cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Arrrgh. Sorry man she just USED you to feel better and sucked you dry like a vampire so she could feel better. Now that she is full after a feeding she us off again and you are left weak, wobbly, and pondering. That sucks. Id tell her to f*k off forever. I mean sounds harsh but what she did is a really low blow. Id definitely get to the bottom of it like now, give her a piece of your mind, and then let her go forever this time. What an immature B*tch. Sorry
iouaname Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 She sounds very confused. This was really cruel of her, too, if she is going to bail again. You should not initiate contact. With the way she seems to behave - I would bet money that she will contact you and then you have the option to either ignore her or tell her that you will not speak to her again because of what she did last time. You might get a clearer idea of where her head is at that way. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) I vote no waiting. It will just bother you. Call her. She is either IN like she supposedly wanted last night and you guys try again. Or You are out for good. Like block her number forever and tell her to NEVER contact you again. You aren't her doormat and now you have no more respect for her..grow up ...and good bye...or something along those lines. Don't be a p*ssy. Good luck! Cav Ps i have seen this pattern before and unfortunately once they are gone they tend to stay gone. Any contact even loving contact helps them move on and get over you even more ALL AT YOUR EXPENSE..they don't even do it consciously but they do do it. Just ask puzzled or confuzed human being. They also got strung along like you did. Edited January 28, 2013 by cavalier99
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Thanks for the advise guys. I forgot to mention, she worked at 9 in the morning. She left my house at 7 (still a bit drunk), after a night of drinking, crying for hours, and absolutely no sleep. She worked till 6 PM, so Id assume she went straight to bed.. So I dont think I can call her and yell at her in this stage. Shes not working tomorrow. Should I just wait for a text? Or should I contact her and ask her wtF tomorrow?
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Thanks for the advise guys. I forgot to mention, she worked at 9 in the morning. She left my house at 7 (still a bit drunk), after a night of drinking, crying for hours, and absolutely no sleep. She worked till 6 PM, so Id assume she went straight to bed.. So I dont think I can call her and yell at her in this stage. Shes not working tomorrow. Should I just wait for a text? Or should I contact her and ask her wtF tomorrow? Nahh just get it over with. No games. Her response of lack of will let you know where she is at. I bet she just says she just wanted to be friends and crys some after you tell her you are out forever. But it wont change her mind. G*d these things suck. Sorry. I could be wrong but i don't think so.
iouaname Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 You don't want to get stuck playing games is the thing. She has to make a decision, and you need to be stern with your position as well.
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 She sounds very confused. This was really cruel of her, too, if she is going to bail again. You should not initiate contact. With the way she seems to behave - I would bet money that she will contact you and then you have the option to either ignore her or tell her that you will not speak to her again because of what she did last time. You might get a clearer idea of where her head is at that way. She is very confused. But she said she realized its not about me, because she cant stop thinking about me. She's had a really rough childhood. Parents divorced, one stepdad died, another one dumped the mom. Shes had 4 stepfathers, her one bro is a stoner, the other one is an antisocial homosexual.. I just refuse to believe that someone whos had a total lack of love in her life, could pull this **** just to make herself feel better. It truly feels horrible because last night I torn my guards to pieces, and I opened her my heart to the fullest.
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I just refuse to believe that someone whos had a total lack of love in her life, could pull this **** just to make herself feel better. It truly feels horrible because last night I torn my guards to pieces, and I opened her my heart to the fullest. It just sucks. Listen it isn't even done maliciously but the dumper is just in a different place. She can handle this contact and even hooking up....You cant. You are giving her closure at your expense. This makes it easier for her to let you go. ..and harder on you. I feel like I'm having the exact conversation i had with Confused. Where is he?
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I told her I wanted to be with her, and be he strenght when shes down. I told her Id stick with her, through good and bads, because I cared that much. And because when Im with her I feel like my life is complete. She smiled and kissed me and said she didnt believe me. But if I could say the same thing to her when we are both sober, she would trust me forever.
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I told her I wanted to be with her, and be he strenght when shes down. I told her Id stick with her, through good and bads, because I cared that much. And because when Im with her I feel like my life is complete. She smiled and kissed me and said she didnt believe me. But if I could say the same thing to her when we are both sober, she would trust me forever. Arrrrgh. Heart wrenching. I call BS but well find out how sincere she is tommorow. I'm sure she meant it in a reminisent way..or what i call 'the look back". She misses what you had some. Comes back for a bit..but keep on moving forward without you. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear it is just my experience in my own life and from on here.
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 It just sucks. Listen it isn't even done maliciously but the dumper is just in a different place. She can handle this contact and even hooking up....You cant. You are giving her closure at your expense. This makes it easier for her to let you go. ..and harder on you. I feel like I'm having the exact conversation i had with Confused. Where is he? Ive been in this situation in the past. But Ive never met a person whod be so malicious or confused that shed come and PROMISE to try things because she loves me and cant stand being without me. And the next day just disappear again.. That is just seriously ****ed up.
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I do appreciate the advise cav, I know reality is usually the best way to deal with BU. I know what I have to do, and that is give her an ultimatum tomorrow. Hopefully she txts me before I have to. My only real concern here, is thinking that I actually fell in love with someone capable of promising things and love, just as a self confort. That is unheard of. In that case she be the biggest bitch Ive ever met. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I do appreciate the advise cav, I know reality is usually the best way to deal with BU. I know what I have to do, and that is give her an ultimatum tomorrow. Hopefully she txts me before I have to. My only real concern here, is thinking that I actually fell in love with someone capable of promising things and love, just as a self confort. That is unheard of. In that case she be the biggest bitch Ive ever met. I think it is just immaturity and she probably doesn't even realize how painful she just made this on you. Either way see what happens tommorow and run with the "biggest bitch ever" idea if it doesn't go well. Good luck man. Either way i can tell you'll be fine and probably will end up with some other super smoking hot babe if this doesn't work out. Rock on! Cav
cavalier99 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Correction... I meant Coping Vortex not ConfusedHumanBeing in my other post. Coping went thru this.
