whateveralready Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Sorry this is so long... We’ve known each other since we were kids…went through school together, lost touch, both got married and divorced (he has a kid) and met up again at a reunion. He called me 6 hours later and we started dating. Everything was fine for a while and then it all started going downhill. This is what has been going on for the past 18 months: He told me he loved me, and then he took it back and said he said it because it’s what he thought I wanted to hear. He had talked about the future and things we would do but it never happened. I never met his kid even though I asked a million times. He said yes to us meeting but again it never happened. He always denied that he was in a relationship to his kid even though she knew he was and told him so. I never re-met his family and friends either but they supposedly knew about me. He started disappearing (not retuning phone calls, text, emails, etc.) anywhere from a few days to two months. He will then get in contact with me; we talk and get together again. This has happened more times than I can count. Then he started lying. I found out that he is on a dating site even when he was with me…said he hadn’t been on it in along time and that he deleted the account (he didn’t). During his longest disappearing act (2 months) he met someone onthe dating site, started a relationship with her, gave her keys to his place (I never had keys) but she dumped him after 2 months. He called me after it happened, and because he “wanted to be honest” with me he told me about her and that he fell completely out of his mind in love with her but wouldn’t tell me what was so special about her. I completely freaked out. He said there was no way they were getting back together and I went back again 4 months ago. Things were going so incredibly well and I thought that maybe he finally understood what he had with me; He talked about us moving in together, getting married, having a baby etc., many times. I spent just about every night with him up until this past New Year’s Eve. He left me a message that he had his kid for NYE and NYD and I called him back, left a message flipping out because this is the 2nd year he’s blown me off for New Years. I didn’t hear from him until a few days ago after I left him a message that I wanted to get my stuff that was in his house. He called back and told me he was going to his mothers and that he is better off alone and that he still had feelings for the other woman. He told me he would stop over on his way back from his mothers and we would talk it out. He never showed up so I drove up to his place later at night because my gut instinct told me that he didn’t go to his mothers. I drove into the complex next to his so he wouldn’t see me but I could see his parking spaces and there was no car in either one. I had driven up there after NewYears but he was home alone. I then saw his car parked in this complex right across from his parking spots but out of view if you were by his building.I figure he did that in case I went up there. I had texted him asking him where he was and he replied that he was at his mother’s. I flipped out and texted him that I knew he was lying and that I knew he was home. He replied that this is the reason “we’re not together anymore”. I called him up but he had turned his phone off and I blasted him. I said things on the message in the heat of the moment that I regret now. Haven’t heard from him since. I don’t know if he’s with the other one (I don’t think so since she supposedly is back with her old ex). All I did was support (not financially) and love him. I just don’t understand why he lies and does what he does and why I keep taking him back. In my head I feel we've just broken up for good this time but I still love the guy, why I don’t know. Another thing is that he never drove to my house; I always had to go to his and he talked to his ex gfs a lot even though they were all married, saying they were still friends which bothered me. It seems like he's never satisfied with what he has. Obviously I don't trust him or what he says. Any insight as to why he’s such a liar a why I’m an idiot for putting up with it? **Crossposted***
Author whateveralready Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I would really love to hear what you all think about this...
road Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 whateveralready You ask W1 she will tell you they divorced because he cheated on her multiple times. He dated you. Kept you/GF2 at a distance because he had another, GF1. GF1 wanted him full time or GF3 was added to the schedule. Either way there were more women then he could fit into his schedule. You got dumped. Who knows, either GF1,3, dumped him so he had time to fill and got you/GF2 to fill it. His schedule got over filled again by one of them coming back, or GF4 came on to the scene so room had to be made so you got laid off again from your job as GF2 after OM had his fill of being laid by you. Another thing is OM is lying, is married, or has a full time GF. When they get suspicious he stops dogging around until they stop watching him closely. Either way when a BF keeps repeatedly blowing you off for New Years. every year that means there is Wife, live in GF that he has to take out on New Years. Any way was does OM lie? OM has to lie to date many women simultaneously. Why do you take this abuse? You look like you dress like the women that shop at WalMart, or have no self confidence/self worth and is desparate to share your life with a man. Which is something you can fix once you find a good IC.
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