ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) Everything was going good guys, WAS going good. I deleted the ex off of my fb, a big move on my part as I thought this would definitely help and it has. I still have the usual "But I want her back :(" from time to time but tonight i'm afraid has been the worst by far. Day 22 of NC and i'm on a roll. Like, "Hey I think i'm moving on" roll. You know you feel like you are in limbo between moving on and staying in the false hope/early stage hell hole. Maybe it still is early....writing it out 22 days isn't that much actually lol. But back to the point, I deleted the ex off of my social sites, but I did not block...simply because of the fact I felt if she wanted to reconcile she could still send a message...a false hope mistake. But here it comes the breakup aaaalllll over again. She tags a whole bunch of her friends (we have a lot of mutual friends, hell some of my family are on her friends list) and I see "I'm great guys, I finally found him. I can't wait to be with him. I feel complete finally." Now let that sink in for a couple of seconds...still not even one month of NC...I still have some feelings/love....this was absolutely devastating for some reason. If you haven't had time to move on from an ex and you see them happily with someone else all I can say is you are a trooper because it isn't a sunshine and rainbow hello kitty yellow brick road adventure. I broke down...for about 2 hours and I had given up hope for awhile before this...I just don't know why it hurts so much now. But now it feels like not only the hope with being with the ex is gone...it feels hope with being with anybody ELSE is gone. A venting moment...there will be many to come probably. The worse part...I have myself to blame for not going the extra mile and blocking...now it feels i'm walking the green "heartbreak" mile. Edited January 18, 2013 by ActionJ623
na49 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I deleted the ex off of my social sites, but I did not block...simply because of the fact I felt if she wanted to reconcile she could still send a message...a false hope mistake. You're no NC beast because of this. BLOCK HER If she wants to reconcile and contact you that badly, she'll make another account. Text you. Have her friend text you. Use her friend's facebook or phone. Email. Pretty much, if she wants to talk to you. She'll find a way to tell you that she wants to talk to you. I could understand how much that would hurt. I haven't had to see that because I'm a NC beast but to think that someone who used to be so in love with us and think we were the greatest thing ever, can think someone else is the greatest thing ever and that someone else is "the one" just hurts. It hurts baaaaaaad. In a way this can help you if you let it. It should get rid of some of the false hope and the longer you go, the less and less false hope you should have. She obviously doesn't miss you. She's got her new knight in shining armor, and they'll live happily ever after. Even though they won't. Anyway, you know what you did wrong. I'm sorry you had to see it. but it just goes to show, checking up on them does NOTHING for us. 1
GingerVixen Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Block her and don't look back. I even deleted my Facebook account to get rid of ex boyfriend memories. Block her and don't look back. She'll be shocked when she finds out, or at least surprised. People are so black hearted nowadays that I would dare say she tagged a lot of your common friends in that message only for you to read it, as you had already deleted her . If she did that she's an attention whore. Block her and don't ever contact her. 1
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I can definitely see how this can make me stronger...and i'm a little bit happy that she finally found somebody that "cared". It's just a never ending roller coaster really and my stupid mistake set me back....I have to become a NC god it seems She is now blocked, and i'm NOT looking back...I cant afford to at this moment. But a splitting headache and a sense of emptiness is just the icing on the cake.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Make sure to take steps to prevent you from seeing ANY posts/updates of hers. If you gotta remove mutual friends in order to do that, then go ahead and do it, and tell those friends why you had to do it. If they wont' understand, they were never good friends to begin with. Then move on. It might be a good thing that you saw what you saw. The sooner the hopes are killed, the more likely it is that you will move on faster. Sure , it will be more painful and intense, but it's better than to keep holding on to hope (even without realizing it)... i think i am in this stage where I think I have given up hope, but subconsciously, I am still hoping he'd come back to me... I'd much rather know for sure that it's over, than stay in this limbo and feel guilty for not responding to his breadcrumb text...
