brokenheartedgal Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 When I was at my boyfriend's house, he received a text message saying something along these lines, "I'm pregnant and you're the father! I didn't want to tell you this but when I found out on facebook that you're in a relationship with another girl, I just can't sit here and do nothing." My boyfriend that time was like, "That baby isn't mine." You could say I was shocked but I believed him regardless. He said that his ex was a flirt.. I loved him before knowing that he got his ex pregnant. We continued our relationship but the girl proved that the father was my boyfriend. I didn't know what they talked about because my boyfriend won't let us meet (his ex and I) But then, his ex moved to his house and he told me this, "Please understand what I'm going through right now" So I did. I can't afford to lose him because I really love him! The other day, his ex texted me lots of things saying that she's pregnant with her love's baby, she kept pushing me to my limit. I did answer some of her texts but not everything as I find it nonsense. WHAT DID I EVER DO WRONG? IS IT BECAUSE I CONTINUED THE RELATIONSHIP? BUT I LOVE HIM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WITH THIS SENTENCE BUT IT'S POWERFUL ENOUGH TO MAKE ME DO THINGS I HAVE NEVER IMAGINED OF. Then my boyfriend stopped texting me, I would get one text from him saying he loves me. I started questioning myself that if he really loves me, why don't I feel it and why doesn't he prove it? It was like his I love you's started becoming just words. So awhile ago, I broke up with him. And it seemed that he wasn't bothered by it. In fact, he told me this, "Don't be sad :)" as if our relationship was nothing. Tomorrow was supposedly our monthsary but we're over. I'm left here alone while he, he's enjoying his life with his ex. His ex told me lots of things, I believed some because it proved some point. But you know, it hurts. After all, it was him who approached me. It was him who wanted a commitment. And now that I gave him my best, he'd leave me as if I was nobody he cared for. I can't explain how sad it is because I swear it's beyond sad. Compared to other relationships I know this is nothing but it hurts, you know? I have feelings too. Oh my gosh what should I do? I know I should move on but I just can't! I want to forget him :'(
Balzac Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 "Tomorrow was supposedly our month (anniver)sary but we're over." Making sure I understand: your relationship was measured in weeks?
stillafool Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I can't afford to lose him because I really love him! ( You life is not dependent on having him in it. It is obvious this guy is a liar and be glad you were only with him 1 month. Sorry for your pain but one month is too soon to be head over heels in love with someone. You hardly knew this guy. I'm sorry you are so sad. How old are you? 1
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 But then, his ex moved to his house and he told me this, "Please understand what I'm going through right now" So I did. I can't afford to lose him because I really love him! Just because you love him doesn't mean you two have to be together. He's not handled this well at all, he's hurt you. And, sorry to say this, he's omitted/lied to you about his ex. They obviously weren't 'done' when he got involved with you. He is now a father, or going to be one - He allowed her to move in with him. That in itself shows you where his priorities are. Sadly, you have no choice but to accept this and let go. Sorry you're hurting. 1
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 "Tomorrow was supposedly our month (anniver)sary but we're over." Making sure I understand: your relationship was measured in weeks? Well, I know we haven't reached 2 months but I swear I did my best for us.. And it shouldn't hurt much but it still hurts. My pride as a girl too, was hurt...
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Just because you love him doesn't mean you two have to be together. He's not handled this well at all, he's hurt you. And, sorry to say this, he's omitted/lied to you about his ex. They obviously weren't 'done' when he got involved with you. He is now a father, or going to be one - He allowed her to move in with him. That in itself shows you where his priorities are. Sadly, you have no choice but to accept this and let go. Sorry you're hurting. Thanks for that. I know I might have sound so childish but it just hurts, you know? But I'm letting go for his happiness, now that he's already building a family :'( Sucks, though.
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 You life is not dependent on having him in it. It is obvious this guy is a liar and be glad you were only with him 1 month. Sorry for your pain but one month is too soon to be head over heels in love with someone. You hardly knew this guy. I'm sorry you are so sad. How old are you? I know that. I know and still, I forgot how to use my brain :| Thanks, by the way.. I'm 18.
