andytenshi Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It's been about a month since the friend I had been getting close with suddenly called it off and said not only that it wouldn't work, but that she felt uncomfortable around me and wanted no contact. after initially resisting and pushing for answers and a resolution that never really came with her responses I gave up and accepted the N/C even though I still felt like something needed to be said "although I wasn't sure what" After thinking over the whole incident; her telling me nothing should happen between us, her explanation as to why, and my defensive response which began the N/C and even something I had overheard her saying about me to another coworker about one of my texts I had an epiphany as to what I think was causing her increasing aversion to being around me. I decided what she had done was not malicious or deceitful. It just wasn't going to work out. given the situation she was in with her ex etc. I knew the whole time it probably wouldn't work, but I held on to some hope, but let that hope grow out of control. and when reality finally struck I took it too hard, and I needed to apologize for how I reacted. So I sat down last night, made a list of everything I wanted to say, went over it in my head and mustered up the courage to confront her and make my peace. I did just at as I was leaving work today. Walking up to her was actually a little easier than I had feared because I had to interact with her a bit earlier because of work and she was surprisingly more friendly than she had been and even made a little small talk herself "first time in a month she voluntarily talked to me". so I walked up and asked do you have a minute? she said yes and so I slowly, but surely let it out. I said I felt that I overreacted when she said things wouldn't work, and when she tried to explain to me why I just made excuses for my behavior to which she agreed I had been making excuses. I told her after having time to think about it. I think she made the right call, calling things off before we got too messy "we had become very close to sleeping together as FWB.." and that we were letting desire get the best of us and not discussing our "relationship" enough. to which she also agreed. she then said she forgave me, and she also felt bad for what happened. she said she really wanted to want.. she was hoping feelings for me would show up, but they didn't and she felt bad for leading me on. she said she had done that before with other guy friends, but actually did sleep with them and it always ruined the friendship, so she was glad to realized what she was doing, but still felt bad. I told her that I wasn't upset about that. she had been mostly honest with her feelings and intentions and I don't think she was purposely trying to screw me over. So, I made my peace. she accepted my apology, I accepted hers and I feel much better now. I am still a bit sad that she doesn't have romantic feelings for me but I took the first step towards us being on good terms again.
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