I need to get my wife back

[freddie22]

My wife and I have been married for nearly 10 years. She is trying hard to get a divorce from me before our 10th anniversary (or so she says). About 4 months ago she found herself another man and now she says she is in love with him and that she wants a divorce so that she can go with him. She also told me that she met another man in the summer of 2012, fell in love but broke up the relationship when her mother told her to think of her children first, but that this time she will not do that. We have 2 adorable girls aged 9 and 4. She says that last year she set about looking for someone to love and be loved by as she was not getting this from me.

 

I only found out about the other man after the new year when I finally made her confess that she spent the celebrations with him and not with some friends as she claimed. Even though I suspected this was going on, I broke down and did all the things you do in the spur of the moment like telling her I loved her madly, begging her not to leave the children and I, etc. She was very cruel telling me that she did not love me, that she was the luckiest woman in the world to have met him, that she wanted to have his babies and that she was prepared to leave her children for him. She has kept repeating these things, she says specifically to hurt my feelings, every time we have talked about it, probably so as to put me off her.

 

Now, the reason she is being cruel is that she is carrying a lot of resentment about things that I did -or did not do- during our time together. As it happens to people in this state, she denies she ever loved me, that she was ever happy, that our children were born out of love, etc. The reality is we had a first year full of bliss, when we loved each other and when we had a lot of fun together. I invested a lot of time, effort and money bringing her to the UK: trips to her country, legal fees, visa applications, plus English language and other training courses. This continued during all the time I supported her before she was even able to ask for her first job. All this was intended to get her going in her life in the UK. I was investing in her future but I also did the other things like taking he our in town, a nice honeymoon holiday, etc.

 

My wife keeps rubbing on my face the money this man is spending on courting her: buying her jewellery, dinners in posh restaurants and buying tickets for a romantic trip they are going to make for Saint Valentine's in Paris. I have told her that, in the past 10 years, I invested in her future for herself (in the hope that she would want to share it with me) but that this man is investing in courting her so that he can have her for himself. He is not rich but he does not have any need to spend money on essential things like clothes for the children, a wife, etc. All his money is disposable income. He is divorced and his marriage did not even last enough for him to have children; I have challenged my wife with this. Of course a man is going to go out of his way to do these things when courting a woman. I did my courting in my own way: spending a lot of money on English lessons is not as romantic as a piece of jewellery but in the long term it was more useful to her than a necklace.

 

It is true that I have done all those things that men who find themselves in my situation do: I forgot about romance, buying her presents, taking her out, buying her flowers, etc. I thought that working 24/7 for her and the children was a good enough expression of my love for her. In fact, she hated me sitting in front of the computer all day long. I also made all the mistakes of men who do not help with the children and the housework as I thought that working hard to make money for my family was enough. We had serious financial problems during the recession and that added petrol to the fire. My wife was incredibly patient and helpful when I had a lot of trouble with money, but we forgot about love and concentrated on the money problems and the arguments about them. These problems and rows have made and indelible mark on our relationship.

 

My wife has always been understanding of the fact that I am not rich but she suddenly turned into this Cinderella who is infatuated a by a blue prince who has come to rescue her from me and who showers her with expensive things. Even though I forgot how to do these things I still do not understand how she suddenly started acting like a teenage girl (she is 32, I am older) and how she could fall in love like this twice in half a year when I only ever fell in love once every 15 years or so. I am pretty sure she had not even flirted with men in the first 9 years of our marriage. I cannot seem to convince her that she is just besotted by this man's attention but she says she fears that this is the last time she will find 'true love' while she is still young and beautiful. Of course I have been telling her (only recently) that I adore her but it falls on deaf ears.

 

In our case there are 2 circumstances that make a difference from other couple's problems. One, is I did a lot of pretty idiotic things that upset her. I do not get drunk, take drugs, cheat, squander our money, etc but I have a very bad temper, and during our rows I was very aggressive and rude, calling her names and insulting her. Fortunately, she is a strong woman and she was perfectly able to defend herself and she gave as good as she took. So I never thought I was abusing her but many of my actions were deplorable too: I once did not celebrate her birthday and other things like this. The second one is she seems to think that her children are in the way of her happiness too. She initially told me she would leave us all to go with this man and start a new life, with a new family, but I opened her eyes as to the pain she would cause to her children so now she says she will take one of them (like Sophie's choice). She does not get on well with my elder daughter so she has chosen the 4 year old. My panic is having the girls separated and having my children being from a broken family which I refuse to accept. I am extremely old-fashioned when it comes to the family unit and I believe that families should stick together through thick and thin except where there is violence, alcoholism, etc.

