Only 3months - Time goes by quickly and broke Nc

[Tmo2]

Hi everyone,

 

For the readers that don't know my history, well, I got dumped 3 months ago- stayed LC for 2 months, met her then went NC ever since (1 month). The reasons for the breakup are plenty and on both sides: I became needy and lost ambition. I pretty much was going no where and neglecting my relationship (no fun). On her side of things, she did not tell me that things were going down the drain (bad communication), things got boring. I was her first boyfriend and we lasted 2.5 years (hurrah). We are 24-23 y.o. and were long distance during school year.

 

The connection was deep while it lasted. Shortly before the breakup she was sending me signs that things weren't going well but I did not see. I had been smoking pot and it really blinded me from reality. I lost myself in this relationship and in turn lost a women that I love. I have done allot of soul searching as they say and things are looking great for me.

This BU happened in a very important stage of my life, it made me grow up. And I believe it is also a good thing for her, since I was her first, she never had any other experiences. I hope our paths will cross again one day. I love who she is, and how she made me feel. I simply regret not living up to my own expectations.

 

I broke Nc this morning, I tried calling her yesterday but she was not home, so I sent her a message. It was something like this (translated) :

 

I decided to call you yesterday to receive some news. I hope that things are going well on your side and that going back to school was easy on you. How is family?

On my side of things all is well, time goes by quickly since I came back from vacation. I am enthusiastic about my classes this semester and I am eager to start my big project. Write me back when you will be ready.

-Tmo2

 

I felt like I made progress and it was ok to contact. I however don't want to get a conversation going. I told her not to contact me last time we spoke, and that's not to long ago. Maybe I wrote to her to quickly, but in my mind there has been allot of moving forward. I am writing this message mostly to vent, and also to share thoughts of what should be done.

 

Even though I love her, the relationship is over, is it a problem that we keep in touch? I am now open to receive love from others and started looking at women romantically again.

 

ps. I intend on continuing Nc for a while-

[TaraMaiden]

 

The connection was deep while it lasted.

 

Obviously not as deep as you hoped. Certainly not as deep on her side, methinks....

 

I broke Nc this morning, I tried calling her yesterday but she was not home, so I sent her a message. It was something like this (translated)

The original language is immaterial.

You shouldn't have broken NC.

 

What the heck are you REALLY trying to achieve here??

 

I decided to call you yesterday to receive some news. I hope that things are going well on your side and that going back to school was easy on you. How is family?

On my side of things all is well, time goes by quickly since I came back from vacation. I am enthusiastic about my classes this semester and I am eager to start my big project. Write me back when you will be ready.

-Tmo2

Absolutely totally utterly pointless and inconsequential message.

Nothing there she really needed to know, nothing there you really owed her to tell her....

 

This is just a wave in the air with a white handkerchief, and all it says is - "Please notice me and don't forget me!!"

 

 

I felt like I made progress and it was ok to contact. I however don't want to get a conversation going.

Untrue.

"Write me back when you will be ready...." means you are awaiting a response.

And that is so unfair of you.

 

I told her not to contact me last time we spoke, and that's not to long ago. Maybe I wrote to her to quickly, but in my mind there has been allot of moving forward. I am writing this message mostly to vent, and also to share thoughts of what should be done.

 

What you SHOULD have done is checked up with us to see whether we thought it would be a good idea to break NC - and I promise you, the replies you got would have been a resounding "Absolutely not, No!!"

 

Yes, you wrote to her far too quickly.

And now, you're here, telling us, because - admit it - you want to hear from her.... Big mistake.

 

 

Even though I love her, the relationship is over, is it a problem that we keep in touch? I am now open to receive love from others and started looking at women romantically again.

 

Never, ever contact someone as a friend, when you still love them. because 'friendship but more in it', is a dreadful place to be.

You're hoping for a reply, for some kind of validation that you are still special to her.

 

I have to say, if I were she, I would not reply.

You have to hope she doesn't.

because there is nothing in this for you any more!!

 

ps. I intend on continuing Nc for a while-

Oh that's big of you - rattle her cage, get under her skin, break the rules - then go back into your silent world....?

 

 

I don't think you intend to do that at all.....

You just broke NC, so I don't believe that if she DOES reply, you will ignore it.

 

Have you actually read the No Contact Guide?

if so - did nothing actually register....?!

[Tmo2]

Hey thanks for the brutal honesty-

I understand how this is pointless but I just felt like doing it. I was happy all day and it felt ok with me.

You're hoping for a reply, for some kind of validation that you are still special to her.

Deep down this is unfortunately true. I know it was a mistake. I could have restrained myself, I miss her, I slipped, that's all.

[WordvAction]

You slipped up, rationalized it with some BS, got called out on it by another poster, and smartly took responsibility for your actions. Now, next time

You're thinking of going breaking NC, do something, anything to preoccupy your

Mind