Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 My single girl friends joke that they are never inviting me to a party again. All parties I go to end up having zero single men.
carhill Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Success is where preparation and opportunity meet. 1
xxoo Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 This is true. Thus my 40% theory. The problem is that getting "out there" comes at a cost. Time, energy, money. For people with good luck they need not invest much in order to come out ahead whereas someone with bad luck can go "all in" and lose it all. If getting out there means doing things that add value to your life anyway, there is no loss.
Green Light Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Success is where preparation and opportunity meet. *sigh* What if someone does not get many(or even any) opportunities?
Green Light Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 If getting out there means doing things that add value to your life anyway, there is no loss. This is true but I think that many people with bad luck/no luck are just spinning their wheels and wasting energy.
RogerWallace111 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 For certain types of people, being on a mission, or forcing it can work. I definitely have friends who, say they moved to a new town, and decided "I want to find a girlfriend here", would. Would it be the "perfect" girl or even a great match, likely not. But the types who can just go out and make that happen usually aren't as concerned with the exact match. For someone like me, though, luck does play a bigger role. I'm not enough of a "player" to just go out and make it happen whenever I feel. It takes the right girl to bring that side of me out. I have to find her cute as f*ck, and there needs to be some sort of "chemistry" in our immediate conversation. I'm just not naturally the type to try and actively game a girl into giving me her number if there's no initial vibe to work with, and I'm usually not outgoing enough that they come to me. Well not the ones I want anyway. The "luck" is just ending up around a person who strikes you as being your style, and truly worthwhile. And hopefully somewhere more socially accommodating than the street. I'd say I see maybe 2-3 girls a week who I look at, and based on physical appearance, style of dress, the way they carry themselves and their general "aura", I could see myself being really into. The problem is that 90% of the time it's just walking down the street, and though it would be awesome to just approach them, I rarely do. That needs to change though, because waiting on "luck" to place a girl like that at a party I'm at, or some more opportune setting, is sh*tty. Sorry for rambling. Thanks for the thread OP, made me realize I need to be at least a bit more active in my pursuits The luck thing is real but I don't feel like waiting...
Lonely Ronin Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Success is where preparation and opportunity meet. But what if they meet at an overpass instead of an intersection?
carhill Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 *sigh* What if someone does not get many(or even any) opportunities? Preaching to the choir, meaning my life example is the epitome of opportunities few and far between. IMO, that doesn't invalidate the assertion, as one has choices with regard to opportunities. IME, once the consuming passion for the dance of reproduction has passed, 'luck' can be viewed in a more dispassionate and analytical fashion. It's far easier to see the choices made and the effect on both preparation and opportunity than when in the milieu. Some people are 'luckier' than others genetically, but IMO we're all lucky to be alive, as each day brings new choices, new paths of preparation and new opportunities. Romance may be amongst them. One never knows.
IT Geek Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Anyone else feel like finding love is mostly dependent on luck? Sure things like looks, personality, money, social status, etc. play a role in attraction but some days I feel like luck is the ultimate variable. Luck is the difference between walking past your dream mate and bumping into them. Luck is about being at the right place (physically and emotionally) at the right time. And being blessed by not having the ugly gene.
KungFuJoe Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Hmmmmm. I've never believed in luck personally........ I believe in hard work. Earning what you want. Fighting for what you strive to achieve. And always believing in yourself, no matter what. But even I can't deny the powerful force that luck is.
Green Light Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I believe in hard work. Earning what you want. Fighting for what you strive to achieve. And always believing in yourself, no matter what. But even I can't deny the powerful force that luck is. Hard work without luck is an empty experience. I know plenty of people who work really hard and get nowhere. And I know the whole "work smarter" thing but even that doesn't matter. Work without luck = just work. Life does require some action. Even the person who hits big at the casino still had to go to the casino but for every one person who went there and hit big there are one hundred who went there and broke even or lost money. And life is like that. the odds are better and I believe that many people actually have more good luck than bad and that is why they can't understand it when someone says "I have no luck, I have no opportunities" because they have always had those things. They can't imagine what it's like not to have more than one good option to choose from at any time.
iris219 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I absolutely think much of finding love is luck. If you made a list of the criteria one should have to be successful in relationships, I could check off pretty much every one of these. I could also check off all the criteria you need to attract a mate. What I haven’t had is luck in meeting people. I’d say luck is around 80% of finding someone, for me at least. My luck is so bad that it’s been necessary for me to have a lot to offer. If I was any less awesome , I would never have been on a date, ever. Some people just have really bad luck.
Woggle Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It is luck. If I never ran into my wife that day at the boardwalk I would probably still be single. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 My luck is so bad that it’s been necessary for me to have a lot to offer. If I was any less awesome , I would never have been on a date, ever. Some people just have really bad luck. I feel you on this, my luck is so bad, if I didn't have bad luck I would have none at all. Just last night.... o well.
iris219 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I feel you on this, my luck is so bad, if I didn't have bad luck I would have none at all. Just last night.... o well. Right there with you, LR. This is actually something I’ve been annoyed about for awhile now. In order to get a date or two a year, I’ve had to be pretty, thin, successful, smart, funny, kind, interesting, etc., etc. I see women with A LOT less to offer and they do fine with dating. They have better luck. Therefore, they don’t have to be able to have an intelligent conversation. They don’t have to be super fun and pleasant to be around. They don’t have to have a flat stomach and a Master’s degree. I do. I don’t have options like they do. I have to be nearly perfect to get a date with an average guy. What happened last night? PM me when you get a chance.
