startinganew777 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I met a guy online. He was in the process of divorce and they have a son together. He said their marriage was over a long time ago and they just stayed together for the son. She is supposedly crazy, I heard this from him and his family and friends and she hit him, put a restraining order against him and then she filed for divorce. He meets me, we get along great. The relationship is fun, awesome and he is just so kind a caring. His family tell me they love me and that they have never seen him this happy before. We have so much in common and have so much fun, in fact, he told me a couple times that a couple days that we spent together was one of the best days of his life. Everything is going great and then all of a sudden, after 3 months, I don't hear from him for a couple days. I call him, no answer and then text him to ask if he is ok. Next day he texts me and basically apologizes for being weird lately and says he is going through a lot a **** and needs to talk to a professional about the best path to take in life, the best path for his son. He says it is nothing I did or do and that I will always be a good friend to him. Says I mean a lot to him for everything I have done. Of course I am upset and said I want some more explanations. He said his ex called him and said she is willing to do counseling. So I guess he is back with her. Just that fast. Like I didn't even matter. His whole family said she treated him so bad, he swore to me over and over that he was over her and I was what he wanted and then this. He even told me no one has ever treated him as good as I did. So why would you go back to such a toxic relationship?! I am so upset. I really liked him and saw a lot of potential. I told him as long as he is working on things with her NOT to contact me so I can move on and that he would never hear from me again. It has been a week. Does he even miss me? Will I hear from him again? I just don't get it. I gave it my all and everything was great with him. We didn't fight and had a blast, met each other's family and friends, he called me his girlfriend, how can he just shut me out like that? Didn't I even matter to him? I am not going to contact him at all. But it hurts to know that I must have not meant anything to him. It is hard to move on with no closure. WE were supposed to meet up to say goodbye but he couldn't because he was with her. He said last week he wanted to meet up and could this week but I told him to forget it. I wasn't going to wrestle with him on times to meet up and say goodbye. That was the last I heard from him.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 He was in the process of divorce...I told him as long as he is working on things with her NOT to contact me...t is hard to move on with no closure I have good news and bad news, both of which can be expressed in a single statement: You are the least nutty person in this triangle. I know you are hurt and ending something is never easy, but you avoided a huger mess down the road. You didn't move in with him. You didn't marry him. You didn't have a kid with him. You dodged 2 bullets: him and her. Any guy who would do this isn't right in the head and even if he was right in the head, they have a kid together. She will be in his life (and the life of any partner he has) for the rest of that kids life. Bullet dodge. Now quit talking like a crazy person (told him not to contact me and now he won't...I need closure...) and get on with your life.
Author startinganew777 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I am hurt and confused. I am not a crazy person. Thanks for the advice though
MyAngel Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I am so sorry you've had to go through this. Please put the idea of closure out of your mind. I am just over a month after it ended and closure was on my mind for a few weeks and now I am at the stage where I realise I don't need it. Wait it out, you'll get there. This guy is confused and doesn't know what he wants but for now he has chosen his ex. Leave him be and forget him. Find someone available!!
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