Fondue Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hahaha, this was a new way to approach me. I don't know how to proceed now! I mentioned a few times on these boards that I'm a healthcare provider. I'm a "field clinician," so to speak. I make house calls to patients and provide medical treatment (most of the time, wound care). Since September, I was seeing an elderly lady after amputation, treating the amputation site. The wound finally healed up (perfectly, by the way), and the MD in charge finally agreed to discontinue wound treatment and all services. I finished my job. Since September to now, was seeing her 3x a week, unless I was off on that particular day. I started to get to know her family a little bit, this included her granddaughter-- whom happens to be in college, only a few years younger than me. She is beautiful. Gorgeous, really. Whenever we saw each other, we just made minor small talk, about her class/studies and general **** about their home country/culture. I never thought she may have been into me. Not one bit. She never gave off any hints. But we were definitely friendly to one another. I was blindsided today. So on the day of discharge, today, my patient is in tears. She is sad to see me leave her, as she has grown quite fond of me. FYI, all my patients love me. Before I leave, she hands me a note, saying it is from her granddaughter. I open it up, all it says is: "Come visit me." She was at the gym during my home visit today. She didn't leave her # or anything. Just that note. The hell am I supposed to do? I laughed and smiled, but that was about it. The patient, Grandma, doesn't speak much of English, so I was kind of at a loss at how to proceed. I wrote down my private number and told her to call me if she ever has any issues in the future. I told her it is my private#, not my work#-- I specially made sure she understood. Maybe she will pass it along to the grand daughter? DOes she even know what the grand daughter wrote? I dunno if it is appropriate for me to "just stop by" next week, or something. And if I do, what do I say? It is a big family. Grandma, parents, and kids (one of which, is her). How do I just approach this situation? I didn't know she was into me, but I guess she was. Now I want to pursue!
Samilia Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Well if it doesn't put your license on the line, I'd definitively drop by. You can check on the grand mother. You don't just write down "come visit me" for the hell of it. I don't get why she didn't include her phone number.
Author Fondue Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Well if it doesn't put your license on the line, I'd definitively drop by. You can check on the grand mother. You don't just write down "come visit me" for the hell of it. I don't get why she didn't include her phone number. That is what's confusing me. Like, it would make so much sense to just leave the phone# and arrange for something later. I was baffled by this. As far as the license goes, this is in the back of my mind, too. I have been approached sexually on many occurrences with this job, but I always declined due to professional reasons. This is a little different, she's genuinely someone I may be interested in .
Samilia Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Well my mom, who is 73, has a doctor who drops by sometimes. He'll bring her fruits and just check on her. I don't see anything wrong with it, I am actually glad that someone cares. You could drop by to see the grand mother, but maybe don't ask about the grand daughter, that way you don't put yourself on the line too much.
MrCastle Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 What's her ethnicity? Anyways, this is simple. The note said come visit me, so, go visit her.
Author Fondue Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 What's her ethnicity? Anyways, this is simple. The note said come visit me, so, go visit her. She is white. The thing about just showing up is that I will be knocking on her door, where her parents, grandparents, etc. are all living together. It'd be like, "uhhh, so I'm here for your daughter," without ever discussing with her prior. It is weird that she didn't leave me her number.
crude Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 It seems really obvious. If a gorgeous woman tells you to come visit her, forget about her phone number, get her address and go visit her. You're a field clitician after all.
MrCastle Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 She is white. The thing about just showing up is that I will be knocking on her door, where her parents, grandparents, etc. are all living together. It'd be like, "uhhh, so I'm here for your daughter," without ever discussing with her prior. It is weird that she didn't leave me her number. I'm sure she's mentioned something about you to her family if she really likes you. I don't think it's as serious as you're making it out to be. Pay her a visit. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You won't know unless you try. I'm not one to just leave gorgeous college vagina on the table for someone else to snag. I'm successful, but not to the point where I could miss out on a situation like this and not dwell on it afterwards.
2sure Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 You said the grandmother doesn't speak much English...or write it ... Could be the granddaughter simply wrote a note to you from the grandmother.
Author Fondue Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 You said the grandmother doesn't speak much English...or write it ... Could be the granddaughter simply wrote a note to you from the grandmother. Her g-ma speaks enough english to have a minor conversation with. She kept telling me how much she will miss me and asked me to stop by for some food sometime. She specifically said "this is from my granddaughter, Argi." After I read it, I specifically said, "your grand daughter, from upstairs, this is from her?" She said yes and re-affirmed it again after I laughed it off.
