Skalabanan Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Hey All, Just checked the last time I visited this site was the 4th September, I told myself at the time that I needed to stop visiting here as it put my in a vicious cycle of constantly looking for answers that in reality only I could find. I'm going to cut everything short, as If I told you the last 4-6 months events then I'd be here writing for weeks. To say it's been eventful and traumatic would be an understatement. Timeline - Broke up 19th June, she wanted space but never wrote us off completely. - Agreed to go NC to give us some space probably more importantly for me. - We had LC for around 6 weeks, in that time she instigated every single piece of dialogue we had. - After about 10 weeks she started asking me to meals and invited me around her house a few times, it was a very dodgy time as my intentions of reconciliation were clear but she was still unsure. - One night after about 12 weeks I received the text you all want to hear "I love you so much, can we give it another go" - In these 12 weeks apart my girlfriend had led the party life and unfortunately acquired some very unsavory friends. - Neither of us kissed or did anything with anyone else during our break, both agreed that if we did we probably wouldn't get back together, both have very high morals in that regard. - In our time apart I worked on myself a lot, I got in shape, got back in touch with friends, went Vegas and a few other places and started to feel good about being me and happy with just me. - When I got back with my ex the old me resurfaced, I became solely dependent on her, revolving my weekends and time around her. - She continued to go out partying and truth be known showed little regard for our reconciliation (least that's how it appeared). - I got agitated about how much she cared for me and how much she wanted this relationship and if we wanted the same things. - Spent Christmas together for the first time. - New years she decides to go out with friends and had very little to no dialogue with me throughout the night. - I fume, give her what for on new years day. - We both consider ending it on new years day. - Decide to start from scratch and just enjoy our time together and build it back up. I really am missing large chunks out of our story but there's so many intricate details I'd be here forever. The large and short of it is that I care more for her at present and will bend over backwards, this isn't reciprocated. My Advice - Work on yourself, if they come back for you continue to work on yourself, don't fall back into bad habits no matter how easy it appears to be. - Treat it like a completely new relationship, don't drag the past and resentment into the new one, if you can't do that then don't get back together. - Take things slow, you'll want to go 100mph but it will crumble around your ears if you do, you both have broken hearts that need mending, the fast track to this doesn't exist. - Communicate, don't hold onto your worries and fears, talk to each other about them and work together to fix them. - At times you will question why your bothering (like I am at present), but try not to let your current mood take over on your views of the relationship, one day you might have to end it but don't base that on what to outside people would be little things. - Things will never go how you expect them too, so don't try to map out your futures (just yet), try not to second guess how she'll act, let it go naturally. My biggest advice of all is that second chances are HARD and by and large will struggle to be successful, me and my partner are not in a position right now to make this successful immediately but over time we might be, but chances are we might not. Stay positive, look after you, live your life. Any questions I'm all ears.
CreepShow Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Thanks for sharing, I think one of the main things to take from this is that 2nd chances arent impossible to get, its that they are HARD to make work. You NEED to improve yourself and make a change, or you will end up with the same old result.
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