Second Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hello everyone, I'm new to this page as I happened to chance upon it, so forgive me if I make any foolish mistakes on the forum. First, to start off, I am currently trying to cope and get used to things, days without her texts, her smell, touch and kiss. All in all, days without her by my side. She left me about a month ago, which was last year, 2012 on the 12th of December just when I had a surprise planned for her which was a couple ring that I had got done up in secret. You see, although it may seem foolish, but I'm a pretty much sentimental guy and I wanted to make 12/12/12 a memorable day, to which we already planned to go dating. When I was on my way home from school, (I was dismissed early as lessons were supposed to end in just 2 hours from morning) she said she was busy with school assignments and that she would want to stay at home doing. Upon knowing that she wasn't the sort to choose work over our dating time, I was a little upset and decided to prompt her for the reason. Out of all the other things she could told me, she said the things that I had least expected. That all along she was sub-consciously treating me as a substitute of her previous boyfriend, and that she has thought it through and decided to leave me to go back to him. It broke me so hard, and I started tearing in the bus. It was too much to take. I really don't know how to continue coping with my life even when it has already been a month. The days before she left me, we did not even quarrel or so, we were so happy together whenever we went out, at least I thought so. She said to me before, that she was a heartless person when it comes to such decisions, and that she wouldn't miss that person or so. I really need help, for I'm tearing almost every night and waking up to hints of sadness immediately. I'm too emotionally weak, and I can't act all strong as though nothing happened. Sorry for the long wall of text.
will1988 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 This is actually not as long as you might think... most people post their whole life story and every nitty gritty detail on here, so you are fine on that. It is tough going through break ups. I am assuming since you ride a bus and got let of class early, that you are still in high school; right? Anyway, the first cuts are the deepist as they say. Meaning, first break up (and a few after) hurt more than anything. I've been where you are now, and I am generally a physically and emotionally strong person. However, the break up with my first gf brought me to me knees so to speak. Your best bet to get over her is to focus on your studies more... do home work and essays early, study all the time. Also, are you in a clubs or sports after school? I'd suggest joining a club(s) or a sports team... Do something you've always wanted to do but you've never found the will to do it. As I said I'm a pretty masculine guy, but after my first GF dumped me (the begining of my sophmore year of college... we dated for about a year) I was a wreck for a months. I did nothing. I alienated my friends, and just wallowed in self pitty in my dorm room. I missed a lot of classes etc... However, I decided to hang out with my friends all the time and focus on school work... it all worked. I also decided to give theater a try. I came from a conservative family so theater was never an option for me growing up. I thought, well this would be a good place to meet girls and try something new. I met girls, and it kept me very busy, because I had a minor role in a play but I also was a techy. I actually found I enjoyed techy stuff more, so did another play the next semester. Anyway, sorry for rambeling about me.... however, these things could help. You need to keep busy. You need to invest a lot of time in things that are either new, mentally and or physically exciting but exhausting, or things you can excel at. Trust me it will work wonders. You may also want to talk to some other girls. Good luck!
Renard99 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Completely agree with what Will1988 says. You need to keep busy, with friends, with family or simply a hobby by yourself. I was also a wreck after my ex left me. I cried a lot. Even when I thought I'd stopped the feelings would creep up on me a few days later and all of a sudden I was a mess again. My house mates just avoided me. Sensing this, and with help from people here, I organised a few trips to the local bowling alley. What started as a couple of trips with about 3 people soon became groups of 12 and a regular event. It really did help as many new and happy memories were created during that time. The other thing that helps is simply time. I know it feels frustrating but as time moves on the emotional rollercoaster slowly levels out and you begin to see that there's life away from your ex. Unfortunately you have to let that rollercaoster run its course. It took me about 6 months before I began to feel normal and then another couple of months before I let it go completely. I do still think about my ex, mainly because I work in a building just down the road from her so occasionally bump into her, but it brings no emotional problems. As long as you keep looking forward and keep in mind that it will eventually end, you just need to let nature take its course. Just remember, you will get there. We all did and lived to tell the tale I wish you all the best mate 1
Keenly Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I went through your exact scenario. She was gorgeous... I was a three month rebound. It wasrerrible. She did all these little things for me that made it impossible not to fall completely for her. She gave me gifts. Always sent me a picture of how good she looked that day, sent me I miss yous and dirty texts begging me for sex. Then the breakup happened and it smashed me. It took about four months but I was semi okay after that. Hang in there man.l
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