Above average women

January 17, 2013

Their is also that point where once a woman reaches a certain level of attractiveness, that men won't approach her because they here that little "no way she is single voice".

Or they don't want to be with her, because they will feel inadequate and insecure.

January 17, 2013

If she is more than just physically attractive, sure.

If she is just physically attractive, maybe not.

I got the impression that the OP was defining "above average women" in purely physical terms.

Err, yeah I specifically said meaning more than just physical appearance....and you did too in the post I was replying to. So... okay then lol.

Anyway I still believe if a woman REALLY is above average in attractiveness and her personality is good, she will have her pick of men. I wonder if the gals bemoaning how they are above average actually are. Or what is wrong with their personality if they really are. I'd wonder the same thing about men who are super good looking and can't get a woman. Something is wrong somewhere, their personality I guess.

Or they don't want to be with her, because they will feel inadequate and insecure.

Oh I doubt that. Guys typically like showing off their girls physical beauty.

January 17, 2013

Their is also that point where once a woman reaches a certain level of attractiveness, that men won't approach her because they here that little "no way she is single voice".

I think there is some traction to that and, having ignored conventional wisdom and having approached some generally gorgeous women over the decades, most indeed did turn out to be married. I never had any specific inhibitions about approaching though, having had attractive females as friends. They're just people and everyone is different.

While reading the thread a Golden Corral analogy came to mind but I think that's just because I was hungry so I'll pass on sharing it.

January 17, 2013

Err, yeah I specifically said meaning more than just physical appearance....and you did too in the post I was replying to. So... okay then lol.

He is talking about strictly physical attractiveness in women.

I am not talking about strictly physical attractiveness in men.

Anyway I still believe if a woman REALLY is above average in attractiveness and her personality is good, she will have her pick of men. I wonder if the gals bemoaning how they are above average actually are. Or what is wrong with their personality if they really are. I'd wonder the same thing about men who are super good looking and can't get a woman. Something is wrong somewhere, their personality I guess.

I tend to agree. That's why I pointed out that the OP is only talking about physical attractiveness.

I guess the distinction I'm making is--just because she is above average in appearance, doesn't mean that she is an "above average woman" (as the title labels her). She could be a really messed up person, and drive men decent men away in droves. She'd still get plenty of male attention, but what quality?

Oh I doubt that. Guys typically like showing off their girls physical beauty.

There are a lot of insecure guys here.

Edited January 17, 2013 by xxoo

January 17, 2013

Anyway I still believe if a woman REALLY is above average in attractiveness and her personality is good, she will have her pick of men. I wonder if the gals bemoaning how they are above average actually are. Or what is wrong with their personality if they really are. I'd wonder the same thing about men who are super good looking and can't get a woman. Something is wrong somewhere, their personality I guess.

From reading these posts, it seems that most common reason for women to not get any offers for dates, is because there are no single men around them.

Basically their dating situation will never change unless they move to where the wild things are.

January 17, 2013

Oh I doubt that. Guys typically like showing off their girls physical beauty.

There are a lot of insecure guys here.

And you think that means they don't want a hot girlfriend?

January 17, 2013

I guess the distinction I'm making is--just because she is above average in appearance, doesn't mean that she is an "above average woman" (as the title labels her). She could be a really messed up person, and drive men decent men away in droves.

Yes, that certainly could be true; the OP described her as 'friendly' and apparently proactive about 'chatting' with him, even though his table was not assigned to her. He didn't describe her as sexual or flirtatious, from what I read anyway, hence she was relating to him on a non-romantic level, without regard to it benefiting her in any demonstrative way. Opinion will vary but mine would be that this singular aspect ticks her at least slightly above average, based upon indifference being average and unprovoked rudeness indicating below average. Friendly women, IMO, always rate above-average, simply because I've experienced enough of the 'other' in life.

OP, what's your take on this aspect?

January 17, 2013

THIS is exactly why it's NOT always easy...

I consider myself a 7.5 and can count on one hand the amount of guys who have ever pursued me or showed interest in me.

And before anyone says it.. YES I do pursue guys myself from time to time. Always rejected.

I've wondered if perhaps guys looks at me and think "oh she's probably got a bunch of guys after her, I won't even bother" and then all I get is a bunch of guys who won't even bother. Either that or I'm MASSIVELY wrong about my own looks and I'm really just unattractive. That possibility has crossed my mind plenty.

