FailedFirstLove Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 My whole job involves sorting other peoples sh it out. I am fed up with it. I am a legal aid lawyer. I see disadvantaged people all the time. I'm not about to start faffing around with more helping.... I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me and I'll never get anyone like that again.he said it May not have happened if I hadn't lost my temper... Nice to always wonder what if. No point wondering "IF" there is NO "If". its an excuse to get out of the relationship he didnt want anymore. Even if you didnt lose your temper there would have been something else. If he really loved you losing your temper isn't a big deal and doesn't require breakup. If his angry maybe a few days of ignoring.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 No point wondering "IF" there is NO "If". its an excuse to get out of the relationship he didnt want anymore. Even if you didnt lose your temper there would have been something else. If he really loved you losing your temper isn't a big deal and doesn't require breakup. If his angry maybe a few days of ignoring. It was over something very minor and he'd only been in a 4 month relationship before me. never got to fight stage before. he had not been well and I was unreasonable. he probably thought if she's like this early on what will she be like in a few years. It was all my fault.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 It was over something very minor and he'd only been in a 4 month relationship before me. never got to fight stage before. he had not been well and I was unreasonable. he probably thought if she's like this early on what will she be like in a few years. It was all my fault. If this is the case then would you want a future with a guy like this? that gives up on your relationship right from the beginning? Come on. Married people go trough alot more than this. Imagine when you have stress of kids and finances and time. All these things. His just going to give up? There's no point blaming yourself now. You should focus on how you can make yourself better! work on not losing your temper.
HaveFaithxx Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Amelie, When I was 23 I found the love of my life. We got married and had my beautiful daughter. But it all fell apart 3 years later when my daughter was 3. I had moved to his country to be with him. I had very few friends, I couldn't speak the langauge and my family is living on another continent. I thought I had nothing. I wanted to die, and even tried to commit suicide. I was heartbroken for 5 years! When he met someone else and she moved in, it felt like she she stole my life away from me. To me it felt like she was living with MY husband, living in MY home, taking care of MY daughter every other week. I was losing it. I regret that I let myself be heartbroken for all those years. I wasn't trying to move on at all. I was stuck on him. Since we broke up, I have earned a master's degree in English and Chinese and a teaching degree. I now speak Swedish fluently. I got a job in the top ranked highschool in the country. I have worked in England, Holland and Australia, and traveled through Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, vietnam, Bruma, Philippines just to name a few, surfing, diving snorkeling, dancing on the beach. I have fallen in love twice since then, but it hasn't worked out. If I hadn't survived the sucide attempt I would have missed out on all that. I watched a ted talk the other day with my students about a study done on Harvard students and why so many of them are depressed. Instead of being happy that they got accepted into that uni, they were focused on the negative, the stress, the competitiveness, etc. The results of the study is that very little of our happiness is due to external factors. Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work | Video on TED.com For many years, I wanted to die, I thought my life was over and I would never be happy again. I lost so many years believing that. With my most recent break up, I have all the same feelings. Panic attacks, can't sleep or eat. Terribly sad and missing him like mad. My knowledge doesn't mean that I won't get as heartbroken as I have in the past. But I do know my life isn't over. Life is amazing, there is so much to live for. It's not just one person. At my work, there are so many of my collegues that are married, but they look at my life and envy all that I have done. As soon as I get my heartbroken, I write a list of things I am going to accomplish for the year. For this break up: I will take singing lessons, go to the gym and have the perfect bikini bod before the summer and I will travel to Nepal. And don't say that you can't do it, that you don't have the time or resources. Teacher's have a very low salary in Sweden, and I have my daughter every other week. I live alone, and get no help from my family since they have finacial difficulties of their own. I have accomplished all this with the help of no one. My daughter's father is a good friend to me now. It doesn't hurt me one bit that him and his gf have a new born son. Good luck. Hang in there. We are here for you, but I do agree with the others. Get professional help. I have done that in the past and it does help some. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 (edited) If this is the case then would you want a future with a guy like this? that gives up on your relationship right from the beginning? Come on. Married people go trough alot more than this. Imagine when you have stress of kids and finances and time. All these things. His just going to give up? There's no point blaming yourself now. You should focus on how you can make yourself better! work on not losing your temper. Hey Amelie..sorry your feeling low. It is just a feeling. I know you can feel something else. I saw it the other day when i was joking around with you an science gal. Remember you asked if i was local? So if i ever make it to the UK where heading out for a night of fun! Our exs and all these feelings we have now will be ancient history. And ps you can punch me in the arm and slap me ONCE and ill just smile and laugh with you. Hang in there. Rock on! Cav Edited January 20, 2013 by cavalier99
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Home situation isn't great either. All my mother does is scream and shout at me. On Saturday telling me that it f-ing blew the relationship and I have no one to blame but myself. I guess she's right.
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