Federalmuskrat Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 So this is kind of a long story, but bear with me. I am currently a junior in college and, last semester, I had a class with a girl who's two years older than me. I sat next to her cause she was gorgeous, and we ended up meeting every tuesday and thursday to study before class. We got along really well and she used to tell me about her problems. Well class ended and after the final, I only texted her once to tell her happy birthday. After break, which was about a month, I was out with a friend of mine walking when we ran into each other. She was really excited to see me and hugged me twice. She introduced me to her friends who apparently all knew about me already and seemed really excited to finally meet me. She brought us back to her house and we chilled for about an hour. The whole time she was giving tons of signs that she was interested. When I had to leave, she seemed really disappointed and told me to text her sometime. So that night basically blew my mind cause it seemed like the girl who I had been into for so long was actually interested in me. Two days later, I texted her and mentioned that we should meet up sometime like we used to do. She said that she wanted to, but when I asked her about what day, she gave me something along the lines of "I'll be too busy with work for the next couple of weeks but once I have time, I'll let you know." Since she works in the mailroom which closes at 4, I immediately took that as a standard rejection and got annoyed with her for leading me on so much. Her turning me down after making it so seemingly clear seriously confused me and my friends who I told, both guys and girls. I didn't let her know that it pissed me off, but we havent talked since then, which is about 4 days now. Until recently, I figured that I was done with her and that I was just gonna let her go. But it just occurred to me that she might be playing hard to get. I've never actually encountered this and I thought it was just something from movies until I did a little research online. The difference between how she acts in person and over texts is pretty huge. But how can I tell if she's just not interested? My question is should I be persistant and try again in a few weeks, this time maybe asking her to hang out in a group? Or should I just let her go?
SJC2008 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 That's where you blew it, son. Had a chance and didn't make a move. Possible but if a girl likes a guy she's not gonna next him for not making a move the first time theyr'e alone. OTOH, if she just wanted to f he did blow it.
Author Federalmuskrat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I guess I should have clarified that part. It wasn't just the two of us in her house, there were four of us in one room and the rest of the house was pretty full, so there wasn't really a chance to make a move. I would have stayed longer to see where things went, but a girl friend of mine had gotten in a fight at a different house. But if I did mess up, does that mean I should give up?
todreaminblue Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Don't give up.....its never over till you say its over......then you move on...you dotn want it to be over so don't let it be over.......group situations are good to be in because you have buffers against expectation.......its a more relaxed way to go and get to know someone....sounds like an idea....could be fun for both....best wishes....deb
SJC2008 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 So this is kind of a long story, but bear with me. I am currently a junior in college and, last semester, I had a class with a girl who's two years older than me. I sat next to her cause she was gorgeous, and we ended up meeting every tuesday and thursday to study before class. We got along really well and she used to tell me about her problems. Well class ended and after the final, I only texted her once to tell her happy birthday. After break, which was about a month, I was out with a friend of mine walking when we ran into each other. She was really excited to see me and hugged me twice. She introduced me to her friends who apparently all knew about me already and seemed really excited to finally meet me. She brought us back to her house and we chilled for about an hour. The whole time she was giving tons of signs that she was interested. When I had to leave, she seemed really disappointed and told me to text her sometime. So that night basically blew my mind cause it seemed like the girl who I had been into for so long was actually interested in me. Two days later, I texted her and mentioned that we should meet up sometime like we used to do. She said that she wanted to, but when I asked her about what day, she gave me something along the lines of "I'll be too busy with work for the next couple of weeks but once I have time, I'll let you know." Since she works in the mailroom which closes at 4, I immediately took that as a standard rejection and got annoyed with her for leading me on so much. Her turning me down after making it so seemingly clear seriously confused me and my friends who I told, both guys and girls. I didn't let her know that it pissed me off, but we havent talked since then, which is about 4 days now. Until recently, I figured that I was done with her and that I was just gonna let her go. But it just occurred to me that she might be playing hard to get. I've never actually encountered this and I thought it was just something from movies until I did a little research online. The difference between how she acts in person and over texts is pretty huge. But how can I tell if she's just not interested? My question is should I be persistant and try again in a few weeks, this time maybe asking her to hang out in a group? Or should I just let her go? 1st bold: She can talk to her gilfriends/family about her problems. If you want to shoot a b line to the friend zone, be a chicks emotional tampon! 2nd bold: Make a move! Not saying you should of tried to score but at least get a kiss, makeout. 3rd bold: Don't ask her when. Tell her "I'm free x day, lets go do x..." Then she can say yes or I'm busy sealing cracks in the hoover dam that day or whatever... 4th bold: She's not playing hard to get. You were either friend zoned before you had a chance or she had minimal interest and your lack of not making a move and overeagerness put you in the FZ for sure. If she was truly interested you'd still have a chance. Nothing you did was that big of a deal to push someone interested away. Live and lean, hope you feel better. 2
weee111 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Don't wait around for her, but it wouldn't hurt to ask again in a week or two...nothing to lose at this point. Ask her to do something specific on a specific day/time. She'll either say yes, offer a different day/time, or say something vague about maybe in a few weeks (which means no).
clia Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I think if you are interested in her, you should ask her out on a date and stop screwing around.
