laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hi, so i'm new here But I need your help!! I dated this guy that I totally fell for. We broke up but he kept talking to me.. we ended up starting to see each other again a little less than a month after we broke up .. he came back.. we've been seeing each other for 6 months now... that doesn't include the time we dated. He says that we are " seeing each other just not with a label of bf/gf" Everyone knows we are together. The thing i'm confused about is sometimes when we are out he will tell me when he thinks another girl is hot or attractive.... I know we are technically not officially a couple so I can't really get upset but, I'm just curious is anyone else has run into this kind of thing before? Is it just normal boy behavior??
NateC Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hi, so i'm new here But I need your help!! I dated this guy that I totally fell for. We broke up but he kept talking to me.. we ended up starting to see each other again a little less than a month after we broke up .. he came back.. we've been seeing each other for 6 months now... that doesn't include the time we dated. He says that we are " seeing each other just not with a label of bf/gf" Everyone knows we are together. The thing i'm confused about is sometimes when we are out he will tell me when he thinks another girl is hot or attractive.... I know we are technically not officially a couple so I can't really get upset but, I'm just curious is anyone else has run into this kind of thing before? Is it just normal boy behavior?? He's afraid of commitment. He'll either snap out of it or won't. Honestly, I'd just fade out and be less available because it's your feelings that you have to look out for.
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 He's afraid of commitment. He'll either snap out of it or won't. Honestly, I'd just fade out and be less available because it's your feelings that you have to look out for. Thanks! I know I have to do what's right for me in the end.. it's just confusing because he always wants to hang out.. and I get invited to go home with him for the holidays. His family loves me, his friends do too. I just hope waiting it out a little bit longer isn't a stupid decision.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 He's making sure he's asserting his "we're not a couple" boundaries by treating you like a buddy... a f*ck buddy, it seems. If you're looking for a committed relationship, I'd move on from this guy.
NateC Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Thanks! I know I have to do what's right for me in the end.. it's just confusing because he always wants to hang out.. and I get invited to go home with him for the holidays. His family loves me, his friends do too. I just hope waiting it out a little bit longer isn't a stupid decision. Nothing's wrong with waiting it out ...worst case is that he doesn't change. I would talk to him about your feelings too. 1
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 That's where I get confused... because we're not fck buddies.. I've flat out asked him because I don't really want to be that, with anyone. He calls all the time, comes over.. comes to dinner with my parents, spends time with me and my sister and her kids .. we go to see his mom and spend time with her ( she lives north of us). Spent the holidays together. When I tell you he does everything a bf does i'm not kidding.. he gets jealous if another guy talks to me .. I live with a few roommates and one has a lot of male friends and he freaks out if he knows they are over and he has to work that night.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Thanks! I know I have to do what's right for me in the end.. it's just confusing because he always wants to hang out.. and I get invited to go home with him for the holidays. His family loves me, his friends do too. I just hope waiting it out a little bit longer isn't a stupid decision. You're like that honda he drives until he can afford a mercedes. It still gets you from point A to point B just the same, but it's not what you're looking to drive in the future because it's not your ideal car. 1
NateC Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 That's where I get confused... because we're not fck buddies.. I've flat out asked him because I don't really want to be that, with anyone. He calls all the time, comes over.. comes to dinner with my parents, spends time with me and my sister and her kids .. we go to see his mom and spend time with her ( she lives north of us). Spent the holidays together. When I tell you he does everything a bf does i'm not kidding.. he gets jealous if another guy talks to me .. I live with a few roommates and one has a lot of male friends and he freaks out if he knows they are over and he has to work that night. Seems like he wants all the benefits without actually being committed ...it's rather childish I have to say. Tell him how you feel and that if he doesn't want a relationship then he can't control what you do - and you're just friends hanging out. Yes, it's possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and be involved in their lives somewhat - but that's where the line is drawn.
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 You're like that honda he drives until he can afford a mercedes. It still gets you from point A to point B just the same, but it's not what you're looking to drive in the future because it's not your ideal car. I'm definitely not a Honda. 1
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Seems like he wants all the benefits without actually being committed ...it's rather childish I have to say. Tell him how you feel and that if he doesn't want a relationship then he can't control what you do - and you're just friends hanging out. Yes, it's possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and be involved in their lives somewhat - but that's where the line is drawn. Yeah, I think I will talk to him. We have plans to go get breakfast tomorrow morning so maybe I'll bring it up at some point. 1
NateC Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Yeah, I think I will talk to him. We have plans to go get breakfast tomorrow morning so maybe I'll bring it up at some point. Good! At the very least you'll get your questions answered. If you ever doubt something, ask and always put yourself first. 1
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Good! At the very least you'll get your questions answered. If you ever doubt something, ask and always put yourself first. Thank you NateC. He's talked about us having kids before and having a cute little family. So I need to ask these questions because I need to know what's going on .. for myself.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I'm definitely not a Honda. He's treating you like one, by refusing to commit to you.
