elizabeth88 Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Background info (quick summary): We've met four times, I feel like he's my soul mate, we've gone on two dinner dates, he was a little freaked I paid for one of the dinners, he told me he really liked me, that i'm the girl he's been waiting for, that i never had to pay for anything ever again (didn't know he meant cause he's never seeing me again! lol) and that all his friends love me and then after saying these things to me there were a few friendly texts here and there and then POOF! He ignores me. I texted him once asking him if he "was still working?" and called him once and he ignores both times. He always answers me so I know for sure he's ignoring me.I want him to give me an answer and not leave me in the dark. He's also been cheated on by his ex, she had another guy on the side for 3 months so I'm pretty sure he's got trust issues. He broke up with her in October. I know it's soon but he can at least tell me he's not ready to move on.... So.. i'm gonna send him this text "Hey you know up till today I've been trying to figure out what happened to us and why you're ignoring me. I don't think I've done anything to offend you, have I? It really hurts to be ignored especially by you. Personally the people I ignore are either so unimportant to me or they are absolutely so meaningless that I would never give them the time of day ever again so I'm just hoping for you to say something, anything, whether it be you're not interested, unavailable, busy, etc, whatever it is will be better than complete silence" I don't want to look desperate because I am not for him but just desperate for some closure. I hate being left there in the wind hanging... So is it desperate?
MrCastle Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 I think you can try to seek closure by just asking "hey what's been going on?" as opposed to the lengthy response you're thinking of sending. While it is sweet, and I do feel for you, something like that may send a man even further away from you. Perhaps he felt things were moving too fast and wanted to try and slow it down. If that's the case, something like that may push him further away. On the other hand, if things were going as great as you make it seem, and he just up and left; he has problems. Consider yourself lucky you found out while you still had a chance to get out.
Author elizabeth88 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 Oh I am certain he's got some problems but like I said I just want an answer, any answer....even if it's bad, it's better than being left with nothing. If he thought it was going to fast, he sure as hell isn't slowing it down, it has already ended. I knew that he was ignoring me when I sent a text asking him how his work was and a call but that's about it so I'm pretty sure I'm going to get ignored at "hey how's it going"
MrCastle Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Oh I am certain he's got some problems but like I said I just want an answer, any answer....even if it's bad, it's better than being left with nothing. If he thought it was going to fast, he sure as hell isn't slowing it down, it has already ended. I knew that he was ignoring me when I sent a text asking him how his work was and a call but that's about it so I'm pretty sure I'm going to get ignored at "hey how's it going" If you truly feel that way then have at it. Send him what you wrote. I agree you are more likely to get some sort of response from it.
veggirl Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Don't bother. It's been 4 dates, that's it....yes it looks super desperate and clingy to send that text not to mention if you even get a reply, your chances of him being up front and honest are about zero. Waste of time to send the what happened text
Lenora Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 If he wanted to talk to you he would have picked up or called back. You're probably better off. The things that he was saying to you sounded like an awful lot awfully fast.
chex Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Background info (quick summary): We've met four times, I feel like he's my soul mate, we've gone on two dinner dates, he was a little freaked I paid for one of the dinners, he told me he really liked me, that i'm the girl he's been waiting for, that i never had to pay for anything ever again (didn't know he meant cause he's never seeing me again! lol) and that all his friends love me and then after saying these things to me there were a few friendly texts here and there and then POOF! He ignores me. I texted him once asking him if he "was still working?" and called him once and he ignores both times. He always answers me so I know for sure he's ignoring me.I want him to give me an answer and not leave me in the dark. He's also been cheated on by his ex, she had another guy on the side for 3 months so I'm pretty sure he's got trust issues. He broke up with her in October. I know it's soon but he can at least tell me he's not ready to move on.... So.. i'm gonna send him this text "Hey you know up till today I've been trying to figure out what happened to us and why you're ignoring me. I don't think I've done anything to offend you, have I? It really hurts to be ignored especially by you. Personally the people I ignore are either so unimportant to me or they are absolutely so meaningless that I would never give them the time of day ever again so I'm just hoping for you to say something, anything, whether it be you're not interested, unavailable, busy, etc, whatever it is will be better than complete silence" I don't want to look desperate because I am not for him but just desperate for some closure. I hate being left there in the wind hanging... So is it desperate? Probably sounds desperate to someone who gets freaked by you paying for a dinner. 1
truth_seeker Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Personally the people I ignore are either so unimportant to me or they are absolutely so meaningless that I would never give them the time of day ever again You are upset that he is ignoring you, which I can understand, but you plan to tell him how you do the same to others. Umm, maybe this is karma kicking you in the ass?
FitChick Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 If you need to say something, how about "I'm disappointed that things didn't work out between us. I hope you find what you are looking for." That way you are leaving the door open just in case there was a misunderstanding while not sounding desperate.
tuxedo cat Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 i wouldn't text him again. the silence is all the answer you need. im sorry
skylark100 Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Don't send a long winded text like that. It's too much. I agree with the other poster, the silence is really telltale here. But if you want closure, something simple like ' hey you been sending mixed signals and I feel it's fair that you let me know where you are at'. Usually it gets me a response. You probably won't like the answer, but at least you can move on. Sorry, I know it sucks, been there myself.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Don't question just let him come back or let him go, I pushed my ex when I felt him pull away and I sent him a million texts like "omg whats wrong, are you ok, what did I do" etc etc.. He just pulled away further. My lesson was if he cares he will come around if not move on.. I wish I wouldn't have pushed because about 2 weeks later he dumped me.
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Silence and having all your communication efforts ignored was your closure. You know that! You're really just desperate to revive the connection you felt you had. Please don't send that lengthy text. Not only does it make you look embarrassingly clueless, clingy and desperate, but every adjective in there becomes a reflection of you relative to him..."absolutely so meaningless," "unimportant," etc. He's not all that awesome that you should grovel for any sign of life and demean yourself so. Gather up whatever dignity you have remaining and let him go. He's so not interested that he was willing to burn the bridge. And if he does come back at this point because you keep reaching out to him, it's to see whether you're so desperate and forgiving that he might get lucky...not because he values you as a potential relationship partner. Tons of fish in the sea. Find someone else. ((((HUGS))))
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