na49 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Make sure to take steps to prevent you from seeing ANY posts/updates of hers. If you gotta remove mutual friends in order to do that, then go ahead and do it, and tell those friends why you had to do it. If they wont' understand, they were never good friends to begin with. This is also very important. Either remove the friends, or unsubscribe from their updates. I personally must have unsubscribed from about 20+ people's updates since blocking my ex. because if she likes something or comments something that they post, I won't see it but I'll see that there was supposed to be a comment there and I'll know it's her obviously and feel like crap. Also if they post an album and there's pictures of her, I'll see them. I already got burned early on seeing pictures of her at a Halloween party that WE were supposed to go to together 1
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I blocked mine off fb, but I still stop myself from Going on Facebook because I know that I will be tempted to sneak at his friends or unblock him. I sti get urges to check. It's weird how much I care and hurt over what his doing! Social media is useful at times. But it also makes life HELLL like now. And I keep laughing at your "I'm a NC beast" hahaha
LibbyListens Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 She tags a whole bunch of her friends (we have a lot of mutual friends, hell some of my family are on her friends list) and I see "I'm great guys, I finally found him. I can't wait to be with him. I feel complete finally." I call BS. She has rebounded or is just showing off because she knows you will find out directly or your mutual friends will tell you. Rebounding is more innocent, will never last, and is evidence she is hurting from the breakup. Showing off is vindictive and selfish. It could also be both, which is disgusting behavior. You'll be okay. 1
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I blocked mine off fb, but I still stop myself from Going on Facebook because I know that I will be tempted to sneak at his friends or unblock him. I sti get urges to check. It's weird how much I care and hurt over what his doing! Social media is useful at times. But it also makes life HELLL like now. And I keep laughing at your "I'm a NC beast" hahaha Yeah I just don't know why i didn't block her right off the bat as well, but back then idk I had such mad hope for a reconciliation but that's a dream...merely a crazy dream now. I agree with everybody really and I keep bashing myself for the mistake...a mistake not to be made again I might add. But it could always be worse...I also must thank you for complimenting me (and maybe being slightly jealous of ) on my NC beast thingy...I always had I way of cool sayings.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Hahaha lets see how long you can be the no contact beast for ok!!!! Before u start posting..."""URGES TO CONTACT" Haha 1
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Personally I thought the "Green Mile" movie reference was genius....but my NC beast level increases daily. Have you guys heard about that Manti Te'o Notre Dame football guy? I understand if your not from the states, but we'll be seeing him on here soon enough lol.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Personally I thought the "Green Mile" movie reference was genius....but my NC beast level increases daily. Have you guys heard about that Manti Te'o Notre Dame football guy? I understand if your not from the states, but we'll be seeing him on here soon enough lol. No idea who he is Lols! and definitely not from the states lol. Down under! mine isn't getting any better. How r u doing it? the urges r non stpp
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 No idea who he is Lols! and definitely not from the states lol. Down under! mine isn't getting any better. How r u doing it? the urges r non stpp Ah Australia...I wanted to visit there until the stories of spiders the size of my head and jelly-fish the size of my house started popping up and then...ya know. But i'm getting off topic...the urges? I expect those to last a looooong time. Even when I have fully let go I will always have questions like how she could just kick me out so easily like we were never together or if she ever thinks of me but maybe, just maybe all that doesn't matter and if I want to survive this period of unfortunate heartbreak then those questions and urges better get pushed to the side. Everyone says, "Oh work it out, and hang with friends and you'll be ok!" but what happens when I go out and I see a girl who reminds me JUST of my ex? Or when i'm working out and my work out music somehow reminds me of her? Or when the wind blows and I swear the wind whispered her name (don't judge it can get bad lol)? In my mind there is no straight way of escaping so I think its better to just admit yeah they are gonna be there a while but I think mainly time and willpower will do the trick. Admittedly, i'm a reader and getting into another world/state of being reading a series is nice...but everybody is different.