beenburned Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 My D's divorce is in the final stages, settlement papers are signed, just waiting for the final court date near the first of February. She called today and said she is reconsidering the name change. She discussed it with her D, and the D was fine with it. At first she wanted to keep the same last name as her D. But 2 years have passed by with her STBXH getting worse, and more info being revealed about just how bad the extent of his mistreatment of her was during their marriage. She doesn't want to be associated with him or his name anymore. What do other divorced people think about this?
jlindemann Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I'm keeping my married name. I really don't want to have anything to do with him, but I really don't want a different last name than my kids. And to be quite honest, it's the name ive had for the past 10 years, and it seems like too much of a hassle to change now.
amaysngrace Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I did the same thing as posted above. I kept his last name because it is my kids last name. He protested and wanted me to go back to my maiden name and I told him that'd be fine as long as he'd agree that we change the kids last name to my maiden name too. He shut up about it after that. Even my dog has his last name.
Gunny376 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I'm keeping mine! I've had it since before I was married, and the day I was born, and don't see any reason to change it now! 1
jlindemann Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I've heard it's harder to change your name after the divorce if it's not in the decree. So if she's even considering it, have a clause in the decree that states that she is free to change back to her maiden name at any time she chooses. I think I'll do that, just in case I ever reconsider and want to go back to my maiden name. 1
Steen719 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I was married for over 22 years and I kept my name because of my son. I wish I had not done so. I wish I had my maiden name, but I would have to go though the mess of doing. I should have done it in the divorce. My son asked me later why I didn't do it and I said well, so I could have, but thought to keep it so you and I would have the same name. He said I should have changed it and he had thought about changing his to my maiden name. I was surprised, but don't think he would do it. He just doesn't have much respect for his father right now. It would really hurt his dad, so I didn't encourage it. He is the only male lastname out of the three boys in the family-H and 2 brothers.
2sure Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 It is nice to have the same last name as your child . It isn't necessary at all, simply convenient for others. I understand she wants to disassociate from him completely, but you know...her daughter has the same last name...can't change that. Unless of course it has too many letters. Then change it . Think of the time saved not spelling it out.
Author beenburned Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks for all the suggestions! I have talked to some other family members and friends about this. My D has no intentions of getting remarried any time soon. So she feels she would be happier with her maiden name. Again, her D who is 10, has no problem with it. We all still live in the same community that my kids were raised in, so half the time her friends call her by her maiden name anyway!
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