 

My wife is a good woman, at bottom, but she has done a number of reckless things, this one being the worst one. She could not even give me a warning, she just lied and went and did it. Early in 2012 she went berserk a few times going around the house breaking things (even crafts made by the children) just to hurt me. I asked her to go to therapy but she accused me of telling her that she was crazy. I once had to restrain her, physically, when she was destroying things, and now she considers it an act of violence against her that she carries in her baggage of resentment against me. I also suspect she may have a hormonal imbalance but she claims she has checked with the doctor and that it is not true. She is a Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde: we could be having a calm and friendly conversation and then suddenly her resentment comes to the surface, she exploded and pours out all this venom to hurt my feelings in retaliation for things past. When she explodes like this is when she lists the things she resents most about what I did - some are vastly exaggerated or distorted for her to justify her present actions, but many are true as she tells them. She tells me it is my turn to suffer.

 

At the beginning of 2012, we had several very bad fights, in front of the children, and I worried primarily about the effect this was having on the girls so I booked marriage counselling sessions and we went to them for a few months. They worked, the fights stopped but we missed one or two appointments and we stopped going. I worried that we did not deal with all of the other problems and my fears were right so I am in this situation now. The weirdest thing is that she embarked on her task to find another man during the second half of 2012 which was a relatively calm period for us. I thought we were moving slowly to recovery, although there was still no love back.

 

At Christmas time, and before she confessed about the other man, I sat her on the sofa, I kneeled, I held her by the hand and apologised profusely for having been so idiotic and for having treated her with such lack of respect and consideration, in my blindness, during the last 9 years. She briefly acknowledged that she had done bad things but did not confess to the present affair. It was mostly about the bad things I did. I told her that I was going to be that nice man she met 10 years ago, again, and that I was well aware I could lose her at any time. She said nothing. After the drama following her confession, I asked her if she did not believe I was being sincere when I sat her on the sofa, she said yes but that it was too late. My frustration is that, in 10 years of marriage, my wife never ever told me to sit with her, on the sofa, so that she could tell me what she wanted, that she was unhappy, etc. As it usually happens with wives, she just bottled it up until disaster came for me.

 

My main problem is that it took me decades to find her, that I realise I love her madly and that I desperately need her to bring up our daughters together. The other big problem is that she is going far in the relationship with the other man, they are making all their plans for the future, he has introduced her to his friends and family and my wife is travelling to her country, with him, to introduce him to her parents. She has told her friends what she is doing. She says she is staying in our house, until the summer, then she will leave. I do not know when she intends to start the divorce. She talks to him all time, on the phone and she sees him during the week-end. We are separated, living in the same house, and doing many things together, in relation to our normal life and the girls. She says she is only staying for the sake of the girls. She is looking for a job, to work for 6 months, then she will go to him where he lives in another county. The reason I put up with her relationship with this man, while she is still married to me, is that I consider it as punishment for the way I treated her and because I am trying to get her back. I am desperately hoping she comes to her senses, that she sticks to her family and that she forgives me before she gets the divorce and walks away. I am banking on the good woman side of her rather than her selfish side. She has already broken up a relationship like this before, so why can she not do it again? Rather optimistically, I am hoping that all the incredible excitement of a new relationship will die out, among them, after a number of months.

 

I work for myself, at home, and because of my depression I lost a contract for a month. However, this has given me time to go out of my way to prove myself and I am doing a lot of house work and things for the children, which I did not use to do. I am also putting a lot of effort in helping her find a job (her future rather than flowers again). I look after the children when she goes out to job interviews and when she goes to see this man!

 

I am completely puzzled by the fact that, just before Christmas, we sat and made all kinds of plans for the future. She was very sweet and looked happy. My side of the plans was mostly helping her with the things she wanted to do: find a job, learn to drive, get further training etc. (my money and time on her future, not jewels again!) Then she went to spend the new years celebration with him and everything changed, he seems to have cast a spell on her. She then decided to go ahead with her plans to leave me and go to him. She even denied the conversation we had about our plans for the future. Very strange and disappointing for me. She has briefly acknowledged my initial efforts to get her going in the UK. She mentioned £300 I spent on a training course for her (as if she was accepting that I did not spend it on a fancy necklace but on something useful to her, for the future, instead).

