Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I have written about talking to a particular young woman for a while. The ups and downs of it. So this may just be more of the roller coaster. 24 hours ago we were fine, able to walk down the street in full view of everyone and chat together. I could tell a dark joke she'd laugh (We both like dark humor...think of the TV show MASH). Totally carefree. Then I mention her in a status on FB and blocked. WTH? Their not a huge FB person, unlike so many women their age. So this may not even be a big deal. I could see her shutting down her FB account. (I checked that this is possible by logging out and using her pages URL. When you do this things made visible to the general public are still visible to a blocked person.) But for the fact that her contact in my phone was linked to her FB so some of the info is gone i'd call or text. We see each other in real life all the time by virtue of our working in the same location, spending time well beyond just school work. If they were a date from online I'd call it pulling the fade and next em. The thing about people you work with or go to school with in the same major department, is the fade doesn't work if you see someone for many hours a week. You have to be real mature and not passive aggressive about things. More generally how can someone seem to jump from being ok with you to wanting to break off a major form of contact so suddenly? This or something like it is reported here many times.
charlietheginger Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Mrlonely. Humans are animals. Humans lie steal cheat Control hurt manipulate people . Its what humans Do. Never give your heart to anyone its only going To be broken 1
Lani Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I'm confused... Could you see her profile when you put in the URL? Meaning she's shut it down, or has she just blocked you?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 @Charlie I hope your not right but maybe you are right. @Lani With my profile logged out, as if I was just the general public typing in a URL I could not see her page. It was my understanding that if someone shuts or "deactivates" their profile the effect is basically the same as blocking. They just aren't there anymore. I've been blocked before, long story. If I logged out the public parts of their page were visible. The more I think about it the more I lean towards this being that their profile has been deactivated. Usually when someone blocks you it can been seen a mile away. Certainly if they have something against you in real life they'd act like it. Unless they are so very passive aggressive that they would be all smiles and laughs in person and 180 different online.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It seems like she didn't want someone to see that you tagged her...
Emilia Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It might have something to do with the status you mentioned her in like ES said. Perhaps she doesn't know how to take off tagging especially if she doesn't use facebook often
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 It seems like she didn't want someone to see that you tagged her... While that's very possible. Because I can't even seen her page when logged out , and I use her FB URL to go directly to it (found in my history) that indicates that her account has been deactivated. So it may not even be about me. In the past when someone or the other blocked me if I logged out I could still see that they existed on FB.
IT Geek Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 More generally how can someone seem to jump from being ok with you to wanting to break off a major form of contact so suddenly? This or something like it is reported here many times. My last 3 first dates went from what seemed to be having a good time to NC the next day. Nothing unusual for me. You'll get over it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 My last 3 first dates went from what seemed to be having a good time to NC the next day. Nothing unusual for me. You'll get over it. Aww. Hugs 1
StanMusial Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Facebook is way too much drama. I don't see how anyone can date and use it regularly. I've been on there since 2005 and literally have NEVER posted a single status update LOL. If I meet a new girl I usually tell her I will add her but I don't really use it. I don't live out my life on the internet.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 maybe you believe too much in facebook. like what people do there is more valued then reallife. No I know real life is way more important. Which is why this confuses me. We had a good length walk and talk just 24 hours or so ago. In real life, in her and my real world. many woman feel kind of a presure to be nice all the time or smile to be nice, so maybe that is what she do too keep it nice at work, but when she is in her real space where she can be herself she dont want too be bother with relations. cant blame her. if you are not her bf or family she dont have too keep you all over her life What you say could be possible. But All I did was tag them in my status that I typed on my timeline. I mentioned something I said to her, not something really intimate even. I've been dealing with a very sick parent, that's what the status update was about. @Stan musial Your right on about FB. If if weren't for FB. Every bit of drama we have had has been over FB. In real life everything is cool.
Lani Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Could it just be a coincidence that she shut down her Facebook right after you posted that? Why don't you just text or call her and ask how she is, and if she responds then you know she's still keen.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Could it just be a coincidence that she shut down her Facebook right after you posted that? Why don't you just text or call her and ask how she is, and if she responds then you know she's still keen. Perhaps, but in a comment on that same status I complained about facebook "privacy" myself. Perhaps she decided to put her money where her mouth is and finally walk away from FB totally. I sent an email, plus in another 24 there is a good chance we would see eachother in real life again. As I said we work/study in the same major department. At that point I intend to find out where I stand.