Author Fondue Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I'm sure she's mentioned something about you to her family if she really likes you. I don't think it's as serious as you're making it out to be. Pay her a visit. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You won't know unless you try. I'm not one to just leave gorgeous college vagina on the table for someone else to snag. I'm successful, but not to the point where I could miss out on a situation like this and not dwell on it afterwards. The thing is, I don't get shy or nervous about situations where there is at least a bit of control on my part. If I had her number, I would at least call her and joke around how she was forward with that move. Here, I feel like I will be going in blind. And even so, what If I do decide to visit and she isn't around. College kids have class. I'd have to time it pretty well. I just feel like I have very little control over this situation. Almost none. As far as vagina in general, the family seems a little reserved and a bit religious. They are traditional Greeks. As far as I am aware, Greek girls don't put out until they feel strong connections (at least, that's what I gather from other Greeks who tell me the same). It would be a commitment.
2sure Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Oh good! I hated writing that and hoped it wasn't the case. So, if the granddaughter lives upstairs you might be able to figure out her last name . I assume you know her first. Get googling, find her Facebook. If nothing else , you have her address, send a card in the mail with your contact info.
veggirl Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 You should have given grandma a note back to give to the granddaughter with your phone # or email on it. Since you didn't, maybe stop by with a small gift for grandma and include a note for her to give to her granddaughter with that info.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I wouldn't go into the family home "blind", it may be weird and uncomfortable for you. I would mail a handwritten letter to the granddaughter, assuming you can't find her e-mail/FB. In the note ask her to have dinner with you (or whatever you want to suggest) and write your number asking her to give you a call to arrange the details. 1
Author Fondue Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 UPDATE: So it was about 2.5weeks since this occurred, so I decided maybe today was a good day to act upon this. I had a "light" day today, and I ended up in that area of town anyway, so I figured, "why not?" I rang the doorbell, and the family greeted me with open arms. The patient herself was had a bit of a tear, she loved me dearly. Big hugs, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, the patient, the patient's son, the grandson, and the granddaughter (the GIRL) were all present. They fed me some treats, gave me coffee, and kind of talked for about 45minutes. The girl was present through all this, we made eye contact a few times, snuck a smile in, and exchanged a few words. Mostly the patient's son was talking, telling me about his job. The patient was also in the conversation, but mostly just telling me how much she missed me. I tried and tried include the girl in the convo, ask her about school and stuff, she did reply enthusiastically (or so, it appeared), but the other two kept going back to what they were talking about. Eventually, during our coffee time, the girl leaves and is no where to be found. I figured she didn't care at this point and I left it at that. I tried to announce that I would be leaving soon, so the patient decided to cook me a few things to take home with me. This was a very nice gesture. During this, I decided to go to the next room and say "hi" to the grandson and talk about video games. That's what him and I used to talk about all the time. The girl comes back and yells out, "hey! you should let him play with my car! (they were talking about that new Need for Speed game)" I politely declined as I really don't like racing games, but whatever. This was probably my mistake. I made a few jokes about the Bugatti and how it would suck to lose that car in a bet in real life, we laughed, and that was that. I didn't look at her once through this, I was watching the grandson play the game. I think this too, was a mistake. I didn't engage her in convo. I think this was my best opportunity to do so, and I blew it. I didn't even realize I blew it until right now, as I am typing this. She goes off to the living room again, and I follow about 2 minutes later. I see she is getting ready to go to the gym, and I see my "food" that they prepared for me was ready as well. I signal that I will be leaving soon and that I need to put my clothes on and ago. At the same time, the daughter said the same thing, she was leaving. She stalled a for about 2 minutes as I was still trying to end the conversations and do the goodbyes, but I guess it took too long. She left. I thought I would quickly jet out and meet her outside, hoping she might have been signaling me to go out the door with her, but I was too late. She wasn't around. I dunno if I blew it, or I misread the signals, or she genuinely lost interest. We will never know. I dunno if I should come back and see them again. They really wanted me to come back and asked me to see them soon, but I dunno. I do know she has a facebook, but I have had a personal rule since day 1 that I will never request a friend on that thing. So unless she knows how to spell in Russian characters, I doubt she will find me. Hahhaha. Thought I would share . Thanks for reading.
