KungFuJoe Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 You're certainly entitled to hold archaic and sexist views on gender roles. With all my archaic sexist views...there is one thing I've never been accused of. Not being a man. 4
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 The guy I made this post about messaged me today... He and his gf broke up and he saw my sad statuses and now he wants to take me out. I don't think I want to. Idk I mean maybe he's changed or something? Seems kinda risky though
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 He was upfront and honest about it. If you are worried ask if he has taken anger management course. If he has he should have a certificate to prove it. Manager management courses provide tools to control anger before it get out of control. We all get angry btw it's just that most people don't go that far. Mind you people from POF are usually bottom feeders. I know but the hot guys are on pof and idk how to meet anyone anywhere else. He is a good dad I think.. That's good
apple OR orange Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 The below is singular the one reason i NEVER EVER help anyone EVER. The nearest i will get will be to call the police, or something but i NEVER approach anyone to help. Mainly as governments / police etc.. have this tarnished view of "innocent until proven guilty, except when we decide someone is right and we will blame up until you can prove otherwise, however by then your life will never be worth living anyway as you where wrong" This including giving people lifts home, I will call a taxi for them, however there not getting in my car and I am not going with them. I once threw an xmas party at my house and my friend's wife got hammered and sloppy drunk. She was acting like an ass hitting on other people's husbands, trying to make out with other women, getting into arguments with people- just all around making an ass of herself. My male friend was so embarrassed and upset and he confronted her. She threw a drink in his face and flew into a drunken rage- and he ended up grabbing her wrist and shoving her away from him after she picked up another drink and tried to throw it at him for a second time. She fell on her butt and he tried to help her up and she clocked him in the jaw. He left, mortified and she stuck around crying and lamenting that he had assaulted her. There was a room full of people bearing witness as this unfolded- and we saw the whole incident. Had this argument happened, say once they got home and were alone, and neighbours called the police and she claimed he assaulted her- the benefit of the doubt would have been given to her and he would have been hauled away. This was a circumstance in which he was righteous in defending himself and not indicative of who I knew him to be as a person I'd known for 10 years at that time. I don't think one altercation makes someone an abusive person- and circumstances and context do matter. In a situation like this, when you don't know this person well, you have to rely on your gut to help you make a decision. It doesn't mean he is abusive- but it doesn't mean he isn't. If you do decide to date him, I'd proceed with extreme caution.
TheGuard13 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 He is like telling me all this stuff about how he has been to jail a few times for different things and I am starting to not really want to talk to him anymore, but I don't want to be a bitch and like stop talking to him and then he will think I am judging him you know? I just don't want to date someone with so much extra you know? I mean jail time for stuff and a child it is just a lot. Can I just slowly fade out maybe? But...you are judging him. While I think shoving someone against a wall and pushing them down is hardly the worst incident of abuse I've heard, and believe that even if someone has done jail time and a bad thing or two in the past does not neccessarily make them a bad person, it's cause for concern. A red flag. Does that mean you run? I guess if you run over red flags of any kind, then yeah. If you can't handle this stuff or are insecure about the possibility this guy has a troubled past, leave.
Buttercup84 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 No. They are all nice before the abuse starts. As someone who was with an abuser, I know. Please do not talk to him anymore.
ChessPieceFace Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Hypothetically say you met a guy and he seemed nice and stuff and super sweet and said all the right stuff, then you found out they at one point a year or so ago got in trouble for throwing their child's mom against a wall and pushing her down... but they changed and got help and stuff would you believe that they changed? Would you take a chance and date them? Just wondering.. 2 sides to every story. Many people could crack and get violent (even women) if they are needled, belittled and verbally abused long enough by their SO. What happened is a bad indicator but not an absolute deal-breaker IMO. What you need is objective information about what really happened and why, but that would be almost impossible to obtain. Guess it's up to you whether to try to obtain that info to make a more informed decision, to toss him out in fear of what MIGHT happen, or to take your chances and potentially get thrown against a wall someday. Your decision to make. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Never. There is a guy everyone knows in my town who used to be a good guy years ago. Then he changed (he started to use drugs). He was married and had two little children, started to beat his wife and she left. Then he took up with other women after his divorce, he beat them as well. I see him around places, and I don't even like being in the same room with him. It's well known that he can and will beat up whoever he's with, but that's not enough to ban him from public places. Stay away from whoever it is you're talking about. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I'm just going to not bother talking to him. It's not worth the potential trouble.
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