Should I confess my feelings after only 4 months?

[ThatDudeXO]

I've been dating someone for around 4 months and having sex with her for 3 months. I love spending time with her and the sex is amazing. I live an hour away so we see each other like once every 2 weeks.

 

Everything was great until I realised that I'm actually in love with her. I tried to deny it since it's only been 4 months but I can't stop thinking about her, even when other girls are openly interested in me.

 

She randomly started talking about her bestfriend and her bf, she mentioned that you should know if you love someone after atleast 3 or 4 month of being together. Pretty much the same time we've been seeing each other...I thought it was a hint that she loves me or I should know if I love her by then. I avoided the answer even though I know I love her.

 

We just saw each other in the weekend and had a great time together until the morning I left as she woke up in a horrible mood because she didn't sleep well and she had to do a lot of work while feeliing tired and she overslept a telephone appointment with the doctors because she was so tired. (I've been having trouble sleeping well next to her as I keep waking up at random times and find it hard to get back to sleep)

 

I felt it was my fault and kept apologising even though she said it isn't my fault. She hates when I apologise too much, I just explained that I get nervous around her because I like her...so I apologise when I feel I'm at fault. Even though we had a great time, the way it ended really upsetted me. It hurt me to see her almost in tears.

 

The conversation about love we had makes me feel like she feels the same. I don't want to lose her because I don't want to think I'm just in it for the sex or whatever.

I'm seeing her on Saturday and I'm planning on telling her that I love her, however I don't know how or if I should. Should I tell her how I feel? If so, how do I go about explaining it?

[SJC2008]

I've been dating someone for around 4 months and having sex with her for 3 months. I love spending time with her and the sex is amazing. I live an hour away so we see each other like once every 2 weeks.

 

Everything was great until I realised that I'm actually in love with her. I tried to deny it since it's only been 4 months but I can't stop thinking about her, even when other girls are openly interested in me.

 

She randomly started talking about her bestfriend and her bf, she mentioned that you should know if you love someone after atleast 3 or 4 month of being together. Pretty much the same time we've been seeing each other...I thought it was a hint that she loves me or I should know if I love her by then. I avoided the answer even though I know I love her.

 

We just saw each other in the weekend and had a great time together until the morning I left as she woke up in a horrible mood because she didn't sleep well and she had to do a lot of work while feeliing tired and she overslept a telephone appointment with the doctors because she was so tired. (I've been having trouble sleeping well next to her as I keep waking up at random times and find it hard to get back to sleep)

 

I felt it was my fault and kept apologising even though she said it isn't my fault. She hates when I apologise too much, I just explained that I get nervous around her because I like her...so I apologise when I feel I'm at fault. Even though we had a great time, the way it ended really upsetted me. It hurt me to see her almost in tears.

 

The conversation about love we had makes me feel like she feels the same. I don't want to lose her because I don't want to think I'm just in it for the sex or whatever.

 

I'm seeing her on Saturday and I'm planning on telling her that I love her, however I don't know how or if I should. Should I tell her how I feel? If so, how do I go about explaining it?

 

It takes about 3-6 months to get to know somene. You may be infatuated or have a stong emotional attraction to her. Yes you may even love her but you might want to wait longer so you know 100%. Are you exclusive with each other? Mabye you can start off with "I'm glad we met, I want to get closer to you".

Edited January 16, 2013 by SJC2008
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[soccerrprp]

It takes about 3-6 months to get to know somene. You may be infatuated or have a stong emotional attraction to her. Yes you may even love her but you might want to wait longer so you know 100%. Are you exclusive with each other? Mabye you can start off with "I'm glad we met, I want to get closer to you".

 

I "could"/"may" take "some" people 3-6 months to get to know someone. Other less, others more.

 

I told my late wife that I loved her after 2-weeks of dating! Married her within 9-months and had a wonderful 12-yr marriage.

 

I would try to gauge where she is in the relationship. How she feels. When I told my late wife after 2-weeks, she was surprised and wasn't at the same place. Fortunately, she liked me enough not to run!

 

Get a good sense of where she is and decide then. Too early and she may feel pressured...good luck.

[Ruby Slippers]

Tell her.

 

And as for your tendency to apologize too much, just stop doing that. It's never attractive, in anybody.

