Why is my ex trying to indirectly hurt me/make me jealous?

[Loveandpeace14]

K so I dated this guy whom I've known for over a year(dated for 6 months officially then again for one(ugh). Our relationship was going very well and we had a strong connection, even before we dated. He was honestly the most perfect guy I've ever been with & he treated me like a princess. After the first couple months, I felt as if i loved him and really cared about him, and I knew he felt the same way because he told me he loved me a month before I even said it back, he even got afraid after, he thought he was never going to love again because even though in the past he was known as a player, I could tell that he has changed after he got dumped by a girl he loved and ever since then he really respected woman. He tried dating other girls before me but he didn't like them then apparently when he met me, he told me he has never felt this way about anyone and that I was the best thing to ever come into his life, it was scaring him how fast he was starting to like me more and more lol but I definitely felt the same way(he definitely treated me that way too, I've never had anyone treat me so well and put so much effort into our relationship, and apparently he didn't treated his exes as good as he treated me)

Anyways, our relationship was going perfect but then 5 months and a half after us being official, things started to change, he wasn't as nice, didn't want to talk very much or anything but at the same time, we did just start college so I didn't think much of it because of the work load, but then one day, I woke up to a text saying "it's over, don't text me again, bye", I was really hurt and I gave in and texted him asking him why and he was just being a complete ass telling me he wanted nothing to do with me, so after that I stopped talking to him. About a week or two later, he messaged me on Facebook (first time I was on facebook chat since we broke up) but after a couple minutes I just stopped talking because I was too upset but he tried again a couple days later. I tried talking to him as friend then out of the blue, he said "I love you", I was confused and didn't know what to say and I even cried that night(I wanted him back). A few weeks later, he messaged me saying he loved me and wanted me back and because I still loved him, I said yes.... What a bad idea. After almost a month, things just didn't feel right and we got into a huge fight, and it was done, and we haven't talked since and it's been almost a couple weeks now. At first I was very hurt so I texted him but then I finally gave up when he ignored all 4 of my messages, but now that I'm feeling better, and I've learned to block out my feelings for him, he seems to try to make me jealous or something, oh, he just started dating another girl that he JUST met after we broke up(updated his status with her name and a heart and all this stuff about how she is, but I knew it was directed to me because of the status that I posted just a minute before(wow make it obviously enough) buuut, it doesn't bother me at all that their dating. He also started saying really hurtful things about me to my friends knowing I would hear about it, and NONE of the things he is saying is true but it is REALLY bothering me because they were hurtful but I laughed at the same time because he also told some of them I tried begging him back for days even when I never even tried...

So my question is, why is he trying to indirectly hurt me, and make me jealous? He has moved on, and obviously i'm not trying at all to win him back. Yes I still love him but at this moment, I'm okay with not being with not being with him even if it does hurt/bother me sometimes because I'n realizing how much of a douche he really can be, plus we're only 18/19 so he's pretty immature when it comes to him being "on top". Is his ego just low because I didn't become the "crazy ex" who begs for him back or what? Haha.

Like I know it seems like I'm taking it really well but sometimes I really do miss him and it hurts but I'm trying to be as strong as possible by not contacting him at all, I'm an independent person so I don't really need him, but sometimes I feel like I'd do anything to be in his arms again, and it just bugs me that he won't stop talking about me even when he is with someone else, like one minute, he says he doesn't have as strong of feelings for me anymore then the next he says that he loves me and so on.. But I am ready to move on and work on myself and maybe we can be friends again one day but for right now, I guess I just gotta do what's best and stay away.

Edited January 18, 2013 by Loveandpeace14

[FailedFirstLove]

I think they do **** like that to confirm to themselves that they made the right choice to Dump you and that their better off without you. It also prevents them from wanting to come back and lose their ego over it. It's a selfish thing

[Loveandpeace14]

Ya, he was being very selfish, and knowing how he is, he probably thinks i've been crying over him lol I cried hard like once. Then after talking to my friends not too long ago tonight, they keep complaining about how he talks about me nonstop still and asks about me all the time, but never talks about his new girlfriend... Okay cool? What is that all about..

