Is my ex just trying to be friends or more?

[marigo]

This guy and i broke up about 9 months ago. He broke up with me because he was going away for deployment (he's in the military) and didn't want to deal with long distance relationship. We were together for 6 months. A few days later, i found out him and his ex were back together and that completely broke my heart. We haven't spoken since. They were together only 2 months and broke up again, i was told by a mutual friend. We still didn't talk after they broke up. A month after he broke it off with her (and 4 months broken up with me) he sent me a message. I was cold at first and still angry for what he did but i kept talking to him. I wanted an apology and that was the only reason i kept talking to him. He makes a lot of effort in keeping the conversation going. I would sometimes respond with okay and he would keep talking. I think now it's at that point where it's almost like i forgave him even if he hasnt apologized yet. I definitely haven't forgotten though. I'm waiting for him to come back from deployment to talk about everything.

 

Anyway, I'm just confused as to why he came back. He did mention it a few times that he talked to me again to remain friends but I don't know why i keep getting my hopes up. He even told me around Nov that he still didnt want to be in a relationship but i dont seem to get the hint. We talk twice a day (morning and night) and each time we would send messages to each other back and forth and because he can only use the computer for a limited time, it'll stop until he talks to me the next day. We've been talking for about 4 months now everyday. Is he really just trying to be friends or wants something more?

Edited January 18, 2013 by marigo

[Happypuppy]

Listen. I think it is perfectly ok to have contact with your ex regulary. But ONLY if you both agree on the terms. Wich you don't seem to do. You still hope for something there, while you don't know what he is thinking. I'd say you send him a message, something in the lines of:

"Hi. I have really enjoyed talking to you, but this friendship-thing isn't going to work out. I can't see you as just a friend, and thus it would be wrong to keep this up"

Then stop it. Don't reply to his messages no more. If he changes his mind he will come flat out and say it. Listen to a girl who has learned her lesson..

[marigo]

Listen. I think it is perfectly ok to have contact with your ex regulary. But ONLY if you both agree on the terms. Wich you don't seem to do. You still hope for something there, while you don't know what he is thinking. I'd say you send him a message, something in the lines of:

"Hi. I have really enjoyed talking to you, but this friendship-thing isn't going to work out. I can't see you as just a friend, and thus it would be wrong to keep this up"

Then stop it. Don't reply to his messages no more. If he changes his mind he will come flat out and say it. Listen to a girl who has learned her lesson..

 

Thanks for your advice! I definitely agree though. I need to stop talking to him completely. Its just so hard to do. Even though i dont want to be just friends with him, its almost like im accepting that just so he'll be in my life. Why is it so hard to fight myself?!