promises Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Apparently he's home and with the photos he provided, the split didn't effect their income as he stated too much as he attached a photo of his/their new vehicle parked at their home. He also mentioned he's been spending a lot of time figuring out his issues in IC, one of which was that he self sabotages his relationships. And, also that he's been able to get away on the weekend to himself as well. Sounds like his life is grand. Thanks for letting me know as well as telling me he's been thinking of me a lot 'lately' and misses me and our friendship. Aw. How sweet.
Decorative Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Apparently he's home and with the photos he provided, the split didn't effect their income as he stated too much as he attached a photo of his/their new vehicle parked at their home. He also mentioned he's been spending a lot of time figuring out his issues in IC, one of which was that he self sabotages his relationships. And, also that he's been able to get away on the weekend to himself as well. Sounds like his life is grand. Thanks for letting me know as well as telling me he's been thinking of me a lot 'lately' and misses me and our friendship. Aw. How sweet. Can you return to sender? Get a restraining order? Anything?
Got it Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Apparently he's home and with the photos he provided, the split didn't effect their income as he stated too much as he attached a photo of his/their new vehicle parked at their home. He also mentioned he's been spending a lot of time figuring out his issues in IC, one of which was that he self sabotages his relationships. And, also that he's been able to get away on the weekend to himself as well. Sounds like his life is grand. Thanks for letting me know as well as telling me he's been thinking of me a lot 'lately' and misses me and our friendship. Aw. How sweet. Jesus, really? What does he want, a sticker??? A**hat. 3
Author promises Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Can you return to sender? Get a restraining order? Anything? There no return address. Although I know where he lives, but that would mean getting his W involved, which I've been told not to do. So, he hasn't threatened a restraining order wouldn't be valid. I can move- which is very, very irritating.
Author promises Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Jesus, really? What does he want, a sticker??? A**hat. He honestly has no remorse. No empathy.. I can't understand it.
ThatJustHappened Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 He's an @sshat. That's your explanation. Good for you for not falling for it! 1
Decorative Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 There no return address. Although I know where he lives, but that would mean getting his W involved, which I've been told not to do. So, he hasn't threatened a restraining order wouldn't be valid. I can move- which is very, very irritating. I would mail that letter to his wife, with no comment from you, as a certified letter that she needs to sign for. Who told you not to?
Author promises Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I would mail that letter to his wife, with no comment from you, as a certified letter that she needs to sign for. Who told you not to? My IC Reasoning is that she (the W) has demonstrated volatility.
Author promises Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I don't need her to know my address. 1
Decorative Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 My IC Reasoning is that she (the W) has demonstrated volatility. Ah. And you are positive that the volatility is her, and not her spouse masquerading as her, correct? ( I've seen that happen. It be nuts.) I agree if you have confirmed volatility from her, then don't send it. But just know- if she wants to find you- it's easy to do so. I can find almost anyone in about 10 minutes with a first and last name, and sometimes not even that much. So if you are truly concerned about her volatility, perhaps moving out of easy access is the best choice for you.
Author promises Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Ah. And you are positive that the volatility is her, and not her spouse masquerading as her, correct? ( I've seen that happen. It be nuts.) I agree if you have confirmed volatility from her, then don't send it. But just know- if she wants to find you- it's easy to do so. I can find almost anyone in about 10 minutes with a first and last name, and sometimes not even that much. So if you are truly concerned about her volatility, perhaps moving out of easy access is the best choice for you. I'm going to consult with a lawyer friend. 1
Decorative Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I'm going to consult with a lawyer friend. I think that is a most excellent idea .
Got it Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I third that. Stay away from the drama llama!!!
neveragain34 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 So random. I don't understand why he included a picture of his car?? If he's reaching out and saying he misses you, then rubbing his great life in your face is not the way to go. This just proves he's a creep unworthy of you. Be glad you are rid of this self-centered jerk!
Lillyfree Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 how done-in-the-head must you be to do weird stuff like sending the pic of your car if nothing else, this should make your healing easier. dodged a bullet there promises ...
Author promises Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 how done-in-the-head must you be to do weird stuff like sending the pic of your car if nothing else, this should make your healing easier. dodged a bullet there promises ... Well, it was just odd. Like saying, "Hi, look I'm home now! And we (BS and H) just bought this sweet vehicle to gift away the betrayal??"
