Augustrain79 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I hate that I ever read that book.... New guy.. two weeks in. Seen him twice, but not anything big or planned out. Both times we met for drinks at some nice local places. He calls and texts every day, multiple times a day. Each day on his way home from work I talk to him the entire time. I went out of town this weekend and he was very flirty and Sunday when I got home he wrote me how he wanted to see me etc.... so we were going to meet up again and I was happy and started getting ready.... Then he flaked out on me and decided to stay in... Monday and today... same thing multiple calls and texts, some flirty some goofiness (we joke around a lot) and tonight on his way home he says we should meet and get some drinks. We hang up when he gets home and once again, I start getting ready (BEING BEAUTIFUL TAKES TIME) He texts me about an hour and a half later and tells me he is going to take a nap and if he goes out it will be later. Disappointed I told him I didn't want to be out too late cause I had to work tomorrow and I told him I would have to pass. He wrote me back that I better smile darnit.... LOL...and then stopped texting.... I can't tell if he's into me or not per everything I've read. Bugging out on seeing me twice in a week is kinda hard to take. Some side notes... he doesn't want to have sex yet until it means something. He closed mouth kissed me several times on our second date. It was kinda sweet.... But then when I mentioned the word date he said he doesn't "date" and that due to jumping into relationships too fast in the past he wants to be friends first. On the phone he jokes about teaching me his "book of love" and often makes joking references to us in the future. AND the wierdest one of all... he totally blows off any mention of either me seeing/coming too his place or him seeing/coming too mine.... it's so weird. But in the end he makes me smile and I do like him... I just can't tell if he's really into me or just bored (all darn day?) or something??? It sucks when they call and make all that effort and then totally inconsiderate of your time. I think I'm going to have to cut off some availability for him or something. I actually need a guys input.... lol What would cause a guy to act this way?
Ruby Slippers Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I don't know why he's acting that way, but I do know that if a guy I just met flaked on me twice, I'd move on immediately. Flaking once is bad enough. Twice is just totally lame. I'd say the same of a new friend. And yeah, no guy is gonna flake like that on a girl he really likes. Also, don't let him set the "friends first", "hanging out", whatever agenda. I don't want to be friends or hang out with men I'm interested in romantically. I want to date them and see if we're a match for something more. If they're not up for that, they can go "hang out" with someone else.
Maneater Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 What strikes me as odd is how straight forward he is about NOT having sex. That's very weird. It's ok for men to act like a gentleman but this guy sounds like he may have functioning issues. There are way more men out there than I ever thought who need the little blue pill! Hahah
Author Augustrain79 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Ha Maneater....you are probably dead on though Im not certain! He has some medical problems with his heart and is on a bunch of meds. Hes expressed a lack of interest in sex on the whole, though it doesnt stop him from making inneuendos and sexual jokes. I know he said he is not a "5 minute man" because of it, but denied a full on functioning issue....he talks a lot and volunteers quite a bit of info on his own. I actually suspect he is a bit ADHD...SQUIRREL! I can deal with that but not the flakiness about the dates. Ruby...do you think wanting to be friends first its some kind of game hes playing?? I guess I sorta flaked out tonight cause it wasnt on my timetable so idk about that one.
newmoon Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 you're too available. if he calls/texts every day and you're ready to meet up on the same night he is texting you from work on the drive home... sounds like he has good intentions on the way home and then probably gets there and is tired from the drive/day and wants to stay in. the way to avoid his flakiness? only accept dates that are well planned out in advance and that you have 3-5 days notice of. last minute hookups = trouble. you're proving yourself to be too available and he is taking it for granted already. make him do something with you that involves prepurchasing tickets - i bet he won't be so quit to flake out
skylark100 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 ehh, he's not really into you. Sorry! Cancelling last minute is bad. You are most likely an option but not at the top of his list. Cut ties. Not worth your time. The sex thing is weird.
D-Lish Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I believe in the fact that if you have to question if he's into you or not, he probably isn't.
Author Augustrain79 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 He's 31..... Thanks for the advice everyone. I agree and it probably is because I was too available. :/ I truly suck at not being that way! Not because I dont want to keep my own life, but because I let my emotions and desires take over. Blah....someone needs to lovk me in a closet and take my phone away so I dont answer it!
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