Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 So my ex broke up with me. Not bitter about that, or maybe I am because she told me I was the one guy she has never felt so comfortable with. She told me she could be herself with me. Then the break up happens, I am not innocent in that. But I treated her with respect and did not beg her to come back. I only begged her to block on social media, she was reluctant but I pressured her to block me and then she turned really cold telling me she has no feelings for me. She has always been very shy and never posted pictures of herself and has always been very concerned about her privacy on FB. Then all of the sudden she starts posting pics of herself like there is no tomorrow and starts giving out her FB address to every man that wants to know it. The way the break up happened was that she started flirting with all these men right under my nose and I broke up with her and she told me she was just doing it to see how long I could take it. I asked for another chance and she still flirted with other men under my nose and then broke up with me. Is she trying to make me jealous or is she just a player? I can´t understand how one person who I thought i knew could be so deceiving.
CptSaveAho Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 attention whore.... should have stayed broken up with her the first time.... lesson learned
Author Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks. But I thought I was quite experienced. I have been in long term relationships, I am in my 40´s. I just, the things she said. I actually think I have been a victim of emotional abuse. Sorry for the self pity
Coping Vortex Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks. But I thought I was quite experienced. I have been in long term relationships, I am in my 40´s. I just, the things she said. I actually think I have been a victim of emotional abuse. Sorry for the self pity In the end mine was an attention whore too. Forget her you will never win with an attention whore. She flat out told me "men flirt with me when i go to a bar and I like it" There you go.
Author Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks for the advice. It really should not bother me but she was actually the first woman I fell in love with. That is why it is so hard. But I am gonna forget her. Been NC for 19 days, not planning on contacting her. But she is stalling sending me my things with mail. It should have arrived last week. Is she trying to break me and make me contact her? It is a very personal item which I can´t replace, it is one of a kind. So I have to have it back and she knows it. And we broke up about 2 months ago. Asked her to send it in the beginning of january and she said she would send it. But I can´t let myself hate her because I don´t want to feel that feeling.
siris Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Kryzcem, trust me I know the type of pain you are feeling. One thing that I have learned from Buddhism and no I'm not of the faith but pain is a part of life that comes and goes. (This too shall pass!) But also the origin of pain is some form of resistance to what is. What is in this case she is a seeker of attention; to me I see this as some form of low self esteem the attention is like a drug. While she is getting this she is riding high. I urge you to continue doing what you are maybe if you know someone who knows her you can ask them to get your things or just chalked it all up as a lost. Your dignity and self respect are worth more than any of those personnel things. This also makes me feel as if she is toying with you in some way by holding on to your things it is possible that she wants you to break nc or maybe she will call you. But in no way shape or form am I trying to give you some type of false hope. I think you should kill that thought. You stated that your in your 40's me too and that this woman is one of the first you ever really loved I think she knows this and feels that she has you wrapped around her finger. I and many others have been in this situation I'm in it now as a matter of fact. Again the value of your mind is worth more than this trust me. Surrender to what is! She has your things you may not get them back. But the more time you spend thinking about those things and her you but your self in a mental prison and guess what she has the key.Its possible she may return them but for now stay in the present moment. Also if you get a chance pick up any book from Eckhart Tolle or just put in a search for Eckhart Tolle Quotes.
Author Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks, I am in a mental prison but the thing is I don´t want her back even if I could. Because nobody deserves to be treated like she has treated me. I made her my number one priority at the time but I have to start thinking about me. She doesn´t deserve my attention.
steelpantherrocks Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 buddy, i literally went through the exact same thing, her and social media was a catalyst to the end of my 5 year engagement. as soon as we split i blocked her and everyone associated with her, but of course friends have to tell me what she posts. i contacted her and told her to knock it off with the party pics and have a bit of class. my ex is a attention whore to say the least, was banging a buddy days after we split. she started communicating with him about 3 weeks before we split so she knew what she was doing. now i hear that relationship is over and shes being a pin cushion around town.. its like they have no self respect or something. left me bitter now im scared to even look at fb sometimes in case theres pics of her as we have alot of mutual friends. wish shed move out of town.
Author Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 But was she acting that way before she met you? My ex told me she didn´t like those kind of girls, is her self esteem so low that she needs compliments from others to feel good about herself? It was such a shock learning this about her. I mean she was so concerned about her FB privacy. I don´t know. I am just in so much pain now but again it is none of my business what she does. Thanks for your reply
steelpantherrocks Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 kinda sorta i guess she was a bit on the premiscuous side id say, i didnt find out till later on but it def was on my mind alot. she had low self esteem, needed constant attention, hated me getting attention from other women, went through my phone facebook daily, meanwhile she had all these little secrets about herself. turns out my gut feeling was right. she had met another guy and persued him and got with him days after.. shes a trainwreck, partying, drinking sleeping around. kinda seen it comming i guess, hoped it wouldnt but everything happens for a reason.
Author Kryzcem Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 The thing with mine is that we were long distance, from different countries so I really don´t know anything from her background other than what she told me. She told me, men have treated her badly and she had trust issues. But with me she, she trusted me. Or so she said. I don´t know. The things she said to me, were the all lies? I´ll never know. But I am glad this happened, I think it will make me stronger.
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