Lillyfree Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Well, it was just odd. Like saying, "Hi, look I'm home now! And we (BS and H) just bought this sweet vehicle to gift away the betrayal??" i can tell from your posts how much you're hurting right now. just look forward to the point when you can think of messed up stuff he does and chuckle. *hugs*
Author promises Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 i can tell from your posts how much you're hurting right now. just look forward to the point when you can think of messed up stuff he does and chuckle. *hugs* It is messed up. Thanks, Lillyfree
truthbetold Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Promises, I'm not sure if you pray, but if you do one thing that always helped me when I was going through a really crap time was the scripture "do not avenge yourselves my children vengence is mine" If that doesn't resonate and either way Promises he has some of your past. DO NOT let him take your future. Tape it on the mirror if you have to but make that your mantra. When I was with my exh even though I was the one to leave I was left with not a whole lot of choice. For 10 years TEN, I would go off and on with the recriminations and the self flogging for what could have I done etc... I tried to drown the sorrow in bad dates. (big mistake) I worked on myself while I pined for love (bigger mistake I was glossing of the big issue and not fixing me I was looking for a crutch, if I would have remarried at that time it would have been a disaster) My point is I WASTED 10 years of ridiculous back and forth over a narcissist. (I eventually went to therapy for a few mos when I realized I wasn't healing strictly on my own). Then one day that expression of he had my past, he's not getting my future crossed my path. It took 2 more years. One of pulling my head out of my a$$ (more bad dates but I thought I was in control ) and one year of gloriously being on my own and learning to love me and be okay with just being with me and finding my own inner happiness (I know you're thinking right?) but it's true! Yes, I'm v happily remarried now, but I never would have found that if I wasn't happy with ME first. It took me 12 years total to find that. So yes, it takes a while to process and grieve an ending. But if YOU let it, it can consume you. Allow yourself only a specified amount of time to think about this. Then keep repeating "He had my past, HE'S not GETTING MY FUTURE. You will get through this. I'm gonna say a little prayer for you tonight that you are given peace and start to heal.
Author promises Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Thank you, Truth.. . So sweet.
Tenacity Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hi promises. I haven't been on here much lately. I have read your posts all the way through. I understand all the issues. I can relate to them. I think you won't give up on him yet and that fuels much of your posts... I don't blame you and I understand. But you need.... NEED! to stop this. Please admit it... he still fills your thoughts. I can tell. 1
Summer Breeze Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hey promises, I read a funny article tonight in Glamour...the coping stages of men who feel rejected. The first stage is denial & the second stage is the man proving to the female that rejected him how awesome he is so she knows what she's missing. So the house and car explain a lot. I remember when my ex mm called me after we tried going NC the first time to brag to me how he has a paid public appearance and how happy he was. It was the most bizarre call, but now looking back it makes sense. He is just showing you how "awesome" he thinks he is because he is feeling rejected. Boo hoo for him. I think this is a really good point. I saw it with an old BF that I'd broken up with. He kept showing up in these places and there was always a new girl or car he draped himself over. If I'd honestly felt he was happy I might have been happy for him. He actually looked pretty pathetic. I always kind of figured if somehow that boosted his ego and selfworth up then good for him. I think it's pathetic your xMM is doing this to you and to his W. I don't know how seriously dangerous his W is but I'd be tempted to send it to her. Even more my style is to go and make sure they're both home. Hand them the envelope and say that somehow that came through the post to you, and they may want it back since it holds no value or interest for you. Then walk away. You do need to heed the advice if you think it might cause problems you don't want to deal with though. He's an idiot. I'm sorry you're going through all this.
Got it Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Promises, I'm not sure if you pray, but if you do one thing that always helped me when I was going through a really crap time was the scripture "do not avenge yourselves my children vengence is mine" If that doesn't resonate and either way Promises he has some of your past. DO NOT let him take your future. Tape it on the mirror if you have to but make that your mantra. When I was with my exh even though I was the one to leave I was left with not a whole lot of choice. For 10 years TEN, I would go off and on with the recriminations and the self flogging for what could have I done etc... I tried to drown the sorrow in bad dates. (big mistake) I worked on myself while I pined for love (bigger mistake I was glossing of the big issue and not fixing me I was looking for a crutch, if I would have remarried at that time it would have been a disaster) My point is I WASTED 10 years of ridiculous back and forth over a narcissist. (I eventually went to therapy for a few mos when I realized I wasn't healing strictly on my own). Then one day that expression of he had my past, he's not getting my future crossed my path. It took 2 more years. One of pulling my head out of my a$$ (more bad dates but I thought I was in control ) and one year of gloriously being on my own and learning to love me and be okay with just being with me and finding my own inner happiness (I know you're thinking right?) but it's true! Yes, I'm v happily remarried now, but I never would have found that if I wasn't happy with ME first. It took me 12 years total to find that. So yes, it takes a while to process and grieve an ending. But if YOU let it, it can consume you. Allow yourself only a specified amount of time to think about this. Then keep repeating "He had my past, HE'S not GETTING MY FUTURE. You will get through this. I'm gonna say a little prayer for you tonight that you are given peace and start to heal. (((((Truthbetold)))))) I am glad you have your very happy ending.
Author promises Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 The brain of someone in deep love is much like the brain of an addict to drugs. Not all people get addicted to drugs. Not all people fall in love in a very deep obsessive manner. Some people can move on in an easier manner and for others it is hell to move on (c'est la vie). So I believe promises needs to treat this like an addiction and be strong with her NC. Sadly these intents by exMOM to communicate actually break NC and cause a relapse. It has felt like a love addiction. Although I have to say that I've realized that the degree of emotional upheaval he's thrown at me, must be magnified so greatly with his family. To be able to do this to many people with out blinking an eye is astonishing. To think of how sick I felt for the situation he was in and they where in and what a waste of time.
bigalagain Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I find it very odd the way these WS contact us. I mean WTF is with the nature of their communications? If they miss us, why say weird things? Why not just say so? I suppose the explanation of a man showing how awesome he is works for your case Promises, but still. Such an odd thing to break NC for. Is it to keep us on the hook or what?
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