I have thought about this often,why guys have a go with me and the type of guys i attract, either I am too accepting and friendly, or, i am really unattractive and easy to approach because i am not a threat,then I get guys who tell me that i am hard to approach they are normally the nice ones, players dont have a problem......I have decided not to date and am goign an a mission as a nun..motives and guys to me are an enigma..dotn understand any of them, going to feed some kids instead..deb

January 17, 2013

Or they don't want to be with her, because they will feel inadequate and insecure.

I personally, have never felt I was inadequate, though I've had the "she can't be single" voice many times. Freinds have really been getting on me about it actually.

January 17, 2013

Small towns are tough. It's what I blame for being chronically single.

But seriously, if you're a woman who is a 7.5 and NO guys are showing interest, I have to wonder if you've put yourself in situations where they see you as approachable. e.g. How often do you dress up a bit cute, then go down to the bar and play a game of pool, karaoke, or whatever.

There's no bar to go to. That's how small this town is. People just hang out at home.

Several years ago when I was in college I would go out maybe once a week, guys might come up to me and dance with me, chat for a bit, and then walk away when the song was over. It was all fun but never did a guy show interest in anything more than just having a nice chat and dance with me. No one ever asked me for my number, or asked if I wanted a date, or anything like that. The 2 guys who did take me on dates in college, one was a friend of a friend, the other was an OLD.

Since moving to this small town and having NO place where people "go out" to, my social interactions have died down a lot. Most of my friends around here are married and all THEIR friends are married.... I don't know any single people.

I am NOT kidding when I say that only 5 guys have showed interest in dating me in my life. I said yes to 4 of them, the 5th one only got rejected because I already had a boyfriend at the time. Literally ALL a guy has to do is show interest or ask me out, and I'm there!

I'm not in a huge hurry to date though. 6 years of being single sucks, but I still have pleeeeenty of time left. I know I'll likely have to wait until I move to a bigger town.

January 17, 2013

Let's say an above average woman has 25 men interested in her (we know it's more but keeping it low for arguments sake). Well if she finds 3 out of 5 attractive like I did she'd be attracted to 15 of these men. If one third of them are stage 5 clingers, one third are jerks/deuches and the last 3rd are normal she has FIVE men to choose from!

Any normal woman having 25 men interested in her at any one time seems like such a HUGE exaggeration.... The maximum I've ever had is 2 at one time, and on average I'm LUCKY if I have just 1 guy interested in me at any one time.

A woman with 25 men all interested in her at once must be absolutely drop dead gorgeous, perfect... amazing..

January 17, 2013

^^^ agree.

And interest in what way? Sexually? Thats easy. The hard one is having a guy interested in you. As a whole person. Not just sex.

January 17, 2013

The hard one is having a guy interested in you. As a whole person. Not just sex.

As a man, I've found this to be just as difficult to find.

January 17, 2013

^^^ agree.

And interest in what way? Sexually? Thats easy. The hard one is having a guy interested in you. As a whole person. Not just sex.

yeah, INTEREST is more than a guy catcalling at me when I am walking down the street. That is not "interest". The homeless guy at the recycling center telling me I smell nice is not "interest". The MARRIED guy coming into my work WITH HIS WIFE asking what a pretty girl like me is doing here is not "interest" lol.... and a guy who is interested, but doesn't let me KNOW that he's interested... well that's not interest either.

Interest is when a guy makes it clear and known to me that he either wants to date me, or wants to get to know me further.

If all of the above crap is interest, well then pardon me but I'm not gonna throw myself at the next guy who hollers "HEY BABY LEMME HIT THAT" out a car window at me.

January 17, 2013

I will amend my previous statements to include this....

While in college, I reconnected through facebook with a handful of male friends from high school, just to catch up, chat, see how life was going. A number of them confessed that they'd had a crush on me in high school, but were too afraid to say anything, thought they'd never have a chance in hell. I was stunned. I NEVER would've expected a single one of them to have any interest in me... and almost all of them were guys I would have been absolutely giddy to go on a date with. I wish they would've let me know they were interested.

January 17, 2013

I will amend my previous statements to include this....