[FailedFirstLove]

Your a strong women!!! I wish I could do that. Would save me so much pain!

I'm a massive wreck

[Loveandpeace14]

I try. It hurt a lot but I've tried very hard to hold the tears in no matter how teary my eyes got, but just the one day, I cried for such a long time then realized it just wasn't worth it. I guess because he was my first love, I didn't really know how to feel, like it hurt so much but yet it made me numb. :/ I dunno.

FailedFirstLove, I hope you feel better soon. It is hard to move on but you will definitely find someone who is worth it, and will treat you like you're his world (:

[FailedFirstLove]

I try. It hurt a lot but I've tried very hard to hold the tears in no matter how teary my eyes got, but just the one day, I cried for such a long time then realized it just wasn't worth it. I guess because he was my first love, I didn't really know how to feel, like it hurt so much but yet it made me numb. :/ I dunno.

FailedFirstLove, I hope you feel better soon. It is hard to move on but you will definitely find someone who is worth it, and will treat you like you're his world (:

 

Thanks , I hope I get better too. It's sad cause he did me like I was his world... Up to the week he left. it was so suddenly really. left me hanging. I want to be numb as well. Anything to take Away the pain. It's getting worse

[Loveandpeace14]

Yup that's exactly how it was for me the first time we broke up, I thought my feelings for were always going to be strong, and that the pain would never go away because he meant the world to me, but you know what? It really does get easier. Go out and do all the things you love, try out new things and focus on yourself, it will make you feel a lot better. I'm still trying to cope with losing him and i do miss him, but after a while, it starts to bother you less.

[Loveandpeace14]

He sent me a text of a name of this song (No lie by denace) and I was curious what it was so I listened to it and it made me cry so hard, I don't know why he sent it to me or what it means.. Ugh I thought I was going to be okay but I miss him sooo much.

[FailedFirstLove]

He sent me a text of a name of this song (No lie by denace) and I was curious what it was so I listened to it and it made me cry so hard, I don't know why he sent it to me or what it means.. Ugh I thought I was going to be okay but I miss him sooo much.

 

Argh just when you were healing too... It's either he still misses you in a way OR wants to keep you thinking about him. He maybe scared that your moving on from him. Therefore keeping you on a string if he doesn't want reconciliation.

Time to start mourning again damn I hate things like that. Pushes me back down to te beginning. But take care!!

[Loveandpeace14]

Ugh men.. I don't know what to do. I'm guessing he still thinks about me if he's constantly talking about me right? I know I probably won't see him again for awhile (he had to go to a different province for college now until August because of the problem he wants to be in) but maybe it's best so it will be easier to get over him. He was everything I've ever wanted in a guy, he was the guy of my dreams.. Literally, before I even saw his face, I dreamt about him before we met in person, and he told me he has dreamt about me too. How crazy is that! I hope I meet a guy who will be better than my ex, or maybe when he comes back, we can meet up and talk, as mature adults and not how he has been handling things.

FailedFirstLove, I hope you are feeling okay love is hard but I know you will be fine and soon you will be very happy, maybe even meet a guy who will make you so much happier than your ex did. And who knows, your ex might even come back begging if you seem happier without him.

[Loveandpeace14]

OMG WHY WON'T HE GIVE UP ALREADY.. I swear he can sense when I'm beginning to be happy. He was talking to my friend and told her I was... Clingy, obsessed with him and he could get me to do anything he wanted even if we were together for 5 years, that we were never in love, making fun of my body parts, bunch of other things, and he laughed saying I was going to yell at him if I read what he was saying. What a joke, I was never like that, he was like one obsessed with me before we even started dating, he tried for months to get to me like him.. Like the things he's been saying bothers me but I'm strong enough not to give in and talk to him, at a point it bothered me so much but now I'm okay with it because I know i was not like that at all, and I knew that we loved each other so I don't know why he says we weren't, he made it very clear that we were.. But hey, some people these days are good at faking... Like why is he constantly talking about me if he's moved on, people who move on don't usually care about there exes and what they are doing.

