irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 INterestingly enough , I met this woman on OK Cupid, we have things in common in the outdoor, and rather similar careers. We at first started talking there, and then later added each other on Facebook. She had to add ME first, because she had her settings set so privately, that I could not find her. lol Anyhow, this was over the December month, so she mentions to in conversation, "Oh, by the way, I thought I'd let you know I've started seeing someone." I was like "Oh okay, good for you." I usually let time pass, because it's the holidays, maybe she was just hangin' out with him, but nothing serious. Come Jan, I had been seeing her signed in on OK cupid (in my favorites list), she's been active on the site quite a few times lately. I instant message he on FB and said, "Hey, I noticed you're on OK cupid again, I take it you're back on the market?" And shes says, "No, I'm still seeing that guy, and not seeing anyone else" Then I asked, "So why are you signing into OK cupid" HER story, "TO keep in touch with friends". Her FB status says, "In a relationship" but it's not linked to whom...and she says she doesn't believe in putting up pics with her and her new boyfriend together, says she's too private for that. I can smell a "cat fisher". Um, isn't that's what FB is for? I didn't want to dig any deeper with her "intentions" on the dating site, for further thought she might be offended at being "called out", but what gives here?
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I think that may be a possibility, but because I've been on Ok Cupid in the past and have pretty good experience with it as I used it regularly and hadn't used any other dating sites...I used to do a lot of journaling (blogging) on that website and therefore ended up writing and connecting with a lot of people on there...In fact, I didn't even go on OKC to date or to look to date. And many people are far away, it was a little bit like LoveShack instead people wouldn't pretend to be internet heroes so much since your face and information was public since you were actually identifiable (imagine that!...I miss that honestly, keeps the trolls out or people actually have to have some balls to say how they really feel with their pictures...at least a little, makes it more genuine and human and people did talk once they got comfortable with it in public). Anyway, you can meet people as "friends" on the website...I'm not sure If I would refer to some as completely platonic as in they wouldn't date you had you been closer but since like LS people are all over the world but nevertheless you do get to meet some interesting people, especially if you just meet because of something you read in their profile. Also if you have any IRL friends on there, you can check out people they are looking at or what not, as I think you need to be a member to view profiles...I forget. Is she really seeing someone? possible...I did know women on there that did kind of FB it and just keep in contact with different people, there was a community or people you'd meet there. If she's in a serious relationship then she'd likely have disabled it, I knew women that I knew over a period of time that would do that off and on, they'd be gone for a while then they'd come back, since women kinda disappear anyway once they get a man in their lives. I also knew people who were already married, or in long-term relationships there that were on the site just for fun, as a social networking thing...It was viable back then, not sure now as I haven't done it in ages, and I'd agree it had a good format and was a "fun" site, even if you're not even dating. So take that into consideration, however If she never really showed interest in you that's what kinda matters...If she liked you she'd make an effort to talk to you...but if she's minding her own business and on OKC just doing her own thing don't go out of your way to message her about it...instead just talk to her just to say hi through FB. It was a great website for me at the time, I met a lot of people and since I wasn't dating I was still able to meet some remarkable women and had a good time (I thought of it kind of like a dive bar without the alcohol), so I'd encourage people who use that website to just try and socialize a bit instead of going for the big home run for love...If you can make friends and talk to women, you're going to meet someone you really click with, without even trying. And IMO that's kinda of how I like things to work, I like surprises...in that way at least. What I'm getting at is don't stir the pot with women and be all inquisitive, work on other qualities and methods of communication, if she really likes you (romantically or platonic) she's going to get back to you...the problem that I noticed on dating sites is people took things too seriously and were afraid to relax and just talk to people, they tried to too hard to feel the person out and force any chemistry or connection...I wrote a lot about online dating before so I won't bore people with that.