TroyNJ Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Bro, if you want to have any heart left, I'd suggest you run not walk away from this woman...She is gaslighting you to death, I have been through almost this exact thing. She is trying to make herself feel better. I wouldn't be surprised if a third party isn't involved, in fact I'd bet on it....Sorry what your going through but if you continue this it's going to take you a very long time to recover. Good Luck! 1
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Thanks man! Yeah I know. Its not like Im giving in or anything.. Since the breakup I did not break NC once, and honestly I didnt even ever feel like doing it. Not even drunk! But knowing that, I do love her and would give her another chance if she was willing to put her phobias aside. I told her not to ever text me again unless she wanted to get back together and try. And she came running saying she does!! Now I know she was drunk, but she wasnt drunk enough not to remember everything that was said. So if she doesnt text me tomorrow, Im gonna assume it was all a sick twisted joke to her, and that I cannot EVER forgive.
Stoic44 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Thanks man! Yeah I know. Its not like Im giving in or anything.. Since the breakup I did not break NC once, and honestly I didnt even ever feel like doing it. Not even drunk! But knowing that, I do love her and would give her another chance if she was willing to put her phobias aside. I told her not to ever text me again unless she wanted to get back together and try. And she came running saying she does!! Now I know she was drunk, but she wasnt drunk enough not to remember everything that was said. So if she doesnt text me tomorrow, Im gonna assume it was all a sick twisted joke to her, and that I cannot EVER forgive. I don't think she's being deliberately manipulative. It sounds like she misses you but she's afraid. I bet she texts you tomorrow. Be gentle, hear her out, then make it known what you want to see in terms of communication and visits.
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I don't think she's being deliberately manipulative. It sounds like she misses you but she's afraid. I bet she texts you tomorrow. Be gentle, hear her out, then make it known what you want to see in terms of communication and visits. Hey Stoic, good to see ur still kickin around! Hope your situation is better bro. She might or she might not text. Im trying to get prepared for the worst case scenario. If its the other way around I know the heart will speak.. But if she doesnt say anything, the heart needs to be shut up! lol
Stoic44 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 She could be emotionally immature--this is what it sounds like. I don't think she's being a deliberate bitch. Don't get yanked around though. Hear her out, then explain to her what you want out of the relationship and see if she can handle that. Good luck and keep us posted. -Chris
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Ok so, it's 1 PM and no word from her. I couldn't do this anymore, so I called her. She didn't pick up. I will wait a few hours, and then text her. I'll say I need to talk to her, and I need to talk to her NOW. A million girls out there I could make happy, and I'm sitting here wanting to believe everything she said was not a complete and utter lie! She had her second chance. If she doesn't take it tonight, and talks to me like a reasonable human being, I'm cutting her off, forever. I'm done with crap.
Nuna Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 That is so cruel and mad! I can't believe it she's like that with you...It's really immature and really terrible to act like this. I don't know what I would have done, probable wonder and confuse myself...I hope it ends in a nice way. I don't think having a difficult childhood or life gives her the right to treat you like this. Maybe you have to think if all this hassle is really worth it. Life is not to hurt, is to be joyful...
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 That is so cruel and mad! I can't believe it she's like that with you...It's really immature and really terrible to act like this. I don't know what I would have done, probable wonder and confuse myself...I hope it ends in a nice way. I don't think having a difficult childhood or life gives her the right to treat you like this. Maybe you have to think if all this hassle is really worth it. Life is not to hurt, is to be joyful... I know. Thank you so much for your words, you really made me sigh when I read this. I can't help but to be the way I am, always trusting people. I get hurt a million times, yet I always open my heart again. Its painful, but every time it happens, I feel like my heart becomes a little bit stronger. And that's what life really is all about right? Letting every mistake make you a stronger person. I am so sad that I've been played again. It's one thing to be confused, I understood her. Its another to be a big cruel liar. But I don't regret opening my door to her, at least I know how awesome and how much of a man I am and she is gonna miss. She can suck it after tonight.
Author LduKaZ Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 3:30 PM. 2 and a half hours have passed since my missed call. I'm starting to doubt if I should even text her... Should I even say anything? Or should I just assume that's it, and never talk to her again? I am getting so confused. If she's confused, if she wants to be single, if she cant commit to someone right now, if she's with someone else.. It's all good, I understand, it's her problem. But why does she have to take me down with her!? That is so ****in cruel...
TaraMaiden Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I hate to say this - but she's not doing anything. You''re doing this to yourself. God, honestly - I bang on about the wonderful 'rules' of NC - and people tell me how brilliant it is, what a lifesaver it is , what good advice it is, and yup, that's it from now on - NC it is, and no more messin'.... except just this one last time, just to see if..... AAAARGH!!! Whatever the hell it is you're trying to achieve - you're phukking up big time!! And it's all you - you're doing this!! She doesn't see 'awesome' or 'good' or 'trusting' - she sees clingy, desperate and doormat. Quit, fer chrissake, please, for your own sake, QUIT!!
Stoic44 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Don't go ape****. Step back. When she contacts you again, listen. Understand. Then peacefully say what you expect in terms of communication and visits if she wants to try.
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