lnewms Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 My ex and I met at the university we both attend. We were close friends for around a year when we realized we had feelings for each other. We were together for nine months before we decided to call it quits about a week ago. Ultimately, we decided to 'take a break.' He was going to be living a working (at a co-op) five and a half hours away (an 11 hour drive there and back), and I wanted him to visit me every other weekend... which he said he didn't want to do, that it would be too much. He asked if I wanted to stay together if we didn't see each other too much... and I told him I don't know. He suggested we take a break (we'll both be living on campus over the summer). I was devastated, but felt like if he wasn't willing to see me, he didn't care. At the end of the convo he promised me he would always want me to be apart of his life. My friends all suggested I go No Contact-- which I was able to do for about five days. But it SUCKED not being able to talk to my best friend. I wanted to tell him everything something good or bad happened and couldn't. We always talked about open communication while we were dating, and so I decided no contact felt like a mind game. I asked him if he was able to talk, and he said yes, and we skyped that night. I told him I felt like the space was good for us (which i really do think, it's good to feel like I can be happy on my own) but that I wanted a redo on our break up convo. That maybe we should still take some time, but that I wanted to talk about working things out// going forward in our relationship. That I wanted to compromise... maybe meet somewhere in the middle, see each other a little less. He said he needed a little more time, like a week, but then he would definitley be receptive to talking about it. We decided to keep our distance for a bit, but then talk again in a week or so. What does everyone think? Is he just trying to not upset me-- or is getting back together a real consideration for him?
JDP25 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I would do the no contact, if you still talk to him keep it minimal. I recently got out of a relationship about 3 weeks ago as for me being a guy I can see how your feeling. At first I felt like I needed the contact with my ex but what I ended up doing after I realized that we were meant to do different things in life. Its a good thing we came to an end because after a few weeks from the break up we both have realized that this is the direction and path we suppose to be. I left it to fate if we get back together. Best advice I can give is go enjoy life and hang out with friends that make you feel. Talk to others and see there perspective about this. I just finished talking to one my instructors from my old college and see his point of view. Made me see things differently about the relationship I was in. I feel more positive about things now. Never look at the bad things of the relationship but the good side of things as in where it brought you and what you learned from it. I learned a lot and that is how life goes you fall and get back up and learn. LIVE LEARN LOVE
SharkTooth Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 From past experiance for me. I had to be 1,000 miles away from my ex for like 4 months when we had been together for a few months. It was hard but incredablely easy at the same time. We were madly in love and knowing that the distance was short term made it great to look forward to seeing each other. Be patient and see what becomes of the talk next week. I would also consider alternating the every other weekend trip, that way you guys only do the drive once a month. Just a thought. I hope it works out for you!
Author lnewms Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 I get that No Contact works a lot, especially when trying to get over someone. It's helping me, for sure, but because we didn't break up for lack of feelings on either side... I feel like if it matters enough to both of us, it could work. I guess I was asking for an opinion on something different from what you interpreted, but thanks anyways
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