monicaelise Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) I have written about talking to a particular young woman for a while. The ups and downs of it. So this may just be more of the roller coaster. 24 hours ago we were fine, able to walk down the street in full view of everyone and chat together. I could tell a dark joke she'd laugh (We both like dark humor...think of the TV show MASH). Totally carefree. Then I mention her in a status on FB and blocked. WTH? Their not a huge FB person, unlike so many women their age. So this may not even be a big deal. I could see her shutting down her FB account. (I checked that this is possible by logging out and using her pages URL. When you do this things made visible to the general public are still visible to a blocked person.) But for the fact that her contact in my phone was linked to her FB so some of the info is gone i'd call or text. We see each other in real life all the time by virtue of our working in the same location, spending time well beyond just school work. If they were a date from online I'd call it pulling the fade and next em. The thing about people you work with or go to school with in the same major department, is the fade doesn't work if you see someone for many hours a week. You have to be real mature and not passive aggressive about things. More generally how can someone seem to jump from being ok with you to wanting to break off a major form of contact so suddenly? This or something like it is reported here many times. I would check into the FB issue before getting your knickers in a twist. My last ex decided I'd deleted him when his genius friends informed him I had. All I had actually done is change my privacy settings. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and good old FB. I did delete him (both on FB and in reality...not because of FB though), and the entire account, shortly thereafter. Nothing good ever comes from that infernal anti-social network. I haven't missed it a bit. Edited January 17, 2013 by monicaelise 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I would check into the FB issue before getting your knickers in a twist. My last ex decided I'd deleted him when his genius friends informed him I had. All I had actually done is change my privacy settings. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and good old FB. I did delete him (both on FB and in reality...not because of FB though), and the entire account, shortly thereafter. Nothing good ever comes from that infernal anti-social network. I haven't missed it a bit. Yeah well, I can't see someone going ballistic over a change of privacy setting from friends of friends to friends only. That would be a big red flag. What else will set them off? I sent an email with a neutral-apologetic tone. Plus I intend to talk about this when next we meet.
monicaelise Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Yeah well, I can't see someone going ballistic over a change of privacy setting from friends of friends to friends only. That would be a big red flag. What else will set them off? I sent an email with a neutral-apologetic tone. Plus I intend to talk about this when next we meet. In fairness to him, it really was a FB issue, which was why I replied to your post. I didn't bag it because of that. There were plenty of other reasons to let it go. The stupid FB incident just made it a whole lot easier to see the ridiculousness of putting too much stock in anything that goes on with that site. I think the email is the best way to go. You may be right about her disappearing, but ...as in my case.. it may be a more general disappearance and not specifically geared toward you. 1
Nightsky Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I know what you should do, and I'm sure you can predict my advice so use it.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I think the email is the best way to go. You may be right about her disappearing, but ...as in my case.. it may be a more general disappearance and not specifically geared toward you. Yeah that's what I'm thinking and hoping right now. Nothing else that happens between us off facebook makes any sense if she does not at least enjoy my company.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 After a bit more reflection I'm not so worried. We've been going around this circle for six months now. We've had issues before, they always pass and we end up in a better place overall...so far. I also found a good way to know if someone has blocked you Vs deactivated their account. Private messages. If someone blocks you their private messages completely disappear. If they deactivate their account you end up with a greyed out picture and no link in their private messages. Which is what there is now. Thanks for talking me through this guys.
SilentVoice Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Why do you continue to waste your time with this person?
weee111 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 When you get tagged in a post it emails you. This could be as simple as her getting an email from fb and being like "oh crap I forgot to shut this down"
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Why do you continue to waste your time with this person? There is no simple answer to that. Part of it is from working on the same subject in the same building with the same small group of students. The whole major department has about 30 students and 7-10 grad students. That means we see eachother, know the same people. Then there is that on some level we like each other. I'm not always crazy about her she's not always crazy about me. There's just no simple answer to this. Plus I'm a hopeless romantic. I think back on couples like Marie and Pierre Currie...Pierre had to ask her to marry him three times.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I'm just gonna point out one more thing about this. If things are as bad as they appeared at first blush at least they are showing what their really about right now. Unlike the folks in this story. Cancer kiss-off: Getting dumped after diagnosis - TODAY Health - TODAY.com It would be like them saying " Ok your parent is ill and will need you to care for them for the rest of their life Cya!" God I hope I haven't been dealing with someone that despicable all this time.
nessaaa Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 People who announce stuff thru their fb status is annoying.. maybe she was embarassed
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 People who announce stuff thru their fb status is annoying.. maybe she was embarassed People do that because they have a large group of people who need to be informed. I had the privacy setting restricted to a list of family and people I considered close friends, no more than a handful of which were not family by blood or marriage. Of the people she knew, only she would have been able to see it. That post was the last of many I'd sent over the last few weeks. Privacy restricted to that list about his sickness, the simeltaneous sickness of myself my mother and my sister, and my fathers status since leaving hospital. There was no problem until I mentioned her name, someone who I'd been able to talk to a little when I really needed it. Then this. That's what's so perplexing. It's not like this was the first time I'd mentioned my fathers sickness on facebook, nor is it the first time I'd spoken/written to her of it. If anything it's the heaviness of the whole situation being too much for them. This situation in my life has been a test of myself and everyone I held close to me. She may have just failed to handle a dose of reality inside the bubble of college. Wait...isn't pretty much every FB status some form of announcement. To me it's more annoying when the announcement is what they had for breakfast this morning...or some other trivial thing.
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