becks77 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Ok, so I know this might be controversial but I just want to see what people think and, if I'm honest, get the thought completely out of my head by hearing what a bad idea it is... I have been having a bad week and missing him big time - nearly 2 months NC (except a xmas text he sent). Our break up was heartbreaking but there was no cheating and nothing really bad happened - it was a combination of timing and me being scared to commit due to past relationship baggage (my ex before my current ex cheated etc) and so he ended it. He told me he still loved me, was attracted to me and loved being with me but that we just didn't seem to be on the same page. He also said that he couldn't say for definite that he would never want a relationship with me but that it wasn't right for him after me never quite committing to him - oh boy I wish I could have been ready and over my past hang ups quicker! Now I'm not crazy - I know he means what he says and I'm not fooling myself that he wants me back...but...by staying NC am I missing opportunities to maybe win him over? I asked him not to contact me and he has pretty much respected that but I still wonder if I could make him see that I'm ready for commitment and by being in his life he might change his mind...? If I see him he might start to realise what he had/we had...? Look, I know this is a terrible idea and breaking NC is stupid and will set me back, but I keep thinking about it and I just want to hear from you guys to confirm how crazy I am...am I???
HARPER100 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I don't think breaking NC is the way to go. 2 months is long enough for some one to re-evaluate their feelings and if he hasn't already indicated that a reconciliation is possible then you have to except it's over and move on.
Amelie1980 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Only try it if you can handle the rejection. I broke nc on Sunday to tell him what an a$$clown he was and I got a lovely email back. bad move reading it in the early hours of Monday when I had to go to work. I got no sleep and felt sick to my stomach all day. I had to go to work on diazepam and use sleeping pills to get to sleep. so I know never ever AGAIN will I do it as I don't want to feel like that again.
Author becks77 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I don't think breaking NC is the way to go. 2 months is long enough for some one to re-evaluate their feelings and if he hasn't already indicated that a reconciliation is possible then you have to except it's over and move on. I guess you're right but then sometimes I wonder if he's not contacting me because he thinks I may have moved on or met someone else...I know that's stupid but I keep hoping...
LduKaZ Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 In this case, I don't think he was wrong at all. As a matter of fact I think he showed he is a real man. I can't remember the amount of times I thought I should've ended a relationship because the other party wasn't showing any commitment. I didn't, I kept believing the girl would change out of love and trying to pursue commitments and "future plans" from her. Naturally, after a while I got dumped, classic elastic band theory... This is a clear example of how NC works on a female mind.. He walked out on you when he had to, made you realize that he was not gonna sit there and wait for you. He gave you the space and time you probably asked for, and now you realize how much you do want to be with him... Now it might be too late. But honestly at this point girl, it doesn't matter if he rejects you. You can't lose what you don't have. Just be prepared for him to turn you down. I'd fancy my odds if I was you, do what your heart tells you and don't let your man slip away again out of fear.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Thanks for this thread! I've been wondering the same thing over and over!!!! I know he can contact if he wanted. But if we're both stubborn how can anything happen.. And he probably thinks I'm so angry. Unless his angry as well. I'm not sure. I'm confused and lost and I miss him more than anything
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