 

I am trying all the techniques I have read in this forum, and many other sites, giving advice to get your loved one back: give it time, stay cool, work on yourself, do not talk about love, no flowers, no self-pity, no begging, etc. -although she knows I cry all the time because the girls tell her I do when she is not there- I am mainly working on proving myself. However, this resentment of hers is always in the way. She keeps saying that the whole 10 year marriage period was hell for her but I know she is exaggerating to justify her actions with herself. She is fully aware that I am trying to get her back. We are communicating in friendly terms except for her Mr. Hyde moments when I walk away from the argument. When this happens she just keeps repeating that all she wants is a divorce and go with him. The funny thing is that sometimes she hints (or they could be errors in what she says) at a life with me, like raising the girls. I am trying to leave her alone but there are all these (practical) things we do together.

 

So the advice I am asking for is: how do I deal with her resentment and bitterness about me, which will make all my efforts to get her back useless otherwise?

It seems to me wrong to be competing with this man in terms of courting her: asking her out, buying flowers, presents, etc. My strategy (which is sincere) is in continuing to support her in the things she wants to do for her future and to reduce the burden of the children and the housework on her. She feels trapped looking after three people and not herself in our home. Unfortunately, her resentment against me makes it easy for her to hurt my feelings. I am hoping that one day she decides that she has punished me enough and come to her senses about her family. The reality is I have also carried a lot of resentment about the things she did, but I am prepared to drop it (including this affair) for the sake of saving my marriage.

 

My number one worry is: the longer I give it to prove myself to her and to wait for her to react favourable, the longer she has to develop the relationship with the other man.

 

Please do not give advice about letting go and moving on, I will cross that bride if and when I get to it, when I have exhausted all other possibilities. Fortunately or unfortunately I have the Dunkirk spirit in me. I have won sometimes but lost others because of this.

[DarrenK]

well.I read your entire story and its sounds so sad I'm sorry your going threw this .first its sounds like your wife is very selfish and only thinking of herself ...your wrong doings are classic as far as guys and women go we sometimes forget to be romantic like at the beginning and we should never stop being spontaneous with love and affection BUT as far as money gifts and material things she sounds shallow !!

 

Gifts money and that is not what counts ....unfortunately she doesn't seem to be putting anything into you anymore and its over I'm so so sorry to say this but if I was in your shoes I would work on myself ,workout eat healthy ,spend time with the kids and look to date online dating something to focus on your future because at this point she's given up and all yyou can do is show her your strong and tell her I love you always will this is not what i want I've learned to appreciate you ..then leave it at that ..who knows maybe shell realize what she left after her new honeymoon phase weres off ?but for you focus on you !!go tanning ,get a hair cut ,get fit not to impress her but to gain confidence then date try to make yourself move forward .god bless and good luck

[TaraMaiden]

So the advice I am asking for is: how do I deal with her resentment and bitterness about me, which will make all my efforts to get her back useless otherwise?

It seems to me wrong to be competing with this man in terms of courting her: asking her out, buying flowers, presents, etc. My strategy (which is sincere) is in continuing to support her in the things she wants to do for her future and to reduce the burden of the children and the housework on her. She feels trapped looking after three people and not herself in our home. Unfortunately, her resentment against me makes it easy for her to hurt my feelings. I am hoping that one day she decides that she has punished me enough and come to her senses about her family. The reality is I have also carried a lot of resentment about the things she did, but I am prepared to drop it (including this affair) for the sake of saving my marriage.

 

My number one worry is: the longer I give it to prove myself to her and to wait for her to react favourable, the longer she has to develop the relationship with the other man.

 

Please do not give advice about letting go and moving on, I will cross that bride if and when I get to it, when I have exhausted all other possibilities. Fortunately or unfortunately I have the Dunkirk spirit in me. I have won sometimes but lost others because of this.

 

 

You both need a lot of individual help in counselling.

But I don't think you should be together.

Edited January 17, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[youdunsay]

she sounds immature. tell her that the man only last as long as his money is not used up, and all that glitters is not gold. it's illusion.

