Above average women

January 17, 2013

I think the moral of this story and of the post is for guys to take chances and go for it. Guys who do so might be very pleasantly surprised.

YES THIS. exactly the whole point haha.

January 17, 2013

I think that this is why some of the guys here are not getting girls. They are too afraid to pursue women or do not pursue enough women. Also, some of the guys do not know what to say to girls.

January 17, 2013

So do you girls mean that it's hard to find a guy who wants a relationship? Or do you all meet guys who want relationships but just not with you, I am confused?

I suppose you could say it's hard to meet a guy who wants a relationship at all/or with me...

It's hard for me to find a guy who's interested in anything more than purely platonic friendship with me. I have plenty of male friends who are married or have girlfriends who say "Phoe, you're pretty, you're kind and smart, you'd make a great girlfriend, why aren't guys lining up to be with you? Why am I not having to beat them off with sticks?? haha"... all I can do is shrug. I dunno why. lol.

January 17, 2013

This thread is so full of bitterness that I actually noticed my mood steadily dropping as I read it, so that'll be enough of LS for the day for me.

All I can say is, if some of you folk think that NONE of this can POSSIBLY seep out IRL and betray your true selves, you're either the REAL winner of the Oscars, or you're wrong.

January 17, 2013

I suppose you could say it's hard to meet a guy who wants a relationship at all/or with me...

It's hard for me to find a guy who's interested in anything more than purely platonic friendship with me. I have plenty of male friends who are married or have girlfriends who say "Phoe, you're pretty, you're kind and smart, you'd make a great girlfriend, why aren't guys lining up to be with you? Why am I not having to beat them off with sticks?? haha"... all I can do is shrug. I dunno why. lol.

You should ask them "if you were single [if they have a gf] would you date me?" and see what they say. Ask why they wouldn't.

January 17, 2013

I think the moral of this story and of the post is for guys to take chances and go for it. Guys who do so might be very pleasantly surprised.

Just as the OP didn't ask out the two women in the restaurant thinking they would reject him, those guys didn't ask you out thinking you would reject them. In truth they really rejected themselves.

Maybe it just sucks less to reject yourself? Maybe you have to see the person on a somewhat regular basis and don't want to risk any awkwardness?

January 17, 2013

I think the moral of this story and of the post is for guys to take chances and go for it. Guys who do so might be very pleasantly surprised.

Just as the OP didn't ask out the two women in the restaurant thinking they would reject him, those guys didn't ask you out thinking you would reject them. In truth they really rejected themselves.

Based on the stories.

If I was the guy in restaurant, I would not ask out the two women.

Though if I was in Phoe's story, I would have asked her out because I make it a point to ask out every girl I'm interested in if I interact with them on at least a semi-regular basis.

I'm always testing the waters with girls I regularly interact with. If she seems to enjoy talking to me at all, I almost always ask them out.

Still get rejected though, but that's besides the point.

January 18, 2013

You should ask them "if you were single [if they have a gf] would you date me?" and see what they say. Ask why they wouldn't.

See the thing with that, is that I never even have to ask them that, they straight out tell me that if they were single they would date me. They don't say it in a "trying to hit on me" way, but just in an honest, matter of fact kind of way. I just can't get any SINGLE guys to take any notice

January 18, 2013

Though if I was in Phoe's story, I would have asked her out because I make it a point to ask out every girl I'm interested in if I interact with them on at least a semi-regular basis.

and I would happily accept. Unless a guy seems to be legitimately psychotic, I see no reason not to give any interested guy a chance, cause the date could turn out to be an awesome time

January 18, 2013

See the thing with that, is that I never even have to ask them that, they straight out tell me that if they were single they would date me. They don't say it in a "trying to hit on me" way, but just in an honest, matter of fact kind of way. I just can't get any SINGLE guys to take any notice

These are probably the same people who'd later deny ever saying that or confess to only trying to be supportive but only seeing you as a friend if they WERE single and you'd asked again. I could be projecting, but I think that people in general just try to be nice because they've got no dog in the fight..

It's a lot like a young guy getting told he's handsome and this and that when he's experienced a decade-long dry spell. It's all feel-good crap to put you in a positive mood, but it doesn't mean anything when you take an objective look at your situation.

January 18, 2013

These are probably the same people who'd later deny ever saying that or confess to only trying to be supportive but only seeing you as a friend if they WERE single and you'd asked again. I could be projecting, but I think that people in general just try to be nice because they've got no dog in the fight..

It's a lot like a young guy getting told he's handsome and this and that when he's experienced a decade-long dry spell. It's all feel-good crap to put you in a positive mood, but it doesn't mean anything when you take an objective look at your situation.

It's definitely something to consider, I think there is a certain amount of people trying to give me a positive outlook, but if I'm not ASKING, they don't necessarily need to volunteer information I suppose, haha.