While in college, I reconnected through facebook with a handful of male friends from high school, just to catch up, chat, see how life was going. A number of them confessed that they'd had a crush on me in high school, but were too afraid to say anything, thought they'd never have a chance in hell. I was stunned. I NEVER would've expected a single one of them to have any interest in me... and almost all of them were guys I would have been absolutely giddy to go on a date with. I wish they would've let me know they were interested.

I'm going to make a non typical (for me) statement. I don't think most women understand how much rejection cuts a guy. I'm not talking about turned down from getting a number, or a date. I'M talking about getting rejected for some undisclosed reason a few weeks or months down the road. Id rather get out right rejected when i start talking to a woman 20 time than once 20 dates in.

January 17, 2013

I'm going to make a non typical (for me) statement. I don't think most women understand how much rejection cuts a guy. I'm not talking about turned down from getting a number, or a date. I'M talking about getting rejected for some undisclosed reason a few weeks or months down the road. Id rather get out right rejected when i start talking to a woman 20 time than once 20 dates in.

You mean how much rejection cuts SOME guys. I've had friends that literally hit on everything that walked and when they got rejected it was on to the next one like nothing happened.

January 17, 2013

I will amend my previous statements to include this....

While in college, I reconnected through facebook with a handful of male friends from high school, just to catch up, chat, see how life was going. A number of them confessed that they'd had a crush on me in high school, but were too afraid to say anything, thought they'd never have a chance in hell. I was stunned. I NEVER would've expected a single one of them to have any interest in me... and almost all of them were guys I would have been absolutely giddy to go on a date with. I wish they would've let me know they were interested.

I think a lot of both guys and gals underestimate themselves and think no one is really interested in them. I just recently found out that my SO has been interested in me for 2 years, and I've been interested in her for 3. I thought she was way 'out of my league' actually.

January 17, 2013

Hitting on random girls is completely different from getting by rejected by girls that you actually care about.

January 17, 2013

You mean how much rejection cuts SOME guys. I've had friends that literally hit on everything that walked and when they got rejected it was on to the next one like nothing happened.

You read the entire post right? I was referring to rejection further down the road than hitting on a woman.

January 17, 2013

Hitting on random girls is completely different from getting by rejected by girls that you actually care about.

It does hurt, but sooner or later you develop the callouses needed to firm the hit. You have to know how to take it, otherwise it will always cut. It does hurt, I won't lie. But I learned to get over it.

January 17, 2013

I'm going to make a non typical (for me) statement. I don't think most women understand how much rejection cuts a guy. I'm not talking about turned down from getting a number, or a date. I'M talking about getting rejected for some undisclosed reason a few weeks or months down the road. Id rather get out right rejected when i start talking to a woman 20 time than once 20 dates in.

I do understand the sting of rejection... as a girl who doesn't get many guys pursuing her, I've done a bit of pursuing myself and found the same as you. It was MUCH easier being rejected from the get go than having a guy kinda string me along a bit and THEN reject me. So I 100% agree with you there.

January 17, 2013

You read the entire post right? I was referring to rejection further down the road than hitting on a woman.

Sorry...I don't know how I misread your post. That's what I get for trying to work and post at the same time.

January 17, 2013

^^^ agree.

And interest in what way? Sexually? Thats easy. The hard one is having a guy interested in you. As a whole person. Not just sex.

Why is that so hard though? I have never had a problem with a guy being interested in all of me, assuming he is a guy who is open to being in a relationship. So do you girls mean that it's hard to find a guy who wants a relationship? Or do you all meet guys who want relationships but just not with you, I am confused?

January 17, 2013

I will amend my previous statements to include this....

While in college, I reconnected through facebook with a handful of male friends from high school, just to catch up, chat, see how life was going. A number of them confessed that they'd had a crush on me in high school, but were too afraid to say anything, thought they'd never have a chance in hell. I was stunned. I NEVER would've expected a single one of them to have any interest in me... and almost all of them were guys I would have been absolutely giddy to go on a date with. I wish they would've let me know they were interested.

I think the moral of this story and of the post is for guys to take chances and go for it. Guys who do so might be very pleasantly surprised.

Just as the OP didn't ask out the two women in the restaurant thinking they would reject him, those guys didn't ask you out thinking you would reject them. In truth they really rejected themselves.

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Above average women

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