[freddie22]

Thanks for the replies so far. I wanted to clarify a couple of things:

 

I have not said that one is an angel and the other is the devil. We both are a combination of the devil and an angel.

 

Another thing: I find it difficult to love anyone who is not the mother of my children. And the thing that will be most depressing, apart from losing her, is that my children would be from a broken family which is the last thing I wanted. That is just me.

 

I am sorry but I do not want to start using tactics like saing to her: 'get out of here' and then wait for her to come back on her knees.

 

We both deserve and not deserve each other if you see what I mean. My only tactic is reconciliation.

 

And Iam still waiting for advice on healing or convincing her to lower her resentment. If can do it, why can't she?

[TaraMaiden]

Simply:

She doesn't want to.

You can't make her, and you cannot fix this on your own, if she will not co-coperate.

 

Your joint communication skills are shot to pieces.

you could both do with counselling, but what you must understand fully - and also communicate to her too - is that:

 

Counselling is not designed to keep people together, necessarily.

 

It's a medium for helping you both to communicate properly, safely and with someone present who can steer the discussion and prevent it from becoming an abusive slanging match.

 

It puts you both (to mix metaphors) on a level playing field, viewing the same page.

 

With effective discussion in mind, and a joint aim to try to draw something positive from this mess, ask her if she would be willing to attend joint counselling - if only to help you both actually embark on some kind of 'meeting of minds'....

Edited January 17, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[Michael Johnson]

Why are you wasting your money and invaluable time on a wayward who's not committed?

[Janesays]

It's over, dude. Accept it and move on.

 

Likely you both made some serious, serious mistakes in your marriage. My suggestion is use those mistakes to improve your relationships with others in the future.

 

Good luck.

[TheBadOne]

It appears you've done all you can possibly do, unfortunately for you your tactics make you appear weak. How do you possibly think you can compete for this woman looking like a pushover? You have received good advice from people on this board. Face it your marriage has become toxic. If you want a good upbringing for your daughters show them how to be strong and not a doormat. They deserve better than what you and your wife will reflect if you reconcile. Don't think for a minute she doesn't believe she can get away with having more affairs in the future if you two reconcile. Your daughters will begin to see this as normal behavior. Do you see where I'm going with this? Man up for the sake o you and your children and do the right thing by filing for divorce now! I know you cant see this as good advice right now but eventually you will. Good luck.

[KraftDinner]

I think emotionally, she is gone. (You want advice, and I'm getting to that at the end, just so you don't think this is a 'just leave her' post.)

 

The stuff you say about your temper...this should not be minimized. You've been pushing her away for years. Sounds like you've been taking her for granted, not helping with the housework or kids and stuff.

 

Just to be clear, I am NOT justifying her affair(s). Those are wrong, period.

 

But to give you a glimpse into her head...this all might have done a number on her. It probably felt like disrespect, which she feels she now has a right to return.

 

It sounds like you think you know best for her. Maybe you do think this, cuz you're older, she's not from there, etc. You keep talking about how you're investing in her future. No romantic gifts...just practical.

 

Like a dad...see where I'm going here?

 

She's acting like a teenager because you're acting like her dad.

 

Stop it. Go romantic, emotional, angry, crazy. Don't hold it in.

[Later82012]

Any parent that is not capable of loving their own kids is not capable of loving anyone. She will use him just like she used you. You don't want people like her in your life even if she is the mother of your kids.

[NervisPervis]

Let her go. Best day of your life.

[Mimolicious]

Have to be 100% honest, I stopped reading at the point where you said this:

 

"About 4 months ago she found herself another man and now she says she is in love with him and that she wants a divorce so that she can go with him. She also told me that she met another man in the summer of 2012, fell in love but broke up the relationship when her mother told her to think of her children first, but that this time she will not do that."

 

RUUUUUUUUUUN! and take care of your kids. 1. How many times can she "fall in love" from summer to Dec? Sounds like she has issues and needs serious help. Then her mother had to remind her that her children are what is important? Yet, this "time" she wont think of the children first. (Why are women like this even able to give birth?!)

 

You should seriously leave this chick in the dust and take care of your kids. She sounds immature, unstable and lost. I highly doubt your kids will be priority in her decision making going forward.

 

Good luck!

[Later82012]

Please do not give advice about letting go and moving on, I will cross that bridge if and when I get to it, when I have exhausted all other possibilities. Fortunately or unfortunately I have the Dunkirk spirit in me. I have won sometimes but lost others because of this.

