lostfairytales Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I've been dating this guy for a year, and everything was going like a fairytale. He always made me happy and said he loves me and goes out of his way to be with me. Then, today, I asked him how much he loves me. His response was that he didn't know, because he has no feelings. He went on to say that when people die, he doesn't feel anything and he doesn't love. He said he only wanted to make me happy. He also said he wanted to have sex with me all the time. I'm so confused right now about what to do. I really love him, but I don't plan on staying with a man who doesn't love or have emotions. However, a part of me keeps wondering if he really has no emotions or if he's just saying that for some weird reason, since I can't see someone with no emotions wanting to make anyone happy or doing many of the things he's done for me. I'm wondering, should I stay with him, or should I end the relationship? Am I overreacting?
the_entertainer1 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I echo your sentiments about not wanting to be with a man who doesn't love or feel anything. And I agree with your other point: why would a man who says he doesn't feel anything go out of his way to make other people happy? It sounds like a big turnaround for him. Are you sure he's not suffering from depression or something? Has anything else changed between you two lately? Is he going through personal stuff he's not sharing with you? I can't really tell you whether you should break up or not. If I were you, I'd try to have a few more conversations about why he's feeling this way. 1
chex Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 This is the definition of a psychopath, actually. About 1-2% of the population are psychopaths, it's not really awfully strange. And it's not necessarily a terrible thing, I think you'd find that many CEOs, and many neurosurgeons, people who have many other's lives depending on them, are actually psychopaths, because someone with emotions would be overwhelmed by the responsibility.
newmoon Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 lol, everyone has emotions, even someone who claims not to. he might just be not as in touch with them as most people are (could be a health/mental issue) - but the emotions are there. lots of people, both men and women have trouble expressing themselves and relationships are really put to the test when the other partner (you in this case) comes up against this difficulty. i have been with my bf for 1.5 years and he has never, not once, said 'i love you' or 'icare about you' etc. why do i stay? because he does show it and he can say other things that make me feel good enough. however, just last week i gave an ultimatum - it was so hard because it meant risking the relationship, but i told him ... i can no longer have sex with a man who cannot express to me how he feels in words. so, either tell me how you feel or i move on. it's been 4 days since that convo and he told me today he's trying to find the words. i think, in your case, you have to get to the root of his problem (i found out it was never said to my bf so he feels like it never needs to be said) and then see if you can get beyond it or not. he obviously has feelings for you if you've been together this long - i wouldn't give up yet, but certainly make it known that you cannot continue without what you need. lack of words/expression from our partner deprives us of the chance to let our love fully blossom, imo. i doubt you're dating someone with a severe mental issue - it would have come up before now - he's probabaly just really not emotionally aware
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 How on earth are you just uncovering this a year in??! 1
CptObvious Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 He's not a psycho. He's just trying too hard to be cool. He's right though, after you die you really can't give a **** about anyone you knew.
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