sid3 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 UPDATE: So it was about 2.5weeks since this occurred, so I decided maybe today was a good day to act upon this. I had a "light" day today, and I ended up in that area of town anyway, so I figured, "why not?" I rang the doorbell, and the family greeted me with open arms. The patient herself was had a bit of a tear, she loved me dearly. Big hugs, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, the patient, the patient's son, the grandson, and the granddaughter (the GIRL) were all present. They fed me some treats, gave me coffee, and kind of talked for about 45minutes. The girl was present through all this, we made eye contact a few times, snuck a smile in, and exchanged a few words. Mostly the patient's son was talking, telling me about his job. The patient was also in the conversation, but mostly just telling me how much she missed me. I tried and tried include the girl in the convo, ask her about school and stuff, she did reply enthusiastically (or so, it appeared), but the other two kept going back to what they were talking about. Eventually, during our coffee time, the girl leaves and is no where to be found. I figured she didn't care at this point and I left it at that. I tried to announce that I would be leaving soon, so the patient decided to cook me a few things to take home with me. This was a very nice gesture. During this, I decided to go to the next room and say "hi" to the grandson and talk about video games. That's what him and I used to talk about all the time. The girl comes back and yells out, "hey! you should let him play with my car! (they were talking about that new Need for Speed game)" I politely declined as I really don't like racing games, but whatever. This was probably my mistake. I made a few jokes about the Bugatti and how it would suck to lose that car in a bet in real life, we laughed, and that was that. I didn't look at her once through this, I was watching the grandson play the game. I think this too, was a mistake. I didn't engage her in convo. I think this was my best opportunity to do so, and I blew it. I didn't even realize I blew it until right now, as I am typing this. She goes off to the living room again, and I follow about 2 minutes later. I see she is getting ready to go to the gym, and I see my "food" that they prepared for me was ready as well. I signal that I will be leaving soon and that I need to put my clothes on and ago. At the same time, the daughter said the same thing, she was leaving. She stalled a for about 2 minutes as I was still trying to end the conversations and do the goodbyes, but I guess it took too long. She left. I thought I would quickly jet out and meet her outside, hoping she might have been signaling me to go out the door with her, but I was too late. She wasn't around. I dunno if I blew it, or I misread the signals, or she genuinely lost interest. We will never know. I dunno if I should come back and see them again. They really wanted me to come back and asked me to see them soon, but I dunno. I do know she has a facebook, but I have had a personal rule since day 1 that I will never request a friend on that thing. So unless she knows how to spell in Russian characters, I doubt she will find me. Hahhaha. Thought I would share . Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing! I agree with you. I think you blew it. Although if you learn from your experience, it won't be a total loss.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 That wasn't a really easily identifiable situation to understand and read...personally I would have questioned the note and tried to understand what it meant exactly. I mean without a phone number or form of contact I'd have been a little "wtf", and If I was that comfortable with the family I'd have likely made a play on it in some way. But I'm not afraid to embarrass myself if necessary, plus it's good to be charming and assertive. In these types of situations you've got to react fast, if you're going to make a move try and make it quickly or as soon as the right moment appears try and make it happen, otherwise any delay an the window is going to close in on you. Men typically wait too long, usually right after the window closes and then try and make a move...and THAT is when it comes off awkward, when you react right away it seems more "appropriate"...once you go home and think about it and come up with a "plan" and all that you're just letting that ship sail all the farther. To be fair, the situation was shaky and didn't provide a real good opportunity to talk to her...at least in the sense of getting "settled in" for the right moment, but there was some and sometimes it's just got to be direct and a little confrontational...especially if she did in fact already send you a note, that's essentially the green light to make a move and with it should come confidence and assertiveness. Women usually hate when they give men the green light or make some kind of gesture to show interest and the guy just sits there aloof on his hands...granted hers was not very clear, however if she did right that note that means it suffices for her and the rest is up to you to make a move on, she's not going to make it THAT easy for you. And the worst thing that could happen is you get a bit embarrassed but as long as you handle it with poise and are able to laugh at yourself these situations really aren't that big of a deal that people make them out to be if it "fails"...the family knows you aren't a dirt bag and not some stranger, and there's always some risk involved and with a beauty like her you could have justified the cause Judging from her demeanor I didn't see a real strong effort to talk to you, but that just may have been the way she is. I've had women make strong advances in really inappropriate situations when I was younger that even rattled me a bit, but you've got to be able to go with the flow and not take it so seriously. After all you're just try to date her...she is a girl, you are a boy...it's ok to be interested in her. I would personally maybe "drop by" again in the future...maybe you can leave a "note" for the grand daughter, maybe something a little more nice than a piece of paper though. Really make a play at it man, don't be chicken over it. The worst thing that can happen is embarrassment...the best thing that can happen is her phone number and even a date...which, not to mention you already received a note from her that said "Come visit me"...why don't you come visit her again and ask her out or leave her a nice little card or something? You keep sticking to your comfort zone, you're going to have a lot more regrets than successes and even if you failed, at least you learned something and hopefully how to improve your "game" so to speak, women don't hate the "game" they hate being played...they want someone with enough courage and confidence to get what they want...and trust me, there's a lot of women like her being picked up by the douchebags because maybe a nice guy like yourself was too afraid to pull the trigger....don't let it happen. NOW GO GET EM TIGER!!!
