I feel so stupid

[fabi20]

I posted my story here two months ago after my bf of 2 years broke up with me due to ¨too much fighting¨ ït doesn´t flow¨ ï don´t need all these headaches in my life¨ ï think two years is enough to try.¨

 

When he broke up with me I knew we had been going through a lot of rough patches, and I especially felt him becoming more distant in the past month but I couldn´t seem to help the situation.

 

I felt like everything was my fault, in part bc I hadn´t introduced him to my mother in two years due to my moms and I´s relationship, but that´s another story...I spent two months blaming myself thinking I did everything wrong, blaming myself for every argument and every problem we had. It never once crossed my mind that he had actually met someone new...

 

I found out he met someone and has a girlfriend three days ago, I immediately felt like a fool, this whole time I had been apologizing to him time and time again bc I thought this was all on me! Because of the type of guy he is I never thought in a million years he would jump from one girl to the other! I´ve known him half of my life, we are both in our late twenties, and I´ve been his only LTR other than in highschool...he´s a man who prides himself in his morals and how he treats the person he´s in a relationship with.

 

What makes this worse is how he handled the break up. He hasn´t told me about this new girl, instead I had to find out from a mutual friend. He ignores any time I asked to meet up with him or talk on the phone, he avoids me like the plague, he just ditched me and now I think he´s getting serious with this new person.And here´s the kicker, he broke up with me on the phone. A week before the break up he was still saying I love you, but I felt like he was picking fights with me

 

I feel so betrayed, this man had bought a house and we were supposed to live in it this summer when it was ready, we talked about the future, even wedding details, and now I´m a ghost...I feel so stupid for thinking he would never leave me, especially for soemone else.

 

Now, I know I should forget about him, and I´m trying, but I feel like I pushed him to this new woman, it feels awful and I can´t help but want him back, a small part of me still holds hope even when I know we are done for

Edited January 19, 2013 by fabi20

[siris]

Truly sorry for what your dealing with. I think most of us always feel some guilt or we take the blame. Or we say to ourselves if only I would have done this or that. What if you did do those things then you would find something else that you didn't do in hopes that it would have changed the situation. I do feel that your taking too much blame; sorry but those of us that are hurt always put are mates on a pedestal. If there were problems with you and your mother I don't find this really to be a big deal. He is dating you and not your mother.You must take some of this energy that you are putting on him and redirect it back to yourself. If I'm in a relationship and things are not going right I want to fix the problem not run to the next person but that's just me. You stated that a small part of you is holding on to hope I feel you but at this time you must accept the present moment not live in the past or future. This moment is all you have. Sometime letting go is an act of greater power than defending or hanging on. Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be. I really think that if you take this situation that your dealing with now and see it from a different perspective it will be most helpful in the evolution of your consciousness. At this moment focus on you I know its difficult but that's all you have. Accept what is; the more we spend time with what if as opposed to what is you are putting yourself in a mental prison and hoping he has the key to unlocking your happiness. If there is only one thing you get out of this I hope its this "This Too Shall Pass."