Nuna Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We met 2 years ago, a few months after I was getting out of a horribly abusive relationship. He was 22, I was 32, but no sight of the age difference ever came. It was perfect to be with each other, we had everything in common-music,arts,walks,films,travels, common friends etc etc etc We couldn't keep our hands off each other-until a couple of months ago- I was ecstatic. He could talk our problems, it was heaven. I was in doubt though. I was loving and caring and helpful and showed things to him and he showed things to me. But I also Couldn't trust him, got controlling and got jealous. Not over controlling-don't go there style-but controlling... Our first year was great, no major issues. We moved in together after 6 months. It wasn't that smooth, but it was our love nest. He decided to take a year off university and started working in a restaurant until quite late after 6 months, for about 8-9 months He did it because he wanted to stay with me- and change university, as he was failing the one he was attending when I met him. We started not to have much quality time for about 6 months. I was always wondering what he is doing (trust issues) and he was tired of it-of course-but he really tried. We managed to work it out when he stopped working in summer and then we've done some traveling and then he went away for one month. Then the beginning of the end started. I started having financial worries and couldn't cope with him being away. On top of this I had problems with a crazy situation at our place (invited a "friend" to stay with me until he was back as she needed a place to stay and she turned completely crazy) AND HE TOOK MY PASSPORT BY ACCIDENT WITH HIM, so our plans to be together for his last week away were vanished, as he sent the passport AND THE POST OFFICE LOST IT!!! Can you believe my luck? The first two weeks it wasn't that bad, but the last ones I was awful and he was too. Messy things started happening and we were both angry with each other and bitter. He finally got back. I could sense he was distant at first, but again we worked it out. We went traveling but had a few more fights. But I wasn't well... I started going down with depression as I suddenly didn't get much work and got arrears. I wanted to die. He went back to university in October. We had already 2 major fights, one really aggressive. We started fighting for nothing, but he was always still there for me. He tried to help me with my problems, but I was too down and I think that's when he started having second thoughts about us. He got easily fed up. We had another aggressive fight and he left for one week. It was my fault but he came back. At the end of December I was lost in my depression. I cause another fight and he didn't leave me. Instead of this, we went to his parents and friends for 10 days for Christmas and NYE. I was so happy he was still with me. But then it got reversed. He humiliated me for no reason in front of his friends. He said to me he doesn't want to be with me there. I begged him for one night, it was awful. He cried and said "Baby I love you, don't go"... Then we came back home. The same night we came back, he told me again it's over. I was shocked. I left our flat next day. I didn't beg but I had questions, I was angry and I was in pain. I didn't annoy him with calls, but had my sad moments of pain and reminded him why we loved each other. I saw him yesterday. He said he didn't love me anymore. We were never a team, I could never change, he doesn't want to live like this...He can't touch me cause it doesn't feel appropriate. He is moving out end of the month. I made too many mistakes. And now it's over and it really hurts. I can't believe it. Yes I had several problems and he left me in a very vulnerable time of my life. But I wasn't always like this....I wish I could ease this pain. I can't believe he said he doesn't love me anymore. He said it was nostalgia, not love when he asked me not to go... How can this pain go away.... Edited January 19, 2013 by Nuna
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