Mrlonelyone Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 ...and retreat to the company of my books and calculations. It seems like sometimes my life is too complicated while I am single for me to date anyone. Sure their is my particular personality, identity and style...but people like me date all the time. Sure there is my living situation two old, sick, parents that I have to look out for. Then there are people who trip over what I study and what I teach. It just seems like I may never find anyone who's really able to handle all of that. To make it worse it seems my dear parents aren't supportive of my wanting to find someone to love. They seem distressed when I have a love interest and relieved when I have trouble with them. Can someone here give me an encouraging word or some advice?
Balzac Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) You're smart, articulate and desire a romantic connection. You have positives to bring to the table. Those reason justify staying in the game. Caretaking is a major task, often isolating. Challenges the health of the caretaker. My encouragement to you is to seek out a support group. Perhaps consider one through Alzheimer's Assoc. for caretakers. There you can meet others who are doing care taking. It's a start. Of course your parents want to think you're forever solo. Don't be sucked into that. Edited January 18, 2013 by Balzac What is your field of expertise?
monicaelise Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Here's what I would do... think of it is as a break, not giving up. Focus your energy on the other things in life that you know give you pleasure and just forget about it for a while. You know you've been loved/wanted before so, objectively speaking, there's no reason to think it won't happen again. You're still young enough that you can take a very long break if you want to and not have to worry about being too old to get back into the game down the road. I won't try to sell you the same old b.s. about all the other important, interesting, cool things in life, but I will remind you that there is more to life than just finding romantic love. The hunt is clearly causing you more pain than it's worth right now so, if for no other reason than that, leave it for a bit. People will still be there for this sort of thing when you're feeling better about the whole mess down the road. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 The hunt is clearly causing you more pain than it's worth right now so, if for no other reason than that, leave it for a bit. People will still be there for this sort of thing when you're feeling better about the whole mess down the road. This is probably the most true right now. The problem is all the game on my hunting ground is probably not what will nourish my needs. People hear where I work and think "What's your problem your around hot young college people who are single (as in unmarried) etc." Never stopping to consider that such people are, often unable handle what a life with me would mean. I am not 100% sure if the latest young lady just blocked me off or flead FB totally. I haven't heard back, but even in good times she would be slow to reply to everyone. Thing is this is the most mature brain I have encountered here, outside of faculty and grad students who are overwhelmingly married. Then I have to go and take care of my parents. Online dating was a total bust. There just seems to be no hope. As of right now unless someone or the other tracks me down and drags me into it I will not try to date for at least six months.
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