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Today, he really is messing up with my heart. He just texted me that he misses me. :"( I'm sorry I'm new to this kind of problem so I really have no idea what to do and what not to do.. I'm sorry for bothering you guys
BetrayedH Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Your best bet is to move on. This young man has a lot of drama in his life because of his ex GF's pregnancy. He has to learn how to be a parent now. And I suspect he's going to make an effort to "do the right thing" by staying with her. But his "I miss you" text is a big indicator that he is Trouble (and with a capital T). I would bet he has made a lot of commitments to his "ex" and yet he is keeping you on a string. I would also bet that he has told lies to both of you and you discovered some of those lies during your conversation with the ex GF. Let these two have each other. You are 18 and have your entire life in front of you. You don't need some BF that has a baby with another girl. Honestly, your best bet here is to go "no contact" with him. Tell him to go sort out his life, good luck to him, and to leave you alone because you're moving on. If he contacts you after that, ignore it and delete it. Break ups always suck but the sooner you detach from him, the sooner you'll be detached from him. If you stay in contact with him, you won't move on. Let him go deal with the drama he's created. Understand that you weren't rejected; he now has a serious lifetime commitment to attend to. And you look forward towards a healthier (and hopefully less dramatic) next relationship. 3
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Your best bet is to move on. This young man has a lot of drama in his life because of his ex GF's pregnancy. He has to learn how to be a parent now. And I suspect he's going to make an effort to "do the right thing" by staying with her. But his "I miss you" text is a big indicator that he is Trouble (and with a capital T). I would bet he has made a lot of commitments to his "ex" and yet he is keeping you on a string. I would also bet that he has told lies to both of you and you discovered some of those lies during your conversation with the ex GF. Let these two have each other. You are 18 and have your entire life in front of you. You don't need some BF that has a baby with another girl. Honestly, your best bet here is to go "no contact" with him. Tell him to go sort out his life, good luck to him, and to leave you alone because you're moving on. If he contacts you after that, ignore it and delete it. Break ups always suck but the sooner you detach from him, the sooner you'll be detached from him. If you stay in contact with him, you won't move on. Let him go deal with the drama he's created. Understand that you weren't rejected; he now has a serious lifetime commitment to attend to. And you look forward towards a healthier (and hopefully less dramatic) next relationship. Awww thank you soo much for this. Your advices means a lot to me. You all helped me realize things.. This is going to be hard but I will hope that I will move on.. I'll ignore him. I can't be a third party to their story now. It hurts though. I didn't want us to be like this but oh well...
CountrySlicker Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I don't really have a lot to add except that you will get through this and be stronger for it. Rejection hurts. Abandonment hurts. Finding out you weren't in the relationship you thought you were hurts. Don't fall victim to his wanting his cake and eating it too. Every time he contacts you it will be like ripping the scab off. Block him in any way you can. And hold your head up high. You did nothing wrong. 2
whichwayisup Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Today, he really is messing up with my heart. He just texted me that he misses me. :"( I'm sorry I'm new to this kind of problem so I really have no idea what to do and what not to do.. I'm sorry for bothering you guys It hurts, even though 2 months, still hurts.. Ask him to please stop texting you. Let him know that he has to now focus on his gf and their unborn child. All you can do is grieve the loss and rely on your friends and family to help you through this. And, make sure to get out and have some fun too! 1
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I don't really have a lot to add except that you will get through this and be stronger for it. Rejection hurts. Abandonment hurts. Finding out you weren't in the relationship you thought you were hurts. Don't fall victim to his wanting his cake and eating it too. Every time he contacts you it will be like ripping the scab off. Block him in any way you can. And hold your head up high. You did nothing wrong. I know.. it hurts Thank you for that. Sometimes I just wonder why this has to happen to us. There's so many what ifs going on my mind. Can't help it.
Author brokenheartedgal Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 It hurts, even though 2 months, still hurts.. Ask him to please stop texting you. Let him know that he has to now focus on his gf and their unborn child. All you can do is grieve the loss and rely on your friends and family to help you through this. And, make sure to get out and have some fun too! Thanks for understanding me. And even though it hurts, I won't reply to any of his text msg now... Thank you, really!
Recommended Posts