kaylan Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I have a friend. Shes 23 and a relative noob to dating and relationships. I always chalked this up to her being sorta introverted and conservative. She didnt date much in high school, and said its because shes rather quiet until people get to know her. Plus she said she didnt fancy many of the dudes from her small town. And in college she didnt do the party scene much, and was very into her studies. To be honest, shes a VERY wholesome good girl. Now shes been dating her boyfriend for about a month. Hes her first real relationship. Thing is, the dude is in the military, and just left for a year a few weeks ago. They only knew each other for maybe a month before he left. Shes still a virgin surprisingly. He actually told her he didnt want to have sex with her and then leave her for a year. Sounds like a stand up thing to do. However, Im wondering if hes one of the good guys in the service. The thing is, a great portion of military relationships are rife with cheating and lack of truthfulness...be it the fault of the partner at home or the partner in the service. Its super rampant based on forums Ive read, people Ive known in the military, and people Ive known whove dated military people. Shes talked to me about her relationship, and she says she cries every night because she misses him. And personally, I feel she jumped into something way too serious, way too soon. And something way too serious for someone with her lack of experience. Im cautious about the guy feeling he hit the jack pot with a good girl whos untouched and will wait around for him. I mean, in my head, I see her as a mid teenager to be honest. I mean, based on her dating experience, thats how she comes off to me. Itd be VERY easy for the wrong guy to run circles around her, and I worry about that. I mean, when youve been through as much as many of us have been, youd hate to see your noob friends get played badly. Now, this guy shes with may very well be a great dude, and I sure as hell hope so....but theres also a chance hes another serviceman who runs amuck while hes abroad, and gf/wifey is none the wiser. And aside from all that...for this chick to be in emotional hell for a year waiting for a guy to come back that shes barely known yet is already sure shes in love with and sure that this is destiny? She legit feels her lack of a dating life was probably meant to lead her to him....and I hope they end up happily ever after....but Im realistic. First relationships dont generally last in our generation. So, I hope she doesnt have to feel that pain. Thoughts? I thought this would be a good topic. And no, Im not into this girl. Part of the reason I never really fell for her was because shes such a good girl and so opposite of who I am.
Els Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I think that you should just be there for her and let her make her own decisions without pushing her to do one thing or another. The guy sounds like a decent guy, especially as he chose not to take her virginity just before going off for military service, as a user would. Then again, it takes way more than decency to survive a LDR. Either way, only time will tell, and she'll get valuable experience from it.
Author kaylan Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I havent pushed her to do anything. Ive just given her friendly advice, told her I was concerned, and to just be careful. I told her shes very lucky though and that I hope it works out. Shes had a great fall. Shes moved out for the first time, landed a decent job, and what seems to be a decent guy for the time being. And youre right about valuable experience. Though shes inexperienced, shes plenty less naive than I lead on.
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