whateveralready Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Sorry this is so long... We’ve known each other since we were kids…went through school together, lost touch, both got married and divorced (he has a kid) and met up again at a reunion. He called me 6 hours later and we started dating. Everything was fine for a while and then it all started going downhill. This is what has been going on for the past 18 months: He told me he loved me, and then he took it back and said he said it because it’s what he thought I wanted to hear. He had talked about the future and things we would do but it never happened. I never met his kid even though I asked a million times. He said yes to us meeting but again it never happened. He always denied that he was in a relationship to his kid even though she knew he was and told him so. I never re-met his family and friends either but they supposedly knew about me. He started disappearing (not retuning phone calls, text, emails, etc.) anywhere from a few days to two months. He will then get in contact with me; we talk and get together again. This has happened more times than I can count. Then he started lying. I found out that he is on a dating site even when he was with me…said he hadn’t been on it in along time and that he deleted the account (he didn’t). During his longest disappearing act (2 months) he met someone onthe dating site, started a relationship with her, gave her keys to his place (I never had keys) but she dumped him after 2 months. He called me after it happened, and because he “wanted to be honest” with me he told me about her and that he fell completely out of his mind in love with her but wouldn’t tell me what was so special about her. I completely freaked out. He said there was no way they were getting back together and I went back again 4 months ago. Things were going so incredibly well and I thought that maybe he finally understood what he had with me; He talked about us moving in together, getting married, having a baby etc., many times. I spent just about every night with him up until this past New Year’s Eve. He left me a message that he had his kid for NYE and NYD and I called him back, left a message flipping out because this is the 2nd year he’s blown me off for New Years. I didn’t hear from him until a few days ago after I left him a message that I wanted to get my stuff that was in his house. He called back and told me he was going to his mothers and that he is better off alone and that he still had feelings for the other woman. He told me he would stop over on his way back from his mothers and we would talk it out. He never showed up so I drove up to his place later at night because my gut instinct told me that he didn’t go to his mothers. I drove into the complex next to his so he wouldn’t see me but I could see his parking spaces and there was no car in either one. I had driven up there after NewYears but he was home alone. I then saw his car parked in this complex right across from his parking spots but out of view if you were by his building.I figure he did that in case I went up there. I had texted him asking him where he was and he replied that he was at his mother’s. I flipped out and texted him that I knew he was lying and that I knew he was home. He replied that this is the reason “we’re not together anymore”. I called him up but he had turned his phone off and I blasted him. I said things on the message in the heat of the moment that I regret now. Haven’t heard from him since. I don’t know if he’s with the other one (I don’t think so since she supposedly is back with her old ex). All I did was support (not financially) and love him. I just don’t understand why he lies and does what he does and why I keep taking him back. In my head I feel we've just broken up for good this time but I still love the guy, why I don’t know. Another thing is that he never drove to my house; I always had to go to his. This has gone on for the past 18 months. It seems like he's never satisfied with what he has. Obviously I don't trust him or what he says. Any insight as to why he’s such a liar a why I’m an idiot for putting up with it? Edited January 16, 2013 by whateveralready
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