[soccerrprp]

Studies seem to favor the confession ESPECIALLY after you've had sex with the lady. So, not too certain why I had to add that, but I did.

 

Good luck!

[Brunettie]

Yes, tell her.

[ThatDudeXO]

Thank you so much guys. I think will....now I need to figure out how I'll do it.

 

How do I go about explaining my feelings? Should I say it at the beginning, middle or end of the date?

 

I'm so nervous because I don't know how she'll react and I know she'll be surprised.

[Ruby Slippers]

Tell her when the moment is right. Don't plan it. Say it when you feel it and there's some romance in the air

[HitMeNow]

Thank you so much guys. I think will....now I need to figure out how I'll do it.

 

How do I go about explaining my feelings? Should I say it at the beginning, middle or end of the date?

 

I'm so nervous because I don't know how she'll react and I know she'll be surprised.

 

Dont say you're in love. That sounds way too eager. Say your feelings have been growing a lot and open a channel of communication on both of your feelings.

 

Remember delivery is key. Be confident about it, nonchalant. Do not expect anything out of her. She will take it in and choose what to say.

 

Also the above poster is right don't plan it. Usually after sex it's best IMO, since people are more rational, more comfy and less horny .

 

**** I feel so good at giving advice to others . Too bad Im a mess when it comes to my decisions.

[clia]

Usually after sex it's best IMO, since people are more rational, more comfy and less horny .

 

No, don't tell her you love her for the first time after sex! Or during! Find the right moment when all your clothes are on.

[KungFuJoe]

I "could"/"may" take "some" people 3-6 months to get to know someone. Other less, others more.

 

I told my late wife that I loved her after 2-weeks of dating! Married her within 9-months and had a wonderful 12-yr marriage.

 

I would try to gauge where she is in the relationship. How she feels. When I told my late wife after 2-weeks, she was surprised and wasn't at the same place. Fortunately, she liked me enough not to run!

 

Get a good sense of where she is and decide then. Too early and she may feel pressured...good luck.

 

Same here. I told my current wife that I loved her within weeks and I was NEVER one to say "I love you" first. She proposed to me a little over a year later and we have been married ever since for over 10 years.

 

When you know, you know.

 

Op, honestly it sounds like you're NOT in love with her...YET. The fact that you're apologizing all the time and nervous. And probably the biggest fact is that you're asking whether or not you should say it on a public forum.

 

When you're REALLY in love. There is no question. There is no doubt. It's the surest thing in the world you can ever feel.

 

Basically...if you have to ask...then you're not.

[AMusing]

People are so hurried to get through these stages of a relationship that they forget to relish each stage as it happens. The feeling of falling in love is amazing; don't try to hurry through that so you can say you are in love. Enjoy the process.

 

That said, sometimes people fall in love very quickly (as per previous posters). They are very lucky & sweet. They are also more of an exception than the rule.

[Casablanca]

Take a cue from Billy Joel

 

You know I don't like watching

Anybody make the same mistakes

I made

 

She's a real nice girl

And she's always there for you

But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

 

Listen boy

I'm sure that you think you got it all

Under control

 

You don't want somebody telling you

The way to stay in someone's soul

 

You're a big boy now

You'll never let her go

But that's just the kind of thing

She ought to know

 

Tell her about it

Tell her everything you feel

Give her every reason to accept

That you're for real

 

Tell her about it

Tell her all your crazy dreams

Let her know you need her

Let her know how much she means

 

Listen boy

It's not automatically a certain guarantee

To insure yourself

You've got to provide communication constantly

 

When you love someone

You're always insecure

And there's only one good way

To reassure

 

Tell her about it

Let her know how much you care

When she can't be with you

Tell her you wish you were there

 

Tell her about it

Every day before you leave

Pay her some attention

Give her something to believe

 

Cause now and then

She'll get to worrying

Just because you haven't spoken

For so long

Though you may not have done anything

Will that be a consolation when she's gone

 

Listen boy

It's good information from a man

Who's made mistakes

 

Just a word or two that she gets from you

Could be the difference that it makes

 

She's a trusting soul

She's put her trust in you

But a girl like that won't tell you

What you should do

 

Tell her about it

Tell her everything you feel

Give her every reason

To accept that you're for real

 

Tell her about it

Tell her all your crazy dreams

Let her know you need her

Let her know how much she means

 

Tell her about it

Tell her how you feel right now

Tell her about it

The girl don't want to wait too long

You got to tell her about it

Tell her now and you won't go wrong

You got to tell her about it

Before it gets too late

You got to tell her about it

You know the girl don't want

To wait--you got to

Tell her about it

[Ruby Slippers]

Awww, this is a sweet thread. I am feelin' the love

 

When you're REALLY in love. There is no question. There is no doubt. It's the surest thing in the world you can ever feel.