And I know I seem whiny, but I don't talk about this kind of stuff IRL. I would never go to my friends and whine about how I can't get a date, I'd feel so pathetic ... thank God for LS where I can vent about this stuff and save everyone else from it

January 18, 2013

The other week I told my friend an overweight woman in her 60s was kind of attractive because she was nice, and he told me I was insane.

Sorry, Susan Sarandon already has a boyfriend and he's younger than you. Besides, who cares what your friend thinks?

January 18, 2013

Any normal woman having 25 men interested in her at any one time seems like such a HUGE exaggeration.... The maximum I've ever had is 2 at one time, and on average I'm LUCKY if I have just 1 guy interested in me at any one time.

A woman with 25 men all interested in her at once must be absolutely drop dead gorgeous, perfect... amazing..

In one sense it is a huge exaggeration, I won't deny that. An above average college student willhave that many men interested or more but how many of them are going to step up is the question.

January 18, 2013

In one sense it is a huge exaggeration, I won't deny that. An above average college student willhave that many men interested or more but how many of them are going to step up is the question.

What do you mean step up?

January 18, 2013

In one sense it is a huge exaggeration, I won't deny that. An above average college student willhave that many men interested or more but how many of them are going to step up is the question.

ahhh okay... that makes more sense.

When I was in college I was involved in a LOT of activities and went to parties and clubs about once a week, was quite the social butterfly and cute enough, it's very possible that there were a number of guys interested at any one time, I just didn't know it because they never showed it.

25 is still a VERY huge number, but I could see 5 or 6 guys interested at once being quite reasonable

January 18, 2013

What do you mean step up?

He means of those 25 guys, how many of them have the guts to actually ask her out.

January 18, 2013

He means of those 25 guys, how many of them have the guts to actually ask her out.

College guys, maybe about 10 would Step UP 3D.

Possibly more.

January 18, 2013

College guys, maybe about 10 would Step UP 3D.

Possibly more.

Gonna disagree with you man, I bet it would be more like 2 to 4. I remember back in college a friend of mine who now plays in the NFL, was intimidated by a smart pretty girl. Even back then he had everything going for him, and his reasoning was that she would just think he was a dumb jock trying to get in her pants.

January 18, 2013

Small towns are tough. It's what I blame for being chronically single.

But seriously, if you're a woman who is a 7.5 and NO guys are showing interest, I have to wonder if you've put yourself in situations where they see you as approachable. e.g. How often do you dress up a bit cute, then go down to the bar and play a game of pool, karaoke, or whatever.

My sister was average looking (like all in the family) & skinny (no T&A), and had to stop being so friendly to guys when out because she got hit on so much, as just one example. I find it very hard to believe a woman who really is a 7.5-8 that she never gets any attention. She must go to work with her head buried in a book or in her phone/ipod when on public transport or at cafes and work with no eligible men, and is totally absorbed when she goes out shopping, and barely ever go out to clubs, parties & social events (not fashion shows, baby showers, etc)

I can understand how living in a small town can make it tough, and unless there is a big gender bias in the town, really the average joe single guys there and the plain janes there face the same issue, but with even less options. Some of these posts are like the rich guy complaining how being rich is not all its cracked up to be...hates paying too much tax, pain in the ass coming up with structures to minimize tax, business takes up too much of his time, govt redtape, his employees dont work hard enough, not being able to trust women/people because of his $, and so on. Tell that to the single mothers in housing commission homes in Brixton. Its very easy to be philosophical about looks when you get to 40+ as I know a few who are (both M + F), but turn the clock back 5-10-15 yrs and their attitude when it came to being attractive & desiring attractive & landing attractive partners and it was so different then. Like telling an old geyser, hey you are so lucky you don't have to work any more, I wish I was you haha...I am sure he feels good about old for that.

EG, you say being attractive is not much to celebrate, yet you also said you were invisible to guys when you were a chubster. Which one is better in the short + long term? Its like getting dealt a flush in poker, sure you can lose, but its a good hand and you are statistically better off ending grinning. Just because a series of passionate & exciting romances with great (at the time anyway) partners does not end up with happy ever after, does not mean you didn't get a lot of great memories

Being attractive has its own complications I agree, in terms of guys just wanting to hook up with you, but at the same time you also get a lot of guys who would cherish you. Unlike what some women on here think, for all the women I have known its not the less attractive that have been cheated on the most but ironically the more attractive ones. The hotter you are the hotter the guys you desire or think you deserve...the hotter the guys the more options they have and the more they are tempted. While a woman in her 40s might say beauty was not that much of a blessing in that respect, tell the pretty women (or guys) in their prime that they would be better off if they did not make themselves so attractive that way they would find genuine partners, and they will laugh.