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Many of these dating sites allow one to use them just for friendships which I find silly and against their intended purpose. Meh, the site , which is ironically named after an icon that represents "love and Valetines day", is only opening it up for options for OTHER than dating, just for marketing purposes. Basically, just to get more traffic to the site. There's this married woman I see on the site, constantly, and claims she's using it only to meet friends, and she told me her husband allows it. She claims she never meets men face to face...and I'm wondering if she even leaves the house to make REAL friends, very strange that a husband would even allow her on a dating site, guess he's whipped or something. LOL Anyhow,t he said woman I posted about still has "dating/ relationships" chosen, hasn't even made people aware of her seeing a guy , so she never updated to reflect that. 1
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 That's great that you're doing your thing with OK Cupid, but I have my other means of networking, I have a social life outside of OK cupid.lol. That's where my interest lie. I have no interest in building anything with anyone online only, not into the cyber pen pal thing. We either banter a few times back and forth, agree to meet somewhere and only THEN see where it goes. I think that may be a possibility, but because I've been on Ok Cupid in the past and have pretty good experience with it as I used it regularly and hadn't used any other dating sites...I used to do a lot of journaling (blogging) on that website and therefore ended up writing and connecting with a lot of people on there...In fact, I didn't even go on OKC to date or to look to date. And many people are far away, it was a little bit like LoveShack instead people wouldn't pretend to be internet heroes so much since your face and information was public since you were actually identifiable (imagine that!...I miss that honestly, keeps the trolls out or people actually have to have some balls to say how they really feel with their pictures...at least a little, makes it more genuine and human and people did talk once they got comfortable with it in public). Anyway, you can meet people as "friends" on the website...I'm not sure If I would refer to some as completely platonic as in they wouldn't date you had you been closer but since like LS people are all over the world but nevertheless you do get to meet some interesting people, especially if you just meet because of something you read in their profile. Also if you have any IRL friends on there, you can check out people they are looking at or what not, as I think you need to be a member to view profiles...I forget. Is she really seeing someone? possible...I did know women on there that did kind of FB it and just keep in contact with different people, there was a community or people you'd meet there. If she's in a serious relationship then she'd likely have disabled it, I knew women that I knew over a period of time that would do that off and on, they'd be gone for a while then they'd come back, since women kinda disappear anyway once they get a man in their lives. I also knew people who were already married, or in long-term relationships there that were on the site just for fun, as a social networking thing...It was viable back then, not sure now as I haven't done it in ages, and I'd agree it had a good format and was a "fun" site, even if you're not even dating. So take that into consideration, however If she never really showed interest in you that's what kinda matters...If she liked you she'd make an effort to talk to you...but if she's minding her own business and on OKC just doing her own thing don't go out of your way to message her about it...instead just talk to her just to say hi through FB. It was a great website for me at the time, I met a lot of people and since I wasn't dating I was still able to meet some remarkable women and had a good time (I thought of it kind of like a dive bar without the alcohol), so I'd encourage people who use that website to just try and socialize a bit instead of going for the big home run for love...If you can make friends and talk to women, you're going to meet someone you really click with, without even trying. And IMO that's kinda of how I like things to work, I like surprises...in that way at least. What I'm getting at is don't stir the pot with women and be all inquisitive, work on other qualities and methods of communication, if she really likes you (romantically or platonic) she's going to get back to you...the problem that I noticed on dating sites is people took things too seriously and were afraid to relax and just talk to people, they tried to too hard to feel the person out and force any chemistry or connection...I wrote a lot about online dating before so I won't bore people with that.
Imajerk17 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Maybe you got Monti Te'o-ed? (google it if you don't know what it is...)
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Maybe you got Monti Te'o-ed? (google it if you don't know what it is...) I Googled it, it turned up nothing, probably because it looks like gibberish.
Anela Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 There are people on there who chat and make friends, just as people do here. Been on there for years, and it's a social place for them.
StanMusial Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 There are people on there who chat and make friends, just as people do here. Been on there for years, and it's a social place for them. To be fair, there are plenty of places to chat and make friends. Hell you could walk around your neighborhood and do that. It is pretty obvious there is something else going on there. When I did POF I just steered clear from any profile that said "Looking for friends". I wouldn't go to the grocery store and try to buy floor mats for my car.
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Except this behavior many times is done by attractive women who just want followers. Right, it's more of a "guise" to getting attention, followers, chances are they'll never see them face to face.....ever.
Anela Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 To be fair, there are plenty of places to chat and make friends. Hell you could walk around your neighborhood and do that. It is pretty obvious there is something else going on there. When I did POF I just steered clear from any profile that said "Looking for friends". I wouldn't go to the grocery store and try to buy floor mats for my car. Except this behavior many times is done by attractive women who just want followers. a) I was on there looking for friends, too. b) There are men on there who have friends, too. Some of the women are in relationships, some of the men and women flirt, some have met up. They have message boards there, although they are no longer easily found. It's usually obvious when you look at the profile, from the length and the names included, that it's their place to blow off steam online. If they had friends here, you wouldn't expect them to ditch the place if you got together with them.
Keenly Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Translation : " I have self esteem issues and I need the ego boost."
StanMusial Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 a) I was on there looking for friends, too. b) There are men on there who have friends, too. Some of the women are in relationships, some of the men and women flirt, some have met up. They have message boards there, although they are no longer easily found. It's usually obvious when you look at the profile, from the length and the names included, that it's their place to blow off steam online. If they had friends here, you wouldn't expect them to ditch the place if you got together with them. Strictly platonic friends? Did you have a complete profile, with photos and everything? Why did you decide to go on a dating site to make friends? I'm genuinely curious because I just don't understand it.
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Strictly platonic friends? Did you have a complete profile, with photos and everything? Why did you decide to go on a dating site to make friends? I'm genuinely curious because I just don't understand it. Yeah, the concept is rather alien to me, too. Isn't that what social networking sites are for?
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