If you really want her back start making more money than him and she will come running back to you and that is the only way she will come back to you. Don't find ways to stand her on her legs, but find ways for yourself to make more money.

[Mimolicious]

Thanks for the replies so far. I wanted to clarify a couple of things:

 

I have not said that one is an angel and the other is the devil. We both are a combination of the devil and an angel.

 

Another thing: I find it difficult to love anyone who is not the mother of my children. And the thing that will be most depressing, apart from losing her, is that my children would be from a broken family which is the last thing I wanted. That is just me.

 

I am sorry but I do not want to start using tactics like saing to her: 'get out of here' and then wait for her to come back on her knees.

 

We both deserve and not deserve each other if you see what I mean. My only tactic is reconciliation.

 

And Iam still waiting for advice on healing or convincing her to lower her resentment. If can do it, why can't she?

 

 

I don't think you get it and it now is terrifying to know that 2 kids are being raised in a household with people who think like this. Your W is bluntly being with anothet man dead in your face. Your family and marriage is already broken. Your wife's checked out and couple of times.

 

Is this the way that you want your daughters to be raised and instill such values? Kids are smarter than you think.

 

Her resentment is not going anywhere unless you win the mega-million sweetpea. It's probably just a fallible excuse to push you away.

How do you want us to tell you how to "heal" her or "convince her"? Sounds like she is fed up with you and long gone. You both should try on doing what is best for your kids and that doesn't always mean staying together and be dysfunctional. Get some therapy.

[Ninja'sHusband]

So the advice I am asking for is: how do I deal with her resentment and bitterness about me, which will make all my efforts to get her back useless otherwise?

You could try the tactics in the book "Divorce Remedy" or "Surviving an Affair" by Harley...but it's gonna be really really rough.

 

I think you need to back way off. She wants it over, the more you act like you are an item and control her the more its going to piss her off.

 

Unfortunately the only way to really bring her back is to start to let go, and be as nice and unpathetic as you can be in the process. It's an awful thing to go through. I'm really sorry I know you don't want to hear it, but the best thing is to move on whether you want it or not. Maybe she'll wake up, I dunno though, she's kinda revealed who she is...if you can live with that, I guess go for it. I tried my hardest in my situation, I needed to for the sake of my family so I get that. It wasn't sustainable and now I don't think I'll ever see her the same way. So selfish. Good luck man.

[darkmoon]

You wrote

 

"We are communicating in friendly terms except for her Mr. Hyde moments when I walk away from the argument -

 

- When this happens she just keeps repeating that all she wants is a divorce and go with him."

 

so why walk away from the argument? why not continue talking, not raised voices, but stop walking away. And the Mr. Hyde nickname, is this what you use here or do you say it to her face? But anyway, why walk away when you know that it makes her repeat how she wants a divorce?

[anastasiagreyson]

This is such a very long story but I'm glad you've shared it here. There are a lot of married couples who experiences this kind of situation. And you need to hear the truth.

 

Your wife is very selfish and from the way she's acting, it seemed like she didn't love you at all. She's willing to leave her children for another man and that's very irresponsible of her. She has to realize that while she's busy chasing her own happiness, she's ruining her children's life and yours too.

 

Its a common reaction that you want your wife back just because you see her happy and in love with another man. People are like that. When you see someone happy and its not with you, you get challenged. If marriage counselling sessions did not work for the both of you, maybe you need to compete with the other man. Give her what she wants. Maybe this can bring her back to you and to her senses.

[Darren Steez]

Thanks for the replies so far. I wanted to clarify a couple of things:

 

I have not said that one is an angel and the other is the devil. We both are a combination of the devil and an angel.

 

Another thing: I find it difficult to love anyone who is not the mother of my children. And the thing that will be most depressing, apart from losing her, is that my children would be from a broken family which is the last thing I wanted. That is just me.

 

I am sorry but I do not want to start using tactics like saing to her: 'get out of here' and then wait for her to come back on her knees.

 

We both deserve and not deserve each other if you see what I mean. My only tactic is reconciliation.

 

And Iam still waiting for advice on healing or convincing her to lower her resentment. If can do it, why can't she?

Because she's banging someone else and is not interested in you. Hasn't she made that clear?

