FailedFirstLove Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Im currently writting a really long letter to say goodbye to the guy i loved so much that chose to walk away from me. Its a very long letter that consists of all our memories together, my feelings and things i want to say or ask him. Dont worry! i wont be sending this letter, but i think it would help to let it out. since i never got to say goodbye to him this is the closet to a goodbye. I think it will allow me to express my feelings and also say bye to the memories that i've held for so long. I dont know if its going to help but at least im trying to cope.
Victoria Lake Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 That's a great idea (as long as you won't send it). You can post it here if you want; I'd like to read it
MyAngel Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It helped me to write a goodbye letter that is still sitting there. I will not send it either. Writing things down really helps me too. Either here or somewhere else private. Make sure you don't send
cottom Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Goodbyes are easy, knowing that there will never be another hello, that is the most pain of all
Author FailedFirstLove Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 There may be a hello again, it wont be the same hello but a friendly hello. i hope i could do that one day.
ScienceGal Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It will help. Make it as long as you have to, include every detail you can remember. Most importantly, cover the good and the bad, and be honest. Good luck.
hudson701 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I actually wrote mine 3 weeks ago and sent it. Her exact text message reply was "Hey I got it yesterday, it was a really nice letter and meant a lot, thank you. Please look after yourself I still really care about you and just want you to be happy" to which I replied "Thanks for reply. Please think on it. Take care too." I've not heard anything since the 3 weeks NC. Writing '3 weeks NC' makes me realise that's such a short space of time. Give it 3 months NC see how I feel then. She wants to travel America and I play no part in that. I have to move on, and what I don't know doesn't hurt me. I don't regret sending the letter but do regret admitting a lot of blame for the BU in the letter. I'm thinking more clearly now and realise she played a big part too.
SharkTooth Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Hudson, I'm sure that was a very hard blow and man do I feel your pain. But at the same time, good for you. I mean you did it and now you know. That took a lot of courage and you gotta be proud of that.
hudson701 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Yeah reading that reply back now it does seem rather patronising. Excellently written- she doesn't give anything away about her feelings, whether she'll be in touch or not etc. In short, a polite but evasive reply without any substance. She was always good at that. I feel quite angry now actually.
Author FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Does anyone find it hard to say goodbye for good? after writting te letter I felt better but today I'm back to being a wreck again. I can never truly say goodbye because deep down I want a return. I won't be sending my letter. He won't read it. If he does it will just end in trash. Then ill leave myself hanging. why does it have to be SO HARD! hard for the dumpees who get their heart crush unexpectedly! I'm still shock a month after wih what happened! I can't grasp all of it and join the pieces. 1
Victoria Lake Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I'm still shock a month after wih what happened! I can't grasp all of it and join the pieces. Take your time - as much as you need. Some need a couple of weeks to feel better, some - a couple of months; there isn't any pattern. BUUUUT... as far as I know, things start to get better after one month A 3 months mark is also important - by then you should definitely see some changes. I could tell you all kind of things - do this, do that, get involved into activities, go to the gym, meet with your friends... but I think it's more important for you to realize that in this case time is your friend - let it pass.
Recommended Posts