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Ah Australia...I wanted to visit there until the stories of spiders the size of my head and jelly-fish the size of my house started popping up and then...ya know. But i'm getting off topic...the urges? I expect those to last a looooong time. Even when I have fully let go I will always have questions like how she could just kick me out so easily like we were never together or if she ever thinks of me but maybe, just maybe all that doesn't matter and if I want to survive this period of unfortunate heartbreak then those questions and urges better get pushed to the side. Everyone says, "Oh work it out, and hang with friends and you'll be ok!" but what happens when I go out and I see a girl who reminds me JUST of my ex? Or when i'm working out and my work out music somehow reminds me of her? Or when the wind blows and I swear the wind whispered her name (don't judge it can get bad lol)? In my mind there is no straight way of escaping so I think its better to just admit yeah they are gonna be there a while but I think mainly time and willpower will do the trick. Admittedly, i'm a reader and getting into another world/state of being reading a series is nice...but everybody is different. I wish this was just a sick nightmare! I'm even willinging to forget this whole thing just for it to go back to normal again. it's so screwed up! It really is!!!! How can my friends who get dumped move on in no time. And I'm stuck here like an emo. Everything is a reminder. Completely undrstand that and people tell me just stop thinking about it. impossible! Guys are so damn stubborn. And what's with liking freedom so much
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I wish this was just a sick nightmare! I'm even willinging to forget this whole thing just for it to go back to normal again. it's so screwed up! It really is!!!! How can my friends who get dumped move on in no time. And I'm stuck here like an emo. Everything is a reminder. Completely undrstand that and people tell me just stop thinking about it. impossible! Guys are so damn stubborn. And what's with liking freedom so much No doubt about it, it sucks. Plain and simple S.U.C.K.S. Sucks. I also have a group of interesting friends...they tend to be more of the joking type instead of the go to for relationship advice type. Whenever I ask them to stop talking about my ex, BOOM they will bring her up on purpose and rub it in. Douchebags yes, but they are my friends none the less and I feel sorry for them and say aaalllll the time they just haven't felt this kinda heartbreak foreal yet...and they will. "What are you Gandalf man?!?!? Just grow up!" They have the occasional one night stand maybe and fling but when they get serious and go through this they will remember me, and come to ME for advice. And hey maybe they will be joining LS lol. Everybody needs time to grieve so dont feel emo...and even if you think you are really going emo there's nothing wrong with it...just don't get stuck indefinitely in sadness and depression...i'm struggling with it now myself but my friends always make me laugh which is why we hang out even if they are haters. And guys liking freedom? Simple, I dont know if you know the term but...Y.O.L.O....you only live once and getting into a serious relationship early in life causes us guys to freak out...wait till he is about thirty then he will wondering where you went (to live a awesome life with a new guy of course! ).
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 No doubt about it, it sucks. Plain and simple S.U.C.K.S. Sucks. I also have a group of interesting friends...they tend to be more of the joking type instead of the go to for relationship advice type. Whenever I ask them to stop talking about my ex, BOOM they will bring her up on purpose and rub it in. Douchebags yes, but they are my friends none the less and I feel sorry for them and say aaalllll the time they just haven't felt this kinda heartbreak foreal yet...and they will. "What are you Gandalf man?!?!? Just grow up!" They have the occasional one night stand maybe and fling but when they get serious and go through this they will remember me, and come to ME for advice. And hey maybe they will be joining LS lol. Everybody needs time to grieve so dont feel emo...and even if you think you are really going emo there's nothing wrong with it...just don't get stuck indefinitely in sadness and depression...i'm struggling with it now myself but my friends always make me laugh which is why we hang out even if they are haters. And guys liking freedom? Simple, I dont know if you know the term but...Y.O.L.O....you only live once and getting into a serious relationship early in life causes us guys to freak out...wait till he is about thirty then he will wondering where you went (to live a awesome life with a new guy of course! ). Hahaha of course. And by that time I won't be looking back! thanks for the talk! I think I'll transform into a NC beast now! 1
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