ErosOcean Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) So what, you say you think she's pretty, and she immediately packs up and goes home? What manual is this from? Women love hearing stuff like that! That's funny, can you imagine if she slapped you for saying she was pretty. Now I understand, what I say may sound like it's rehashed from a book. And I apologize if I sound pretentious but I'm not trying to be. As for the manual I spout from, it is from my experience and verifying with other guys who are actually successful with women. (Of course, when it comes to experiences in dating, there are no absolutes. Someone else can come in and break the concepts. Just my opinion.) However, here is why I say you should NEVER compliment a woman on how she looks. When you tell a woman, that you've just met, that she is beautiful. She will automatically switch you into the list of guys who put her on a pedestal. Unless you are a smooth talker, you can work your way through it. But as an amateur, who wants to land a chance of having her attracted to you. It's game over. Compliment her beauty if you just want to make her day and then move on without anything. Compliment her beauty if you want to pursue her for a good part of your life. It is true, women sometimes like being told they are beautiful. But that's because it's an ego boost, it doesn't mean they will like you. Edited January 19, 2013 by ErosOcean
GirlontheLam Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 So what, you say you think she's pretty, and she immediately packs up and goes home? What manual is this from? Women love hearing stuff like that! Leading with looks rarely works. It comes off as insincere. Personalized and specific compliments are way better and can easily imply that you think someone is attractive. There are cases where the loks comments work better, but it usually takes you knowing the person pretty well. Or them being in a fashion show.
ThaWholigan Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Sun Devil, it might help if you lightened up and worked on your ability to be spontaneous and "in the moment". Don't treat flirting like a science experiment or something logical. I agree with those who stated that flirting should come natural to you. While you should be mindful and respectful of boundaries and what's appropriate, at the same time you don't want to overthink flirting or "plan" it out ahead of time - because it's almost certain that your delivery will come across wrong and awkward. There's a ton of different ways to flirt, and everyone has his or her own way of doing it - which may work on some people of the opposite sex and not work on others. He will need intense coaching in this area. He is having the same problems I was having. Flirting doesn't come naturally to me, I had to persevere through many awkward moments in order to get good at it and it's only now starting to become second nature. I'm not very subtle either, I'm quite direct .
Mr_Flay Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Leading with looks rarely works. It comes off as insincere. Personalized and specific compliments are way better and can easily imply that you think someone is attractive. Insincere? That's all I know about a girl when I see her for the first time. Anything ELSE would be insincere. Well, I have very limited experience with women, but even from that I've seen that girls like to be told they're pretty. Especially if they're a bit insecure about their looks. ErosOcean, i don't think girls do "automatic switching" of guys into different categories. Maybe the very experience girls who receive lots of male attention on a daily basic, but certainly not normal girls. A "normal girl" would think, "He called me pretty. Does he maybe like me? :love:" Of course, only if there's a chance she might be attracted to you.
Imported Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 I will compliment her on how she choose to dress, if it merits a compliment. Get caught smelling her and smiling. Be next to her, near her or in sight of her when ever I can. Stand towards her and always pay attention to what she says and respond to it. I say her first name often, not her nick name, not her last name, not "hey you", not assume she knows I am addressing her and just start talking. I will say her name every chance I get. I will stand closer to her, within her "personal space" and see if she moves away. If she comes in my personal space, I am not moving away. I will move even closer. Really though, I show up or women see me enough times and they start getting attracted. I notice which ones, cherry pick and approach the one I want with no ambiguity about it. I can't shop at a store more than once too often too soon or some girl there thinks I like her and starts expecting me to approach. Sometimes when I go to a store to buy only katsup, I am not doing because of some girl there. Really, I like katsup and put it on everything. Ok, not everything, but lots of things.
GirlontheLam Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Insincere? That's all I know about a girl when I see her for the first time. Anything ELSE would be insincere. Well, I have very limited experience with women, but even from that I've seen that girls like to be told they're pretty. Especially if they're a bit insecure about their looks. ErosOcean, i don't think girls do "automatic switching" of guys into different categories. Maybe the very experience girls who receive lots of male attention on a daily basic, but certainly not normal girls. A "normal girl" would think, "He called me pretty. Does he maybe like me? :love:" Of course, only if there's a chance she might be attracted to you. Pretty falls in to meaningless land. Basically, for all I know you randomly tell all kinds of ladies they are pretty. Now being a bit more specific? Comes across as genuine. I.E. You're pretty or The color looks great on you, it brings out your eyes. Those earrings are really cool! You have a great smile.... The second set tells me you are paying attention to me directly. The first is just the same as the people strolling by saying "Good morning beautiful." So I generally switch the people who lead with "you are pretty" to those sending over innocuous complements, say thanks and keep on going. 1
Aslanbek Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 So what, you say you think she's pretty, and she immediately packs up and goes home? What manual is this from? Women love hearing stuff like that! They love hearing stuff like that IF the man saying it is someone they find attractive. If he's not, they'll just treat him like he's a creep.
IT Geek Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I have no clue how to flirt. Even if I did, I wouldn't have the nerve to.
jcrew11 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I have no clue how to flirt. Even if I did, I wouldn't have the nerve to. Have you ever been able to talk to a woman like your mother, sister or cousins without getting scared?
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Compliment her.Ask her questions about herself.Look into her eyes and listen when she's talking. Give her your undivided attention.Smile at her.Touch her, lightly at first. If she's cool with that, you can gradually increase the touching. Steps 1-4 -> Done. Step 5 -> After rejection, go back to Steps 1-4 and repeat anywhere from 1 to 200 times depending on level of good looks.
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