January 18, 2013

Unlike what some women on here think, for all the women I have known its not the less attractive that have been cheated on the most but ironically the more attractive ones. The hotter you are the hotter the guys you desire or think you deserve...the hotter the guys the more options they have and the more they are tempted.

I consider myself good looking (7.5... maybe a 7 if I really start thinking about it too much. 8 would be too generous though) but I don't think that means I DESERVE guys who are also 7's and 8's.

My first boyfriend is definitely about a 4. I adored his personality when we met. It didn't matter to me that he was not physically attractive. About 5'6, all of 100 pounds soaking wet, huge glasses (poor guy was blind as a bat), and the most ridiculous fashion sense. But it didn't matter, his personality caught me. Of course, about 6 months in the personality bit went out the door, he refused sex with me (turns out he'd been cheating on me, with a girl who was much prettier than me), and it all went to crap. Moved on.

Next boyfriend was about a 7. We were decently matched in looks. Things were great until he cheated on me. Like before, this girl was much prettier than me. :sick:

Went on 2 dates since then, both guys were about a 5... a little bit below average but nice personalities. We just didn't click romantically.

Those are the only guys who've shown interest. If I held out waiting for Mister 10 I'd just be plain stupid!

January 18, 2013

I consider myself good looking (7.5... maybe a 7 if I really start thinking about it too much. 8 would be too generous though) but I don't think that means I DESERVE guys who are also 7's and 8's.

My first boyfriend is definitely about a 4. I adored his personality when we met. It didn't matter to me that he was not physically attractive. About 5'6, all of 100 pounds soaking wet, huge glasses (poor guy was blind as a bat), and the most ridiculous fashion sense. But it didn't matter, his personality caught me. Of course, about 6 months in the personality bit went out the door, he refused sex with me (turns out he'd been cheating on me, with a girl who was much prettier than me), and it all went to crap. Moved on.

Next boyfriend was about a 7. We were decently matched in looks. Things were great until he cheated on me. Like before, this girl was much prettier than me. :sick:

Went on 2 dates since then, both guys were about a 5... a little bit below average but nice personalities. We just didn't click romantically.

Those are the only guys who've shown interest. If I held out waiting for Mister 10 I'd just be plain stupid!

Damn, sounds like I'd have a decent chance with you.

I'm a solid 6.2 and I don't get too crazy.

January 18, 2013

Damn, sounds like I'd have a decent chance with you.

I'm a solid 6.2 and I don't get too crazy.

Where'd the .2 come from?!?

Legitimately sounds like I'd have no problem dating you.

January 18, 2013

Originally Posted by KungFuJoe

Have crappy options is better than no options at all.

And every woman on this board will disagree with you.

But they're wrong.

Even then, I highly doubt all the options the average woman has, are crappy.

The simple truth is, with a higher number of options, there is a larger chance that one of them will be right.

Hm. I am certainly not the only woman on this board who agrees that crappy options are better than no options. At least they help a person feel like they are attractive to somebody, even though maybe not someone they'd be interested in.

You are in the same boat yourself, right? What you consider crappy options? Fat girls?

Another thing I want to point out. Lets say that a both men and women need to go on 25 first dates to find somebody they are compatible with. The woman will get to number 25 much quicker than the man will.

That's kind of a weird premise. Most people don't have to go on 25 dates to find someone they're compatible with because they have an idea about whether they are interested or not before they even have a first date. I think the reason people are advised to go on a lot of first dates is so they can become comfortable with the idea of dating.

-----------------------------

What is the deal with the huge obsession with a numerical scale and choosing partners based on it? I think it's really off.

Yes, as everybody knows all too well, beautiful people have an easier time of many aspects in life. And they have problems, too. Maybe even really horrific ones. Just like you people who rate yourself "under a 7" or whatever.

Your perception of how easy somebody else has it is pretty invalid, whoever you are. Whatever kind of pain they are experiencing is as serious to them as yours is to you. Even if attracting the opposite sex is not difficult for them.

Do you not realize how you are all holding yourselves back with buying into this number scale so wholeheartedly?

Edited January 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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January 21, 2013

The women have a larger pool of "potentials", but if a man doesn't ring her bell at all, there is not actually any potential.

The men, too, have "potentials" which are useless to them: women they aren't attracted to at all. They could have companionship and sex today if they just gave one of those women an opportunity. Why don't they?

Some men really don't have any "potentials" at all. Meaning really nobody who goes for them, not even ugly fat girls or whatever.

I understand this concept is so alien to women that they literally can't grasp it.

January 21, 2013

I've seen girls who say "I don't like bad boys" go after these same bad boys. I'd rather watch actions rather than words.

Perhaps what she considers bad differs from what you consider it to be. It seems like the typical male LS posters definition of a 'bad boy' is any guy who gets more dates than him.

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Above average women

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