[FailedFirstLove]

OMG WHY WON'T HE GIVE UP ALREADY.. I swear he can sense when I'm beginning to be happy. He was talking to my friend and told her I was... Clingy, obsessed with him and he could get me to do anything he wanted even if we were together for 5 years, that we were never in love, making fun of my body parts, bunch of other things, and he laughed saying I was going to yell at him if I read what he was saying. What a joke, I was never like that, he was like one obsessed with me before we even started dating, he tried for months to get to me like him.. Like the things he's been saying bothers me but I'm strong enough not to give in and talk to him, at a point it bothered me so much but now I'm okay with it because I know i was not like that at all, and I knew that we loved each other so I don't know why he says we weren't, he made it very clear that we were.. But hey, some people these days are good at faking... Like why is he constantly talking about me if he's moved on, people who move on don't usually care about there exes and what they are doing.

 

Yep his just messing with you. Most likely tryig to stop you from moving on. If a guy does that **** after breakup then he was an a**hole to begin with.

His just immature.

[Loveandpeace14]

Very immature. Like I really don't get why it's so bad if I move on, it's not like we're getting back together anytime soon, or even at all. He says he's moved on so why can't I. He shouldn't even care if he acts like he doesn't give a **** about me, and says its my fault we broke up but I have done nothing wrong, i was always there for him even when nobody else was(he had a rough childhood and went through alot in the last couple years). After the break up, he wasn't being mean but when I didn't bother to try and talk to him, he starts being an *******. I will never understand the male species....

[FailedFirstLove]

Very immature. Like I really don't get why it's so bad if I move on, it's not like we're getting back together anytime soon, or even at all. He says he's moved on so why can't I. He shouldn't even care if he acts like he doesn't give a **** about me, and says its my fault we broke up but I have done nothing wrong, i was always there for him even when nobody else was(he had a rough childhood and went through alot in the last couple years). After the break up, he wasn't being mean but when I didn't bother to try and talk to him, he starts being an *******. I will never understand the male species....

 

If he can find anything else then he wants you there right? He probably misses you but let's it out in the most stupid way possible. If you are sure, and you should be with the way his acting that you won't get back together again. Just move on. He will give up soon

[Loveandpeace14]

Yeah.. Like I don't even know if his new girlfriend even exists. He told my friend about her then a few days later, he posted that status with her name and my friend had no idea who it was because the name was different. Like he's the type of guy that can get with any girl but ever since we broke up, it seems that he's always home doing his homework and online chatting with my friends trying to get info about me. I wish he'd just admit that he misses me if he keeps on talking about me lol I don't know if he does but what guy is this obsessed with an ex that HE dumped. Sometimes I do really do wish we were still together or at least be friends and talk like we did because i do miss how things were but his immaturity is making it hard to ever be able to trust him again so maybe that's good haha, but we are young, it will take forever for him to realize how ridiculous he is being. I knew that he had somewhat ofcommitment issues because of his past relationships but it's not like I was asking him to give everything and marry me, like why try so hard to make someone fall for you because you love her first, then have no intentions of commiting to her. Sorry about my long answers, I've just been in a rant mood lately. Hehe. I've never been in this situation before because I've never loved anyone plus I'm only 18, so it's a little overwhelming because he was my everything, he meant the world to me. I wish he'd realize what we had. Sigh.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Loveandpeace14

[Loveandpeace14]

What the hell.. My ex already loves his new girlfriend? How can you love someone that you JUST met and barely know. As soon as I signed on msn, not even a minute later, he posted his status as I love you.. Trying to make me jealous again you think?

 

He needs to get over himself. Not even five minutes ago, he messaged me starting to beak me over and over again, and nothing he said bothered me. I can finally say, I am over him. He is too immature for me.

Edited January 21, 2013 by Loveandpeace14