 

Basically...if you have to ask...then you're not.

I love you, Joe, but I think it's easy for a guy with an exceptionally happy, positive marriage to say this after years of marriage. This guy says he loves her, but is feeling scared about whether she loves him back or not. That's normal! He's not asking if he loves her - he's asking if he should tell.

 

People are so hurried to get through these stages of a relationship that they forget to relish each stage as it happens. The feeling of falling in love is amazing; don't try to hurry through that so you can say you are in love. Enjoy the process.

 

That said, sometimes people fall in love very quickly (as per previous posters). They are very lucky & sweet. They are also more of an exception than the rule.

Yes! Love is a personal experience with a lot of variety. There are certain commonalities, but every love is unique

[oohlala]

I think 4 months is more than a reasonable amount of time. If you love her, tell her. I actually don't think anyone but one person I've been involved with has waited that long. I agree with the other person who said though to most definitely do it with your clothes on.

 

Oh but remember - underwear IS clothing. lol.

[ThatDudeXO]

Thank you so much for the responses guys. Gives me a bit more confidence

 

Tommorow is the big day. In less than 24 hours I'll know where this is heading. Never knew saying I love you would be a big deal. I just hope it all goes well.

 

Just to make it clear, I know I love her....it's just that I don't know whether to say it or not.....or even if she'll say it back.

 

I feel like I need to get it off my chest.....

[HitMeNow]

Haha. Im in your same boat bro. Today is my day.

 

Good Luck. And ye IMHO, don't tell her you love her. Just talk about feelings, but you will know better when the time comes.

[Casablanca]

Thank you so much for the responses guys. Gives me a bit more confidence

 

Tommorow is the big day. In less than 24 hours I'll know where this is heading. Never knew saying I love you would be a big deal. I just hope it all goes well.

 

Just to make it clear, I know I love her....it's just that I don't know whether to say it or not.....or even if she'll say it back.

 

I feel like I need to get it off my chest.....

Good luck! Let us know how it goes

[HitMeNow]

Dude tell us how it went (pretty good for me), and guessing by the fact that you haven't posted it should have been good for you too.

[miss_jaclynrae]

TELLLLL HERRRRRR!!!!

 

 

 

I bet you a million dollars she is waiting like crazy for you to say it.

[ThatDudeXO]

Hey guys....I wanted to post but I just wasn't in the mood.

 

We were supposed to go out on on another date but she cancelled on me last minute because she was sufferring from period pains. I said I wanted to see her anyway but she said she's feeling too hormonal. She apologised and said "it's gotta wait."

 

Thanks again for the advice guys. I'll keep you updated. If it all goes well...I'll thank you guys even more for helping me in this special time

[ThatDudeXO]

TELLLLL HERRRRRR!!!!

 

 

 

I bet you a million dollars she is waiting like crazy for you to say it.

 

I really hope so :love:

[HitMeNow]

Hey guys....I wanted to post but I just wasn't in the mood.

 

We were supposed to go out on on another date but she cancelled on me last minute because she was sufferring from period pains. I said I wanted to see her anyway but she said she's feeling too hormonal. She apologised and said "it's gotta wait."

 

Thanks again for the advice guys. I'll keep you updated. If it all goes well...I'll thank you guys even more for helping me in this special time

 

Ye, I had the same thing. (She never told me it was her periods), but you know one can do the maths. Just let her reschedule and come to you and make no big deal out of it.

 

One thing where girls and guys differ is........... periods. lol

 

You pretty much did your job and showed her you're fully interested.

 

Say no to X & O btw .

[HitMeNow]

Give us updates dude

[Astra5]

I say follow your heart... but dont just blab it out... warm up and work up to it. Talk about feelings and where you are and how you want to be with her and stay with her and see where it goes.... express how much she means to you and that your really enjoying where the relationship is going... If it goes good from there then hint at it before you come out and say it....