 

She's basically taken a 2x4, whacked you across the head a couple of times and what has she got back? Begging, pleading and you trying to force her to feel something she doesn't feel.

 

She's gone, checked out, her heart is with him and she's told you that. Now you fight in front of the kids, kids are not stupid, they see the tension between you and in the long run they will be affected.

 

She needs to go, if this guy is willing to wine and dine her then he can put her up in his place with all his disposable income. You need to get her out because you need the space not just for you but for the kids, because as much as you're trying to protect them, them seeing you two fighting all the time will bear negative consequences.

 

This might be hurtful to your pride (I can't love anyone else but the mother of my children) but you can't handcuff her or force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

 

Time to do what is best for you and your kids moving forward. Let her go.

[Nyla]

This is such a very long story but I'm glad you've shared it here. There are a lot of married couples who experiences this kind of situation. And you need to hear the truth.

 

Your wife is very selfish and from the way she's acting, it seemed like she didn't love you at all. She's willing to leave her children for another man and that's very irresponsible of her. She has to realize that while she's busy chasing her own happiness, she's ruining her children's life and yours too.

 

Its a common reaction that you want your wife back just because you see her happy and in love with another man. People are like that. When you see someone happy and its not with you, you get challenged. If marriage counselling sessions did not work for the both of you, maybe you need to compete with the other man. Give her what she wants. Maybe this can bring her back to you and to her senses.

 

I agree with the bolded part. I don't think you should compete for your wife as she isn't worth the trouble. You don't need a woman who takes advantage of you and doesn't care about her kids.

 

Seems like your wife is a gold digger as well. She found a naive older man who would bring her to a new country and pay for her life. Since she is greedy and selfish, it is easy for her to leave you for a man who buys her pretty gifts. This type of woman doesn't even care how much her children will be damaged by a senseless divorce; she just wants money. How sickening!

 

I bet that when your wife's sugar daddy leaves her, she will try to get back with you.

 

Get a lawyer and make sure you mention infidelity as the reason for the divorce.

[Mtlgrrl]

Thanks for the replies so far. I wanted to clarify a couple of things:

 

I have not said that one is an angel and the other is the devil. We both are a combination of the devil and an angel.

 

Another thing: I find it difficult to love anyone who is not the mother of my children. And the thing that will be most depressing, apart from losing her, is that my children would be from a broken family which is the last thing I wanted. That is just me.

 

I am sorry but I do not want to start using tactics like saing to her: 'get out of here' and then wait for her to come back on her knees.

 

We both deserve and not deserve each other if you see what I mean. My only tactic is reconciliation.

 

And Iam still waiting for advice on healing or convincing her to lower her resentment. If can do it, why can't she?

 

First I want to say, I am sorry this is happening to you. I have no advice on convincing her to change her mind. You have two children to look after, they should be your no. 1 priority right now. You are putting so much effort in getting back your wife, I'm sure your girls must feel so trapped. Your wife has given up on any hope of working things out. What are you doing? She has little respect for yourself, she is cheating in your face with another men and causing chaos with your children. You need to step up to you daughters and you need to get divorced. Find someone who will appreciate you for who you are rather than your wallet. At 32 years old she should know better and what mother would leave her children? Disgusting. You need therapy as it seems you have a very poor low self image of yourself.

[Mtlgrrl]

I didn't read everything but I skimmed it very well. I also so the part where you didn't want people telling you to give up.....

 

If you want to get your wife back here is what you have to do. Step 1 you need to humiliate the other guy. Use every dirty trick in the book. Get him fired from his job. Be creative. He is your enemy he brought this upon himself show him no mercy.

 

Things you could do would include calling his work and letting people know he's with a married woman who has children. Humiliate him, get him fired some how. If it were me I'd consider beating the living sht out of him. Obviously don't get arrested, but this man stole your wife.

 

Be very romantic to your wife. Write her some long heart felt thing. Every little thing you remember about her. Talk about how she brings meaning to your life. Promise you'll be perfect and stuff like that. Butter the woman up. Also buy her some jewelry.

 

Might also help to make her jealous. Go find a beautiful woman. Use a escort if you must. Take pictures of you two hanging out and such. Maybe make a fake facebook account and flirt with yourself. Tell your wife she means nothing to you haha.

 

Finally be tough. No crying or whining or begging her back. Be a man. You tell her to come back.

I really hope you're joking!