Nancywoo Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I'm grieving in secret, has anyone gone through this. Everyone thought we were just friends but he was the love of my life. Please can anyone who has gone through the same help?
Roi Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I'm grieving in secret, has anyone gone through this. Everyone thought we were just friends but he was the love of my life. Please can anyone who has gone through the same help? I can't imagine what it feels like but for what it's worth, we are compatible with lots of people, there are billions of people on earth, there is no "one", it will feel like it though when you have found someone compatible.., I wish you strenght!
Author Nancywoo Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Thank you Roi, it's only been three days. Today I have felt so many emotions, anguish, anger at him for leaving me heart broken and joy remembering our good times. I am sure I will get stronger everyday
MyAngel Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I am so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how hard that is for you.
RogerWallace111 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Very sorry you have to go through this... Do you have any third party (a friend/family member who didn't know him) that you can talk to ? If you don't have to deal with grief completely alone it could help. But either way it's just going to take time to come to terms with things. Just focus on the present and future and try to accept the pain you feel... I wish you strength also.
stevie_23 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Oh my god, when I read this my heart went down into my stomach. I am so sorry about your loss of your love. I had sometimes, when I was with my MM, imagined how I’d feel and what I’d do if he died. I didn’t know how I’d cope. I understand not being able to talk to anyone and having to grieve in secret. I have gone through some grieving recently when my MM broke up with me and I couldn’t show or tell anyone in my real life. It was exhausting to act normal, though a distraction also. I’m glad you know you will get stronger everyday. I do hope you can find someone to talk to though. Even just on this forum. There are many supportive people here. Or a counsellor maybe? Maybe even…talk to him? His spirit? I don’t know if you believe any of that, but sometimes if someone has died and you feel alone and there may have been unfinished business or things left unsaid, it helps to talk to them when you’re alone. Just tell them how you feel…cry…express…or even write them a letter. Just to get it out. It can help. At the end of the day, love is all that matters. He knew you loved him, and you knew he loved you. This is all anyone can really hope for at the end of their lives I think. The most important thing in life is love. And you had it, which is an amazing blessing. You will always have it in your heart. 1
Author Nancywoo Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Thank you all for your replies. They have helped me through today. I realise now I must carry on functioning for the other people in my life. I took you advice and spoke to him today, cleared the air and ranted about leaving me heartbroken. As he was one of a group of friends I have just the funeral next Thursday to get through. Yesterday I thought I never would be strong enough. But today I know for his sake too I must keep it together. Many thanks again xx
stevie_23 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Again, I say that you knew he loved you right to the end. You never had to feel the anguish of his feelings fading or him leaving you voluntarily. He never left you. He still loves you. And you experienced that love and you had the blessing of knowing and loving him, which you will never lose from your heart.
Author Nancywoo Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I'd known him and worked in same company for ten years, I moved jobs and house and we ended up in same village. We were good friends until two years ago where we became a bit more. He was same age as me 45, went into hospital for a back op, all was well two days afterwards we chatted by messenger etc and when it came to visiting time had obviously to stop whilst his OH was there. That was the last I heard of him, I was concerned all afternoon and at eight that evening got a call from another friend to say that he had taken a massive heart attack that and passed away. No one knew about us so jam very glad I can talk about Ian to you guys.
Author Nancywoo Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Tonight I feel slightly human, early days I know.
Author Nancywoo Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Now that does sound like a good idea, I will have a think what would be best. I had a real bad day yesterday at one point thought of going to my doc for something to get me through... But tonight I feel slightly less despair. I will be expected at the funeral and I feel as though I will get though it ok . he would have hated the thought of me suffering in this way.
Author Nancywoo Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Hi I've been a bit better again today, my stomach aches are still coming and going, but not there permanently today. Being able to tell on here has made all the difference.
Author Nancywoo Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 Hi LFH No one knew at all, would be a further tragedy for anything to come out now. I can only imagine how his OH is feeling, but that's six days now and I am finally managing to eat and sleep a bit better. We never planned to love each other, hard lesson learnt I suppose. Thanks for you support.
janet50 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Nancy woo, how are you. the same thing has happened to me, i am devastated with noone to turn to. Noone understands my grief. I dont know which way to turn.
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