pinkie Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 So you got dumped. You were a bad girlfriend/boyfriend. (Lifestyle differences, character flaws, misunderstandings, trust issues, insecurity, cheating(?)).... But there was real love. There was compatibility on many levels, there was chemistry. Say you've been LC, apologized (heartfelt and true), admitted wrongdoings, owned your sh*t basically... And your dumper is considering giving you a second chance.. Waaaiiiittt forrrr itttt...... However, they say to you "your future actions will be the proof I need in order to make a decision on a reconciliation"... What future actions could they be? Obviously a change in the bad behavior, but could you be bold... buy gifts, send love notes, call once a week??? What exactly could you do to prove your actions to them? How will they know you're proving yourself if you aren't back together? Is this just a breadcrumb to make you jump through hoops and make a fool of yourself? Holding hope over your head? Thoughts?
Author pinkie Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Really SG? Then why post here? Has anyone ever made this request of their dumpee? How'd it work out? Thoughts Anyone else?
Fryderyk_Franciszek Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I'm with SG...why find out what random people think of a situation when you can just go to the source.
ScienceGal Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 You said you've been in contact and admitted everything. Their request is cryptic and doesn't specify whether your actions involve them or not. Do they want you to go about your life while they sneak peeks, or do they want you to "prove yourself" with grand gestures? There's nothing wrong with asking "can you please explain what you mean by that?" Didn't mean to be so short, but your ex is the only one that knows and your best bet is to ask rather than run around wondering. 1
fungusamungus Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Pretty obvious. If you know what was wrong in the relationship, fix it. Her saying that forces you show that 1) you paid attention to her when she told you what was wrong and you know WHY you were dumped in the first place and 2) you actually fixed that problem. So... if you were insecure and you lack of trust caused you to smother her... don't buy gifts or send love notes to her. Of course it could just be a "breadcrumb" and she could just be stringing you along, but you never know without taking the risk.
ScienceGal Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I also thought the ex is female, but the OP never mentioned.
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