nes9 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) So as people can see in my previous posts, my ex and I are in the same program on a medical campus. She dumped me for her ex-bf who is LDR across the country over xmas break. Unfortunately, her and I are in all the same classes. Our class size is 160, which makes the big lectures very tolerable. I barely have to see her if I don't want. Unfortunately, her and I signed up for the same elective this semester which is only a 24 person class. Even worse, one of our classes which is 80 people, is broken up into groups of 5. We do not get to pick and are stuck in them the entire semester without the ability to switch. HER AND I GOT PUT IN THE SAME GROUP OF FIVE. This class is 4 hours long and we are forced to work with each other the entire time. We had the first day of that class yesterday and it was insanely awkward sitting at the same table, it was even awkward for some of the other people at the table because they knew of our breakup and what happened over break (our class is very gossipy). After how awkward it was yesterday I decided I had to have a "talk" with her or this semester was going to be rough as hell. Any advice on how to handle this ****ty ass situation? The old "ignore her" trick isn't really going to work here. Edited January 15, 2013 by nes9
Amelie1980 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Speak to your tutors & get moved into another group.
Amelie1980 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I know they say no ability to switch...but make it clear it May affect the group.
Author nes9 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 I know they say no ability to switch...but make it clear it May affect the group. There are no tutors, only the professors and course directors. They do not allow switching groups even for these types of reasons. It was stated at the beginning of our program when they talked about dating within the class. They expect you to not let personal issues affect school and work around them. I'm fine with being in the same lectures as her, as they are large. But the odds of being assigned to the same group of five is just insane. Horrible, horrible luck. When it rains it pours.
LostOne1 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 There are no tutors, only the professors and course directors. They do not allow switching groups even for these types of reasons. It was stated at the beginning of our program when they talked about dating within the class. They expect you to not let personal issues affect school and work around them. I'm fine with being in the same lectures as her, as they are large. But the odds of being assigned to the same group of five is just insane. Horrible, horrible luck. When it rains it pours. I see 2 things happening. Either you become STRONGER and get to face her head on and get through this and become SUPER strong. Or It could be a good thing, that lets you bond again and lets her feel the way she did about you again. She might have fun talking and laughing and realize you are what she really wants. So this is a blessing in either way man. Either way you GET something out of it. You get her or you get to become stronger and fight a problem head on like a man. My advice is go in as a stranger and be nice to her. By being nice I mean don't show any hate. It will hurt her more to know your mature enough to talk and be a man, but talk NOTHING about the relationship. If you want to make the group laugh and all or talk.. do it like you normally do. But do not pay any extra or special attention to her. Treat her like she is another group member.
Chi townD Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Oh, BS! Im a college professor and if someone asked me to switch out of a group., I would have no problem with it. If it would mean saving me a lot of grief and drama, hell ya! Switch! Professors just want to go in there, do their thing and get the hell outta there. Did she try to talk to you at all?
LduKaZ Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 There are no tutors, only the professors and course directors. They do not allow switching groups even for these types of reasons. It was stated at the beginning of our program when they talked about dating within the class. They expect you to not let personal issues affect school and work around them. I'm fine with being in the same lectures as her, as they are large. But the odds of being assigned to the same group of five is just insane. Horrible, horrible luck. When it rains it pours. I would go and talk to them. Even if they said no, at least try. Tell them is not fair that YOUR situation is going to affect the marks of 3 other people. I doubt they are that coldhearted and stupid not to switch you.. Tough luck man. I really wish there was more advise I could give you.
Author nes9 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Oh, BS! Im a college professor and if someone asked me to switch out of a group., I would have no problem with it. If it would mean saving me a lot of grief and drama, hell ya! Switch! Professors just want to go in there, do their thing and get the hell outta there. Did she try to talk to you at all? I ended up pulling her aside after class to talk so the awkwardness in the future would hopefully be diminished. Edited January 16, 2013 by nes9
Author nes9 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 I see 2 things happening. Either you become STRONGER and get to face her head on and get through this and become SUPER strong. Or It could be a good thing, that lets you bond again and lets her feel the way she did about you again. She might have fun talking and laughing and realize you are what she really wants. So this is a blessing in either way man. Either way you GET something out of it. You get her or you get to become stronger and fight a problem head on like a man. My advice is go in as a stranger and be nice to her. By being nice I mean don't show any hate. It will hurt her more to know your mature enough to talk and be a man, but talk NOTHING about the relationship. If you want to make the group laugh and all or talk.. do it like you normally do. But do not pay any extra or special attention to her. Treat her like she is another group member. This is likely my only choice Lostone. Unfortunately, first day of class was yesterday and though I did not show any hate towards her, it was really awkward between us. I got her to talk to me after class in a private area, and obviously relationship talk came up. Regardless, the talk was had and I felt much better after it. It will obviously still be weird going forward knowing what happened between us, but I will just have to become stronger by overcoming the adversity that is going to be placed in front of my face for the semester. I'll take your advice and treat her as just another group member, because right now that's all she is.
LduKaZ Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Good for you man. And remember if it becomes tough, which it will, you can always post here for support. Keep it up man!
oracle Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Bite the bullet.. You are an adult and a big boy.. You can handle this. Look; I was with my spouse for 15 years, and I have had to live with him for 2.5 years post break and work with him for 1 year post break while we liquidated the business. 6 months of that was while he was living it up at work best buddies with the 18yo object of his desired and catalyst for the end of our relationship. In the meantime I have watched him date, not come home at night, know very well when hes having sex with someone else for the first time in his life etc. What I am saying, is as ****ty as it is.. you can tolerate it and get used to pretty much anything. Hang in the buddy! It gets better So as people can see in my previous posts, my ex and I are in the same program on a medical campus. She dumped me for her ex-bf who is LDR across the country over xmas break. Unfortunately, her and I are in all the same classes. Our class size is 160, which makes the big lectures very tolerable. I barely have to see her if I don't want. Unfortunately, her and I signed up for the same elective this semester which is only a 24 person class. Even worse, one of our classes which is 80 people, is broken up into groups of 5. We do not get to pick and are stuck in them the entire semester without the ability to switch. HER AND I GOT PUT IN THE SAME GROUP OF FIVE. This class is 4 hours long and we are forced to work with each other the entire time. We had the first day of that class yesterday and it was insanely awkward sitting at the same table, it was even awkward for some of the other people at the table because they knew of our breakup and what happened over break (our class is very gossipy). After how awkward it was yesterday I decided I had to have a "talk" with her or this semester was going to be rough as hell. Any advice on how to handle this ****ty ass situation? The old "ignore her" trick isn't really going to work here.
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