charlietheginger Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 From my past experience women who Play hard to get are not worth it after You got them. Examples ~ woman leads you then pulls Away over and over then leads you further Often use your emotions to mess with you She has problems seeks your advice. She throws In conversation about other men to make you Jealous. Then she acts bitchy then nice to you All these are tactics women use to play hard to Get. Most of the time a women reads the books "the rules" , "catch a man and keep him" "its not Him its you" and all the other dating bull **** books. The women playing hard to get looks at herself as A prize that needs to be won. The scenario is compared To "the hunt and chase" a man is supposed to be A brain dead caveman that likes to hunt and catch Things. The women is to play the rabbit hopping just Outta reach but still look catchable. The women will Often fade and reappear making the man glad She is back and resume the chase. Then after months Of being yo yoed around the women finally lets the Man catch her. A the man is so happy he will never leave Her. But often times this just makes guys that are educated About the hard to get game just play along have sex and leave 2
carhill Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Give it up, meaning your care. Definitely ask her out should a chance future meeting appear to be positive, like when she hugged you. Good luck.
truth_seeker Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 From my past experience women who Play hard to get are not worth it after You got them. Examples ~ woman leads you then pulls Away over and over then leads you further Often use your emotions to mess with you She has problems seeks your advice. She throws In conversation about other men to make you Jealous. Then she acts bitchy then nice to you All these are tactics women use to play hard to Get. Most of the time a women reads the books "the rules" , "catch a man and keep him" "its not Him its you" and all the other dating bull **** books. The women playing hard to get looks at herself as A prize that needs to be won. The scenario is compared To "the hunt and chase" a man is supposed to be A brain dead caveman that likes to hunt and catch Things. The women is to play the rabbit hopping just Outta reach but still look catchable. The women will Often fade and reappear making the man glad She is back and resume the chase. Then after months Of being yo yoed around the women finally lets the Man catch her. A the man is so happy he will never leave Her. But often times this just makes guys that are educated About the hard to get game just play along have sex and leave The women who play hard to get, in the end, get played if they let the guy catch them.
phineas Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) From my past experience women who Play hard to get are not worth it after You got them. Examples ~ woman leads you then pulls Away over and over then leads you further Often use your emotions to mess with you She has problems seeks your advice. She throws In conversation about other men to make you Jealous. Then she acts bitchy then nice to you All these are tactics women use to play hard to Get. Most of the time a women reads the books "the rules" , "catch a man and keep him" "its not Him its you" and all the other dating bull **** books. The women playing hard to get looks at herself as A prize that needs to be won. The scenario is compared To "the hunt and chase" a man is supposed to be A brain dead caveman that likes to hunt and catch Things. The women is to play the rabbit hopping just Outta reach but still look catchable. The women will Often fade and reappear making the man glad She is back and resume the chase. Then after months Of being yo yoed around the women finally lets the Man catch her. A the man is so happy he will never leave Her. But often times this just makes guys that are educated About the hard to get game just play along have sex and leave This post made a dim light go on inside my brain. Been hanging with a woman who showed a lot of interest for a few weeks & now backed off & i'm going "huh?" I started to chase a little, but managed to pull myself under control & going back to asking her to do something once a week. She canceled on my last min. the other night. Not a biggie she was going to come with me somewhere I was already going & said next time. I didn't let it bother me. I'll contact her next week. Blows my mind how a woman will do this for months. in the past i just stopped bothering. Now that i'm older I have more patients & other things to keep me busy so I can let women play the game. Women are no longer my priority. I just follow a few rules: Only call or text once a week to ask her to do something. I do not double call or text. When I extend an invite that is it until they respond. If they are into me, they will eventually start freaking because I've stopped texting or calling & think they went too far & text me. I ignore it because i'm a busy guy. Then the phone is blowing up like 4 hrs later. I LOL! The women who play hard to get, in the end, get played if they let the guy catch them. True. i'm guilty of banging a chick just because she played hard to get. HORRIBLY. She was a legend in her own mind. Petite, gigantic amazing breasts, beautiful. 10 YEARS AGO! LOL!. She was still living in the past. The breasts were still amazing but other than that she wasn't that special. I figured out every button to press to make her want me badly. However, some women do it because they were hurt in the past & have trust issues. They do it to keep a guy at arms length until they trust he just doesn't want sex. There is a difference between these women & those who think they are the prize. You can usually tell this after you've spent a little time with them. Edited January 18, 2013 by phineas
StanMusial Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I guess I should have clarified that part. It wasn't just the two of us in her house, there were four of us in one room and the rest of the house was pretty full, so there wasn't really a chance to make a move. I would have stayed longer to see where things went, but a girl friend of mine had gotten in a fight at a different house. But if I did mess up, does that mean I should give up? Do you have a lot of friends that are girls? I get the impression you are "the friend", not someone girls want to give sex to. In addition: It seems to me that "playing hard-to-get" as a dating technique is not really that prevalent these days. Attention spans are so much shorter and competition is so much fiercer. I could see an old-fashioned type girl maybe trying it but that is a dying breed.
ChatroomHero Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Blows my mind how a woman will do this for months. in the past i just stopped bothering. Now that i'm older I have more patients & other things to keep me busy so I can let women play the game. Women are no longer my priority. That's how you have to handle it. I still find it kind of funny that you'll see a lot of other posts on here where women say guys miss "obvious" signals. This poor guy will now question every "obvious" signal he is given. Someone else I think gave good advice. Give her a bit of time and don't dwell on her and then text her (or preferably call her) and ask her on a date and make it clear it is a date. I would try to show confidence because you are familiar enough with her and more "tell" her you want to go on a date with her and not so much ask- as in, "We need to go to XXX. You're off work at 4 that day right?".
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