jnmizell Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hello all. I just need some opinions as to what I should do. I dated my ex for 3 years. We were serious enough to talk about moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, etc. However, things took a turn for the worst when my mood swings and behavior began to worsen. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have said and ultimately, it ended the relationship in May 2012. I was labeled "verbally abusive" and "insane".Following the breakup, my mental and physical health just got worse. I thought I had an anxiety disorder. Yes, my behavior and personality had changed. But I was also forgetting everything, having trouble speaking, blacking out, having dizzy spells, etc. I thought my ex was over me until he texted me in October letting me know his dad had died. He told me he was thinking about getting back together but he needed time to think about it. I gave him 2 months and he decided that we are officially over. When I spoke to him during that time, I didn't tell him what was going on with me. I also did everything in my power to make sure I said the right things. My efforts were squashed and he still thinks Im crazy. Well, I ended up having 2 seizures after he declared we were over on December 4th. I had an MRI done and I have a brain tumor the size of an orange in my left temporal lobe. All I know is that I have an open craniaotomy in a few weeks because it's threatening my life. I have no idea what the outcome of this will be. Should I tell my ex? I still love and miss him.
cottom Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 tell him, it will give him time to get comfort for himself if he knew rather than the sudden knews you passed away if the operation was unsuccesful.
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hey I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. That is so tough to be going thru. Makes this BU stuff look like childs play in comparison. I would tell him personally. But i don't know how that will make you feel? If you think it would be to hard on you then don't. You need to take care of yourself 1st and your emotional and physical health. 1
Stoic44 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Gosh tough one. First thing is I hope you get better and that the surgery goes well. I would definitely tell him, since it appears a medical condition contributed to the breakup. You may not get back together, but at least he will be able to understand the situation and he probably would want to know about something so serious. Good luck.
ScienceGal Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I think telling him might clear your mind. Being called "verbally abusive" and "insane" isn't a good feeling. Just realize that even though there is a medical explanation, he might not accept it. If you decide to tell him, don't get your hopes up for positive response. Good luck.
crashvector Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I think telling him might clear your mind. Being called "verbally abusive" and "insane" isn't a good feeling. Just realize that even though there is a medical explanation, he might not accept it. If you decide to tell him, don't get your hopes up for positive response. Good luck. Take it from someone who knows...a medical condition won't be enough to change his mind. The thing is: he already made the decision to leave. My ex wife said some pretty mean things to me when she found out I have bipolar disorder....as in...she made it worse. You might be able to explain to him your condition, but I wouldn't expect him to take you back or something.
itsmyfault Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Tell him, he may not want a relationship with you but that sure as hell doesn't mean he still dones't care for you. If he is made aware he can either prepare for the worst or not care... either way I think you should tell him. One thing though, tell him and look after yourself, don't get involved again until you are in the clear.
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