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 He's treating you like one, by refusing to commit to you. I meant looks wise i'm not a Honda. Lol. That's also where i'm confused .. in the entire time that we have been seeing each other ... ( after the break up and him coming back ) I have not texted him first once... not once. He always starts the convos and plans things for us to do. idk... i'll have to see whats going on
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I'm definitely not a Honda. There is nothing wrong with Honda
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 There is nothing wrong with Honda Lol .. didn't mean to offend anyone! I'm just a bimmer girl
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I meant looks wise i'm not a Honda. Lol. That's also where i'm confused .. in the entire time that we have been seeing each other ... ( after the break up and him coming back ) I have not texted him first once... not once. He always starts the convos and plans things for us to do. idk... i'll have to see whats going on Oh, well that's not how I took the other poster's comment. In other words, he's waiting for something better to come along. You seem convinced otherwise though, as you continue through this thread. I'm not sure if you wanted honest opinions or validation. Either way, yeah, you should talk to him. After 6 months of dating, he should be PROUD to call you his girlfriend and commit to you, and if not... I'd walk.
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Oh, well that's not how I took the other poster's comment. In other words, he's waiting for something better to come along. You seem convinced otherwise though, as you continue through this thread. I'm not sure if you wanted honest opinions or validation. Either way, yeah, you should talk to him. After 6 months of dating, he should be PROUD to call you his girlfriend and commit to you, and if not... I'd walk. Honestly, I don't know why I came here... for opinions or validation or what... I think I just really needed to write out what was going on and not be the only one to read it.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Honestly, I don't know why I came here... for opinions or validation or what... I think I just really needed to write out what was going on and not be the only one to read it. Fair enough. LS really isn't a personal diary, and you're not going to get answers to your particular conundrum here either. It seems that you need resolution one way or another. So, you can either continue with the status quo, or you can talk to him and take action (or inaction) based on what he tells you. I'd go with the latter is all. Good luck!
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Fair enough. LS really isn't a personal diary, and you're not going to get answers to your particular conundrum here either. It seems that you need resolution one way or another. So, you can either continue with the status quo, or you can talk to him and take action (or inaction) based on what he tells you. I'd go with the latter is all. Good luck! Thank you .. oo a bunny!!! :bunny:
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hi, so i'm new here But I need your help!! I dated this guy that I totally fell for. We broke up but he kept talking to me.. we ended up starting to see each other again a little less than a month after we broke up .. he came back.. we've been seeing each other for 6 months now... that doesn't include the time we dated. He says that we are " seeing each other just not with a label of bf/gf" Everyone knows we are together. The thing i'm confused about is sometimes when we are out he will tell me when he thinks another girl is hot or attractive.... I know we are technically not officially a couple so I can't really get upset but, I'm just curious is anyone else has run into this kind of thing before? Is it just normal boy behavior?? Sounds more like an FWB situation? Is he seeing other women other than you (that maybe he just isn't telling you about)? Why did you two break up the first time? He seems not to want to make a commitment to you.. It's rude of him to point out other (hot) women when you are with him. In his own way he's letting you know (subconsciously, maybe?) he is looking for someone else. This has nothing to do with you. You've done nothing wrong. He is the one who seems to not want to make it serious and take it to the next level. Question is, is he worth it? If he is making you feel bad, why date him?
Author laurynn Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Sounds more like an FWB situation? Is he seeing other women other than you (that maybe he just isn't telling you about)? Why did you two break up the first time? He seems not to want to make a commitment to you.. It's rude of him to point out other (hot) women when you are with him. In his own way he's letting you know (subconsciously, maybe?) he is looking for someone else. This has nothing to do with you. You've done nothing wrong. He is the one who seems to not want to make it serious and take it to the next level. Question is, is he worth it? If he is making you feel bad, why date him? He's not seeing anyone else.. I have one good thing on my side. His best friend since birth practically. That kid has my back in this situation. And the two of us have talked about not seeing other people. He doesn't make me feel bad, I actually really like spending time with him. I know its okay to look at other people and think they are attractive Im just not sure why he feels like he has to tell me ya know? We are comfortable with each other tho We broke up because he felt like he wasn't being a good boyfriend to me. He had been out of a serious relationship for years before meeting me. ( He got cheated on veryyy badly before) His mom told me that he said to her that he got nervous that everything with the two of us was actually working. It didn't even last a month before he was at my door one night. It's a very long story to tell
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