . make my day :-)
Mr_Flay Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 "Friendship first" has always sounded a bit out of place to me. It could be a hedge to prevent the author of the profile text from sounding desperate, or some men may read it as "endless correspondence, then friendzone". Instead of that, try formulating something with "if we click". That way you show that you have some standards/criteria, but leave things open for spontaneity. It isn't right to restrict communication with someone before it even begins. Otherwise, I like the profile. Short, concise and shows that you know what you want.
FitChick Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 delete the "Currently changing careers" sentence. It's irrelevant since you already mentioned health care. What sorts of outdoor activities? Walking, hiking, biking, tennis, swimming, horseback riding, skiing, touch football, hang gliding? Be specific. Mention something you haven't done but would like to if you had a partner and maybe that guy will respond. 1
Maneater Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 I agree with everyone else on not mentioning switching careers. I've done plenty of OLD and no man has ever cared what my career is as long as I'm not some lazy ass and I went to college. leave this entire sentence out: Also, I'd like to make clear, I have been separated for several years, divorce almost finalized.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Your first profile sounds better. I would go with that
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Your first profile would have gotten you hook-ups and nothing else. Your second attempt is much more focused, which is great. Nice job. That being said, "friendship first" is disingenuous. People are on dating sites to date. No guy on a dating site is looking to be your penpal or activity buddy. Join a book club or sports league if you want friends. So either you're completely clueless about the purpose of a dating site or you're so insecure about looking desperate because you're on a dating site that you won't even admit why you're there. Neither makes you appealing to potential partners. Learn to be open and honest! As someone who was very successful with OLD and almost exclusively met guys looking for a serious, long-term relationship, I'll tell you that you need to be clear about who you are and what you're looking for. Profile wording absolutely matters if you seek a relationship. Of course, so too do pictures. What is your dating age range? You will get tons of opinions here. What you want are opinions from your target audience. A 25-year old guy or a woman looking for a mate will respond negatively/positively to very different things than an older male. Most of your feedback so far did not come from men looking to date women in their fifties. In addition, ask men in your target age range who are your friends to help you with your profile and photo selection. What men focus on and look for in photos is surprisingly different than women. The other group that will be particularly helpful will be women roughly your age who successfully found the types of relationships you seek. Not seeing those folks among your responses either. Good luck!
Recommended Posts