Author Fondue Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Thanks for the detailed reply, Ninja. I don't really have much of a confidence issue, I don't really get nervous in social situations like these too much... But I've always, ALWAYS, just been oblivious to things. Not striking at the opportunity, has been a major flaw in my "game" since I could remember. Either I don't see the opportunity until I realize it way later, or I simply don't think of it as an opportunity until I re-assess the situation-- sort of like a debriefing. For example, when she came in the room today while I was checking out the game. There was about a 3minute pause where we were watching her brother play. It was pretty silent, she was standing next to me. I should have made conversation with her, but I totally didn't realize it was an opportunity as I was simply enjoying watching that dude play teh game. I didn't even THINK about it. Now that I am reviewing it all, I think to myself, "holy ****, she was probably waiting for me to talk to her..." Oops.
todreaminblue Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 That is what's confusing me. Like, it would make so much sense to just leave the phone# and arrange for something later. I was baffled by this. As far as the license goes, this is in the back of my mind, too. I have been approached sexually on many occurrences with this job, but I always declined due to professional reasons. This is a little different, she's genuinely someone I may be interested in . Maybe she was nervous and it was a spur of the moment note so she went three words only .....going crap i hope this isnt too forward, whatever it is eternal sunshine had a really thoughtful idea on what to do ...i wish you luck...deb
ascendotum Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I think you blew it too, though it was hardly the ideal setting with all the family members hanging around (& hogging the conversation) plus throw in the fact that the girl was not helping you out by creating opportunities or appearing more enthusiastic by your visit. There was the opportunity when you broke away to talk to the grandson and talk about video games. You should have mentioned the note then when she was in the room or given her more eye contact & smiles to get a more positive response from her to confirm that she has feelings for you. To me that note she left you prior, I would assume it indicated she liked you and wanted to have the opportunity to see you again. I really thought she could have waited for you outside before going to the gym to chat with you 1 on 1 if she felt uncomfortable with the family hanging around. If she was interested in you, then she blew it too. Shame. Its good to get a follow up outcome on posts like this.
Divasu Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Wait. Elderly woman as in senior citizen hitting on you?
rushingwaters Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Yeah..you blew it. But you can still fix it if you really want to. It'll take some work though. Showing up again so soon might be questionable. So the only other form of communication you have is... *drumroll* SNAIL MAIL. Since everyone was so warm and welcoming to you (and you have their address), you can mail the family a package of little gifts for each family member, thanking them for their hospitality. Like a race car for the grandson. One of those re-usable water bottles for the granddaughter (for when she goes to the gym). You can stick a note inside the water bottle with your number on it. Make sure she can see the note though... some water bottles are dark. Who knows, maybe she's still interested in you. Only one way to find out right?
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 OMG DONT DO ANYTHING UNTIL IT IS CLEARED DO NOT RISK YOUR LICENSE OR ETHICS VIOLATIONS. These are SERIOUS issues that arise from situations like these. Just get it cleared first.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Yeah you blew it big time. It happens. I've blown my share as well because I didn't follow through or act on things. Life goes on.
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