LK30 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Well it's over 2 years being single and I don't feel any closer to finding 'the one.' I kinda have this philosophy that if I help people then good things will happen, and hopefully a girl will come along that will make me feel really happy. Even today I was at a petrol station and a lady asked for help as her petrol cap wouldn't undo in cold weather so I fixed it even though I am the least practical person today. I would say I'm a fairly popular person as I'm friendly, thoughtful and never put myself first. Luckily this is natural to me and I thought that these would be attractive qualities to a girl but nobody seems interested in me :-( I don't want to sound a bit crude but I've not even had any physical intimacy in a year and I've tried the 'bad boy' approach but two girls I hinted at have just basically bounced back my indirect hints. I'm no god, but didn't think I was that bad. Just feel like I'm everybody's friend. I admit I do feel quite lonely and want to feel loved. Please don't see this as a sob story as it's not, but sometimes it just helps to write it down. I don't want some sort of angelina jolie but just someone average even who I just click with and have feelings for. I've written in a previous post about a girl I was getting close to who's recently split from her husband but she's not really as interested as I thought, but I can't change who I am, and do you know what, I like who I am!!!
calipr80 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I commend you for your philosophy. And I think you are right on track. It is important to do good things for others, as good intentions will often come back to you ten-fold. HOWEVER, I think the key point is that you must do them with no intention of getting anything in return...because then are you truly doing them for selfless reasons, which ironically will then reap rewards for yourself. Make sense? Also, it is important to also move past your loneliness and learn that you can fulfill your own needs. I know that's easier said than done, but it's so important. They say that you will find someone when you stop looking and often when you least expect it. I have experienced this numerous times in my own life, and believe it to be true. People are also attracted to strong people...so you must become a strong person and learn to be a complete whole by yourself. If you do, I bet that special someone will come walking into your life. And by the way, you will be a much stronger person, and you will be able to bring that to your relationship. I recommend seeing a therapist to help you through your loneliness issues, and/or read several of the many books on that subject. Good luck!!!!
Author LK30 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks calipr80. You're right! Sometimes I make it too obvious I'm helping people as if I want thanks for it! Not that people do much in return anyway!! I'm not as lonely as I thought I was, but guess i miss a girl when I'm at home in the evenings watching TV as the things I miss most about relationships is just sitting watching a film and relaxing. Nice with my mates but not the same!! Did make me laugh when a girl at work who is now single but blanking me now told me a few weeks ago when she was a bit tipsy that she should marry me!
TaraMaiden Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Try being a bit aloof... occasionally, we don't realise it but we try too hard..... Don't be the life & soul of the party, but be someone people invite, because they know you make for good discussion.... That kind of thing....
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