cnkale80 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I dated a girl back in '06 and we had the "connection" but the dating part of the relationship only lasted for a short while. We tried again but broke up a couple months afterwards. We both came to the conclusion we really cared for and had deep feelings for each other but our situation was too difficult for major compromises. I was in college in California but from the east coast and she was of course from California. We were both young and very much focussed on our education so I am sure that had a lot to do with it. Well, we stayed in touch for a while and tried to figure it out but just couldn't. We lost touch for 2 years or more and I contacted her sister to get her new number but she informed she had gotten engaged to somebody. It sent shockwaves of pain through me and I noticed on facebook she is now married. I think my pain from this is me having a sense of failure. I forgot to mention she tried calling me and emailed me once over those 2 years and I didn't respond. I'm reminded of Jake Owen's song "She was the One that Got Away", haha. Anyways, I am sure most everybody has gone through this and feels regret so any words of wisdom and helpful advice would be greatly apprecated.
skweezd Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I had the same experience with a boy from school. I dated him for three years and then again after I was divorced at a young age. He moved to Florida and I thought I would have never hear from him again. Then this invention of this Facebook thing came along and he friended me. It was YEARS later and I still felt that ping. So what did I do? I planned a trip to Florida and spent a week there. Well let me tell you something.... after a week I was ready to go home. It was nothing like I remembered. We were two very different people at this point in our lives. But, I am glad I went there and discovered that because it would have always been this big question mark in my head. In your situation, you never know what the future holds. Her marriage may not last and usually the first thing people do when it falls apart, is contact an old love. If you want to answer that big question mark in your head.... this time answer her call. Also keep in mind, you could be somewhere completely different in your life by then and want nothing to do with it. For now, keep searching, you will find that special someone if your heart is open. Good luck. Kim
Empath Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I think the only bubble of "normality" being burst here is the assumption that moving on means become immune to these kinds of pangs. The older I get, the more I learn that pretty much everyone across the board has a secret garden waiting to be razed. I would hedge that something would indeed be wrong with you, only if the reverse was true. I would never wish to become numb, cynical and walled off to a precious moment of my past. Take it as a reminder you haven't internally lost your ability to feel through the ravages of time. It's a precious, if painful, thing.
Author cnkale80 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 thanks for sharing kim. i never thought about the fact that who she was may not be who she is today since so much time has gone by. my heart wants her to be happy but my pride is saying i hope she calls me one day. ive always concealed my feelings to preserve my "man" side but i'll be the first to admit, i dropped some tears when i saw she was married. but i will surely take ur advice and answer the call if she calls. thanks again.
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