love84 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I have known this man for nearly five years, the first three we were only friends and we have been dating for the past two years. The first year was very slow for us, meeting for dinner, movie, we started sleeping together after 3 months of dating. We never spoke about where our relationship was headed until we started to get closer and I guess I was expecting more and acting upon it. He took a step back and told me to chill and slow down and I have. Time went by and it happened again under similar circumstances. The same thing happen...he took a step back ignored me for a while, then we started talking again.....once we didnt speak for nearly 5 months after a fight. I was almost getting over him when he entered my life again, I did think twice but I guess I wasnt as smart because we started seeing each other again. For 6 months things were perfect, we were spending time together, talking every day etc. I was never bored with him and he always made me smile. Just when I thought things were perfect, I have to admit it was after a little disagreement we had, he sits me down and tells me we both take this relationship differentely and that he doesnt feel the same kind of love I feel for him. He also told me doesnt want to be responsible for my heart. He also told me he wants me in his life and nothing between us has changed, it's just what I have in mind after what I heard that's negative. The things I probably didnt want to see, he said out loud. I cried, it's been 4 days actually and I still feel awfull. He didnt leave me but I realized our feelings werent mutual and now I dont know what to do. I dont want to loose him because he means the world to me but at the same time I dont want to keep going through this merry go round. Does he not care about me at all??? I would swear he does because when we are together he is amazing. Is it the case when he want the benefits of relationship without the responsibilities of one?
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 There's really no rollercoaster....he's just not in love w you and never will be. The only rollercoaster is your emotions because you hope and expect more, but take a look around LS, its very common because in general women get attached and develop strong emotions...the men however just string you along until something better comes along. Sometimes they get comfortable and give into a relationship or marriage because of ultimatums or kids but they'll never truly be happy and satisfied w you, some people just like to try and force things and eventually the woman will realize she's been fighting for nothing the entire time...it was for nothing, but you get over it eventually even though its tough for a while, depending on your love life and other factors...some people insist on holding on for many years. At the end of the day you'll have to accept the truth, or hell do this as long as its convenient until he's done w you...the sooner you realize that the faster you can move on. 1
73Rach Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I am in the same type of relationship. He says he cares about me but he isn't in love anymore. It sounds like your man isn't sure what he wants. My relationship has been on and off for 2 years now we are engaged and I don't think he wants to be with me anymore. Honestly it's going to be really hard but let him go because things aren't going to change. Once he starts doing this on and off again thing he will keep doing it because he will get use to it. I wish I could use my words I'm telling you and get up and leave but I am so in love I just keep thinking he will fall in love with me again. But I think if you get out of this you will be dodging a bullet. Best of luck to you. I know it's hard.
Author love84 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 73Rach: Hi, thank you for your reply. Would you want to email with me?
Leegh Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It is hell going through the feelings of "He loves me, he loves me not". I would ask him to make a decision (maybe three months to make the decision), to be in a committed relationship with you or not. If yes, great, if not, then you can move on emotionally. Good Luck
73Rach Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Love84: I would like to email back and forth maybe we could help each other out a little what is your email ?
Author love84 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Leegh: that is something I never thought about, thank you for the idea
Recommended Posts