KungFuJoe Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 For me, it's been MOSTLY luck. Luck that my wife was hanging around the gym as I was getting done with basketball practice and happened to see her and "hung around" for bit. She saw me, offered me some of her jelly beans (Jelly Belly) and that was the first time we met. Luck that even though I graduated high school without ever knowing her name, I was infatuated enough with her to where I pointed her out, in the yearbook, to my best friend. Luck that, 4 years after graduating, that same best friend spotted her at a local Bally's we used to go and only did so because he happened to go at a different time than his usual, only remembering who she was because I would talk endlessly about her back in high school. LUCK that the FIRST time I go to the same gym (hoping, against all odds, that she would just happen to be back the next day at the exact same time) that she happens to walk in and we meet again for the first time since high school. I make sure to get her name this time. The story actually goes a bit further than that, but when I think about how easily I could have just missed her...if I had left the gym a few minutes earlier that day or didn't think to hang around...if my friend didn't go to the gym at a different time than usual...if I didn't think of trying to spot her the next day...how insanely lucky I had to be all those times to finally catch up to her...it's mind boggling. I don't like to believe in fate...but sometimes...I do. 2
TheZebra Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 For me, it's been MOSTLY luck. Luck that my wife was hanging around the gym as I was getting done with basketball practice and happened to see her and "hung around" for bit. She saw me, offered me some of her jelly beans (Jelly Belly) and that was the first time we met. Luck that even though I graduated high school without ever knowing her name, I was infatuated enough with her to where I pointed her out, in the yearbook, to my best friend. Luck that, 4 years after graduating, that same best friend spotted her at a local Bally's we used to go and only did so because he happened to go at a different time than his usual, only remembering who she was because I would talk endlessly about her back in high school. LUCK that the FIRST time I go to the same gym (hoping, against all odds, that she would just happen to be back the next day at the exact same time) that she happens to walk in and we meet again for the first time since high school. I make sure to get her name this time. The story actually goes a bit further than that, but when I think about how easily I could have just missed her...if I had left the gym a few minutes earlier that day or didn't think to hang around...if my friend didn't go to the gym at a different time than usual...if I didn't think of trying to spot her the next day...how insanely lucky I had to be all those times to finally catch up to her...it's mind boggling. I don't like to believe in fate...but sometimes...I do. That's awesome! I had a similar turn of events that led me to meet my ex... Waaay back in middle school, I was going to sign up for spanish class. My friends talked me out of it to learn french with them instead. I laid down to peer pressure and took the class. For high school I transferred to a different school. Because of the french class I had taken, they put me in French 2 in high school. On my first day I took a seat by the door. My (now) best friend sat next to me. There was a fire alarm and since we had to stand in line next to each other we started talking and became friends. Cut to college. I'm bored sitting in my dorm and my best friend tells me about this event that talks about a few clubs. I go with her. There my ex was presenting info on the club and passing around sign-up sheets. I thought the club sounded SO boring, but signed up because she did. My best friend convinces me to stay in the club (which was debate oriented) to keep her company. She even convinces me to join her team. I join and our team does really well, getting 2nd place, which wasn't good enough for regionals. I was a little upset, but whatever. Then I find out that 2 other people from our team got picked to go to regionals, but I didn't! I was so crushed/jealous, I emailed my ex (the club president) to talk to him about it. We met up, started talking, and the rest was history. If I had never taken french, or sat at that exact seat, or transferred to my high school, or been doing nothing when my bf called me up in college, or if our team had won I would've never met him, much less gotten aggravated enough for not making the team to go talk to him. A LOT of stars lined up for that to have happened. Heck, if our team had made regionals I would've never gone to talk to him one-on-one and made that connection. That's why I never get too upset when a downturn happens because I know something good will come from it. The night is always darkest before dawn... 1
Author TouchedByViolet Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 One of my very good friends now (who I was in his wedding party last year) met in an elevator when we both went to see the same movie alone. Walking out of the theater we both happened to get into the same elevator started talking, exchanged numbers and Bam! 3+ years later we are still good friends. Crazy
KungFuJoe Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 That's awesome! I had a similar turn of events that led me to meet my ex... Waaay back in middle school, I was going to sign up for spanish class. My friends talked me out of it to learn french with them instead. I laid down to peer pressure and took the class. For high school I transferred to a different school. Because of the french class I had taken, they put me in French 2 in high school. On my first day I took a seat by the door. My (now) best friend sat next to me. There was a fire alarm and since we had to stand in line next to each other we started talking and became friends. Cut to college. I'm bored sitting in my dorm and my best friend tells me about this event that talks about a few clubs. I go with her. There my ex was presenting info on the club and passing around sign-up sheets. I thought the club sounded SO boring, but signed up because she did. My best friend convinces me to stay in the club (which was debate oriented) to keep her company. She even convinces me to join her team. I join and our team does really well, getting 2nd place, which wasn't good enough for regionals. I was a little upset, but whatever. Then I find out that 2 other people from our team got picked to go to regionals, but I didn't! I was so crushed/jealous, I emailed my ex (the club president) to talk to him about it. We met up, started talking, and the rest was history. If I had never taken french, or sat at that exact seat, or transferred to my high school, or been doing nothing when my bf called me up in college, or if our team had won I would've never met him, much less gotten aggravated enough for not making the team to go talk to him. A LOT of stars lined up for that to have happened. Heck, if our team had made regionals I would've never gone to talk to him one-on-one and made that connection. That's why I never get too upset when a downturn happens because I know something good will come from it. The night is always darkest before dawn... If you don't mind me asking...how did he become your ex?
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